Nikkah without Rukhsati

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Nikkah without Rukhsati

GS is actually addictive..i should be studyin ent too..but i am not :P

Finish this show , You are exposed TuQ & Brother
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ENT and eye we had last year. I thought PMDC ruled that all 4th year students must have it in thier course? Weird. Its easy though. im dreading peads medicine and surgery :(

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yea i am in 4th year .. :)

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Good luck you two with the nikah/rukhsati and studies ;) BTW =S I ought to be studying too sighs

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^Tayyebeh ... thnkz alot :)

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We went to one earlier this year where the bride had already had a baby lol

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Re: Nikkah without Rukhsati

The concept of engagament does exist in Islam, only desis seem to think it doesn’t. I believe the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) had a period of engagement with Khadija, signalling his intent to marry her. During this period the two ppl in question are supposed to stop considering other ‘potentials’ as they’ve shown their intention and promise to marry one another. It’s basic common sense and is sunnah. Also, an engagement party is permitted tho of course it isn’t an Islamic practice and shouldn’t be seen as such. I guess we should just see it as a sort of celebration but without all the added stuff that Christians do such as it being mostly about the ring..

             **Question:**

             
              **Are engagements classified as a sunnah? Is there precedence from the Prophet salaLlahu alahi wasalam, or tradition? **

         
                           **Answer:**

             In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful, 
              If by �engagement� it is meant both parties agreeing and promising          one another to enter into the contract of marriage (nikah), then this,          obviously, is permissible and not something that is an innovation, for          marriage must of course be preceded by mutual agreement. 
              Even in the days of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give          him peace) and his Companions (Allah be pleased with them all),          obviously mutual agreement between the relative parties would take place          before the actual Nikah ceremony.

Source: Are engagements classified as a sunnah?

88

I always wonder with phone nikah how can u be sure the girl has given consent if u can't even see her..

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Re: Nikkah without Rukhsati

mera eik sawal hai, mein apne shohar ko 3 saal se janthi hon.. ye humara 4th saal poora hone wala hai. divorcee hon aur eik bacha bhi hai mere saath. ye meri dosri shaadi hai.

mera masla yeh ke.. 2009 mein mere shohar se mili, aur jab humri pasand howi..thou eik ke baad unho ne aoni family se baat cheet ki aur 2010 mein 'mangni' ke liye razi kya.. kyunke iska mujese milna aur taluk bohut tha tho meri family ne 'Nikah' ke liye zor dala aur inho ne 2011 (pore 13 mahine ke baad) nikah kya mujse.
abh meri family kabse rukhsathi chah rahi hai par har waqt..ye logh thal rahe hain.. nikah ke waqt mere shohar ne 1 saal manga tha aur kaha ke akele saal ke end me Insha Allah rukhsati kare ghe..

ab jab mere waledien pakistan se ayen hai koi date fix karne ke liye aye.. aur acha hasa time pehle bataya bhi ke hum sab arahe hain..is kaam ke liye.. tho ladka aur uski family ab mau chapa rahe hai.. bahane bana rahe hai..

mere wald sahib ne ye thak damki di ke aghar aap humri beti ko uska haq nahi dena chathe to chordein.. tho shohar sahib yeh kaehke peeche hat raha hai ke meri ammi naraz hai.. mere biwi unke nakhre kyun nahi utha thi aur kabhi ye kabhi woh..

bohut thang karne ke baad abh keh rahe hai muje tho talaq nahi chaiye.. par thum logon ko chaye tho pls jao beshak..
ye sirf isliye thake hum haq mahr ka dawa nahi kare!! is liye woh talaq nahi de raha.. rahi baat naikah ke baad pore Eik tak woh biwi par apna haq bar poor leraha tha.. aur usse eik taraf se Islam aur Nikah ke baad apni biwi ke upar ke haq faida le liya!!

ab kehta hai mere pass paise nahi hain.. rukhsati dhoom damse karne ki..jo humra condiion nahi! unka condition hai.. Is waqt woh amni maa aur behen ke saat rahtha hai aur bara bhai bhi hai par kaam ki waja se woh dosre shehr mein rehtha hai..
dosra bhai bara bhi hai aur thankwa bhi zyada kama tha hai.. par maa ki hidmat or sab kuch mere shohr pe dhala hai!

aur ab mere saas jin ka 2 bedroon ka ghar hai..rukhsati ke baad 3-4 bedroom ka flat ya ghar mangh rahi hai.. mere shohr yeh sab kharcha dekh kar dar rahe hain aur muje na sirf fazool latka rahe hai but mera haq hai ke woh muje apne ghar le jaye aur hayal rake..usse muje door rak rahe hai.. par woh apna haq as a shohar demand karthe hain!

Is waqt..woh kehthe hai mein tayyar nahi..mere pass paise nahi..mere maa naraz hai.. ye.. woh.. falana dimkana.. muje 1 saal aur do.. uske baad dekhthe hain kuch fix karne ke liye.. lekin eik time aur izzat nahi derahe.. aur ye bhi kaha..ke ye manzoor nahi.. aap free ho jo karna hai aapne karo..

mere walid aur walda bohut mayos hain aur mere shohar ka keh rahe ke woh ab itna tang karaha hai.. aghe ja kar tho thum aoni maa ke haathon bohut zaleel karegha.. aur isse acha hai talaq ya khula le lo..

humre jitne bhi azziz ya dost hai.. mere bhaiyon ke samet.. sab ka rai ye hai ke ye logh hamesha mere kamzori (yani divorcee hona ) ki waja se muje zaleel aur khawar karen ghe.. :(

mein kya kar sakthi hon? muje dar ye bhi hai ke aghar force kya jai..thou muje aur mere bete ko le jain ke apne ghar aur bohut zaleel kareinghe
:((

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Re: Nikkah without Rukhsati

^ My heart goes out to you. Aapki situation bohot mushkil hai. Aap akeli reh rahi hain? Does he pay for your expenses etc? He does know that islamically you ARE married. Nikkah is not engagement, it's actually getting married .. uske bahane sun ke all I can say is that I agree with your family ..

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holy crap that was tough to read.

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Re: Nikkah without Rukhsati

Woh apna shohar ka haq laytein hai - aur miyan-biwi ka rishta hay aap kay beech mein hay, lekin rukhsati nahin huwi hai? Rukhsati ki zaroorat hi kya hai ab?

Wo shaqs aap ka istemaal kar raha hai. Ya to woh aap ko apnay ghar lay ayay, ya woh aap ko alag kardein.

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oh and I want to add to this: everyone throws their opinion at you, calling your actions stupid, fazool, whatever. all the while not knowing (or not caring) that you already doubt yourself and feel like crap too over the choices made.

:shikra:

and can someone translate that story? :frowning:

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Re: Nikkah without Rukhsati

razsultan u need to take him to court, he is an arse, better get rid of him as early as possible.

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Re: Nikkah without Rukhsati

**Translation:

**I have a question...I know my husband for 3 years. This will be our fourth year together. I am a divorcee and I have a child. This is my second marriage.

My problem is...I met my husband in 2009 and since we liked each other, he managed to convince his family and in 2010 his family agreed to our engagement. Because him and I spent a lot of time together, my family insisted that we get our Nikkah. In 2011 (after 13 months) we got our Nikkah done.
Now my family wants the rhuksathi to happen but his family keeps making excuses and trying to delay it. At the time our Nikkah, my husband had asked for 1 year before we would get our rhuksati done.

Now when my parents came from a Pakistan to fix a date (they had iinformed them in advance that they would be coming to fix a date), the guy and his family kept making excuses.

My father threatened that if my husband and his family would not give his daughter her right then it's best to leave us. My husband responded by saying how his mother is angry because his wife doesn't cater to her whims etc.

Now after constant pestering, they (husband and his family) now say they don't want a divorce but if you guys want a divorce then go ahead.

They're only saying this so that we don't complain about haq-e-mahr. That's why he won't divorce me. And after Nikkah...pore Eik tak woh biwi par apna haq bar poor leraha tha.. aur usse eik taraf se Islam aur Nikah ke baad apni biwi ke upar ke haq faida le liya!! (*I dunno what this line means)*

Now he says he doesn't have money. We'll have a grand rhukhsati. (which is not my condition, it's his and his family's condition)

Right now he lives with his mother and sister and elder brother but he lives in another city because of work. The elder brother makes a better salary than my husband but the brother does not help or care for his mother at all. All of this he's left for his younger brother to do.

My MIL, who has a 2-bedroom home is now asking for a 3-4 bedroom flat or house . My husband is afraid after looking at all the costs that he's going to have to cover. My husband keeps delaying all this but it's my right to have him bring me to his home and take care of me. Despite this, he demands his own right as a husband.

At this time he says, I'm not ready. I don't have money. My mother is angry. This...that...Give me one more year...after that we'll try to fix a date.

He won't give me time nor honour. He's also said that if I'm not okay with this, I'm free to do whatever.

My parents are very sad and troubled by this and say that if my husband is like this now...once you marry him he'll let you be humiliated at the hands of his mother. It's better if you get a divorce or khula now.

All of my close friends say that this family will treat you poorly because of your weakness (being a divorcee). What can I do? I'm also afraid that if I focr them, they'll take me and my son to their home and treat us poorly.

*;TLDR Divorcee woman gets Nikkah done with man. Over a year has passed by and the man and his family won't let rhuksati happen.

*Apologies for any errors in translation.

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Oh... Well then.

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Well on a serious note, I am super against this. Poor razsultan is the prime reason why.

Long nikkahs and mangnis, almost always, lead to unnecessary problems and conflicts.

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I might be the insane one who would like a short period of Nikkah without rukhsati.

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I know of a few couples who've had their nikah then moved in together.. No problems at all but then again their families treated them as if they were properly married and not just engaged or at some inbetween stage..

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That's what we had. It was a visa issue though. The only regret I have is I played a bit too much by the phony restrictions our culture puts on it. I wish I would have defied that more openly.