nikkah or no nikkah?

Salaam everyone,
I have a question for all you religion experts there…
Last weekend I went to a shaadi, and the molvi ji confused me… you guys know how in islam we always ask kabool three times cus religiously they want everyone to hear loud and clear the married couple acknowledging that they are not being pressured? This moulvi ji didnt do that…he came and said do u realize that by signing these papers you will be his wife? Is there any pressure? and that was it…no dua no nothing…are they married? IS this right?

what do u guys think?

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larna hai? Lets take this outside…!
=)

Modren molvi I must say

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or is he too modern next thing you know that he will say “and now you may kiss the bride”!

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some people

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!!!

[This message has been edited by Desert fox (edited October 02, 2000).]

Its quite possible that the molvi had already previousley asked the bride/groom.

I've seen similar situations. At one wedding, they didn't ask the bride (everyone was confused) but we later found out he had already went and asked her privately. A large gathering situation may make a girl or guy feel pressured to say yes. Privately they still have a chance to back out for whatever genuine reason.

In my village wedding ceremonies (Muslim), there is no such concept of a Molvi going to girl and asking. Usually, it is an elder member of the family, commonly, an older Uncle who goes to the Bride and asks her consent, and only once (not 3 times). Molvi asks the Bridegroom only once also. I am not aware of 3 times asking concept.

“You may kiss the bride”????

how about

“Chumi Chata ki Ijazat hey”..

NY there is def that asking three times ritual... and desert, i thought the same thing you did. I asked the bride (my bestes friend) and she is just as worried as I am...


larna hai? Lets take this outside...!
=)

madam bahen, aap apnee dost sey bolein key wo dobara nikah parhwa lein. agar phir bhee kosh na hoon, to eik baar phir parhwa lein. jab tak dil ko tasallee na hoon, shaadi kartee rahen, kartee rahein, kartee rahein.

aapka bhai,
aapka khadim,
azam.

that wasnt funny

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arey behna aap ghussey na hoon. hum ney aapko faqat eik tajweez pesh kee thee, apko ikhtiar hay key mustarad kardein. arey yaad aaya, 'ikhtiar' naam kee abhee tak koee movie nahee banee hay, nikah naam kee to shayad ban chukee hay.

acha, madam behna, ab tum jao jakar luddo khelo, hum thoree cricket kail lein.

whats wrong with kissing your wife?

But the molvi saying now you may kiss the bride. In front of all the people! In bedroom or when they are alone yes you can kiss your wife until you give her gum decay!
think about the scene your granny fainting,
baatien bigarna, the millions of times you here astaghfirrulla and the basity of molvi saab!

madam behna,
aapkee sahelee key liyay eik aur mashwara hay, aur wo bhee bilkul muft. unsey bolein key ab shaadi kee fikar chorein, aur bachon kee planning shoruu kardein. arz kiya hay key,
ab kiya rona rona hay
?????????????????????
(baqee aap ko khud yaad hoga)

This is an interesting situation described by Maria, although I think it is quite common. I have myself attended many marriages where the question was asked only once (though I think, asking three (3) times is Sunnah and Masnoon (recommended)). However the wordings used by the moulvi to ask the girl were quite wierd. I agree with NYAhmadi that usually it is a family member, uncle etc, who goes to the bride, instead of the moulvi. The recommended words to be used are:

"(Bride's name) daughter of (her father's name) ka nikah (groom's name) son of (groom's father's name), ba'iwz (description of haq mehar) kay saath tai paya hai. Aap ko qabool hai"?

ba'iwz - means "for the value". It is masnoon (recommended) that the amount of mehar be given to the bride before the marriage is consummated, although any other sort of agreement for payment of mehar is also allowed, by agreement of both the parties. Popular kinds are "Mu'ajal", "Ghair Mu'ajal" and "Indat-talab" (On demand).

The same wordings are used for both bride and the groom. However the acceptance of bride is usually not on the main stage, in Pakistani custom. In some families, the bride has to clearly say the words "Qabool hai", and in some others, if she merely nods her head, it is considered sufficient. The groom, however, has to clearly say the words "Qabool hai" (I Accept). Usually, the groom is not allowed to say "Yes" or to nod his head in affirmation, unless of course he has a physically challenging health problem.

Signing the Nikahnama, also called Document of Marriage is a legal requirement as per Family Laws of 1962 applicable in Pakistan.

Leading dua for the newly married couple is also masnoon and sunnah, although it can not be categorized as fard, or mandatory. It is, however, highly unusual not to offer dua after Nikah. Although it is highly possible, that the dua is offered after the groom has also accepted the nikah and has signed the papers. You must note that the acceptance of bride is taken first and acceptance from the groom is taken afterwards, so dua is usually offered after the nikah is COMPLETE!

In any case, if both the bride and the groom signed the nikahnama and there were proper witnesses to the act, then there is no reason to doubt that they are married and it is alright.

Adios!

A note for Azam:

I love Urdu as much as you do, but to write Romanized Urdu (urdu words using english alphabets) is a torture for most readers. If you mix a few words here and there or to offer a shair (verse) to spice up your post, they are fine, but to write complete paras in Romanized Urdu makes it awfully hard to read. However, if one day, this website or some other offer the facility of Urdu fonts, then may be we can have a "baitbazi" competition!

Adios!

Nikkah is Nikkah Maria
no matter what way it occurs
if the girl and the boy are ok with their marriage then who cares if the maulvi uncle asked twice or forty times
in their hearts they accept each other as their soulmate and get married
qissa finished

you can do a full fledged nikkah ceremony with a moulvi and teen times qabool in a forced marriage ....
does it mean that they got legally married
Hell no!

pristine…thank you, you answer made the most sense..

anchal, jaanu ji I agree with you whole heartedly about the meetingof hearts stuff, lekin just as important as that is, is doing things right in the eyes of islam. If we rely soley on our hearts meeting then people would start living together out of wed lock. This my dear, cheapens and weakens thier love(or atleast I think). Meray kiyal sey the day myhusband married me, he said to the world that yes i love this girl dearly and enough to make her my wife in front of the whole world. I must admit after that day, all his friends and family didnt see me as a girlfriend but respected me as his wife…hugeeeeeeeeee difference. Sorry if I sound like I’m lecturing.

p.s. jaab apki shaadi ho gee you’ll understand…

naraaz maath hona…

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larna hai? Lets take this outside…!
=)

The marriage contract is made simply by a commitment and an acceptance. The guardian of the bride commits himself to marrying her to the bridegroom if the agreed conditions are met, and the bridegroom accepts that commitment which means that he is prepared to honour those conditions. The contract, which is witnessed at least by two persons, is sufficient. However, publicity of the marriage is desirable.

in my opinion you dont even need a maulvi to get married. required conditions are only your and your partners acceptance and bless of the God. everything else is nothing than "ceremony". and now enjoy it..

Jat sahib:

While I would love to take your simplistic definition, there are a couple of points, which hold me back

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  1. Definitely no need to have moulvi. You only need two witnesses.
  2. Wouldn’t it be a generally swell idea to let people know that you have married (publicize it), otherwise, if you are in Pakistan, you are inviting trouble!

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Moulvi-power

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and Gossip-power!

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Adios!

Arey yar jatsaheb

:bakbak: na karo. If you don’t call the maulvi, they will go

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in

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and call you

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Arey yar jatsaheb

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na karo. If you don’t call the maulvi, they will go

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in

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and call you

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