We’re trying to keep everything halal and not give aunties a reason to talk so elders wanna do nikkah at the mehndi …anyone have experience with this? How did you/the couple do it? I have those red jaali dupattas that I was GONNA wear for the wedding but now maybe I should come out in the mehndihall with that, do the nikkah, take that off and do the mehndi rasam? My outfit is still gonna be typical mehndi attire (yellow + chattapatti + flower jewelry + minimal makeup).
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
Yes, we did it. Called a Nikah Khawan who did Nikah and filled paper work.
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
I haven't seen an event where the nikkah takes place at the actual mehndi but in my hubby's family the nikkah is done on the same day as the mehndi - during the day etc and then the mehndi is in the evening. That way the couple can sit with one another etc without raising eyebrows but at the same time the mehndi celebrations are confined to just that- mehndi celebrations. You could always have the nikkah even a couple of months beforehand which is what we did- purely for the sake of being able to see one another, go out, etc. However, if this doesn't appeal to you I would say do it the same day as the mehndi.
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
I know a lot of people who did nikah beforehand but not on the actual mehndi day.. I don't think it really matters though if it's the same day or before.. Each to their own..
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
Most nikkah here are done at the same time as the mehndi. It's actually quite hilarious to watch the dj turn on the music the second people start hugging each other.
Groom party enters the mehndi venue. Then the nikkah is announced. Bride is elsewhere. Moulvi takes signatures from both sides. People hug. Dj goes wild. Then the bride enters. There's people who do instant photos shoots so sometimes bride and groom disappear for a while.
If you're not worried about ugly weeping or touching up your makeup after tears then you guys could sit together and then do the nikkah. Can't you use the dupatta as the thingy people bring the bride under?
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
Oh sounds Interesting....Never heard of it before!!! which actually makes sense now that I think of it
Things we find out :)
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
I haven't seen an event where the nikkah takes place at the actual mehndi but in my hubby's family the nikkah is done on the same day as the mehndi - during the day etc and then the mehndi is in the evening. That way the couple can sit with one another etc without raising eyebrows but at the same time the mehndi celebrations are confined to just that- mehndi celebrations. You could always have the nikkah even a couple of months beforehand which is what we did- purely for the sake of being able to see one another, go out, etc. However, if this doesn't appeal to you I would say do it the same day as the mehndi.
our 2 options are either doing it at the wedding or doing it at the mehndi. I initially wanted it at the wedding because well...that's the wedding but our elders are making a fuss about keeping it halal (and I see their point). I had my timeline set up so we got the nikkah done before maghrib so that we could take pictures as a couple but our photographer said that it's a waste of money to not utilize the outdoor area as much as possible and to just do the nikkah during the mehndi to stop everyone from complaining about the halal-ness. Because of $$, doing another nikkah event earlier is going to be too much so we decided we'd do it during the nikkah.
So far, I think we're gonna do it where I come out on stage with the red jaali dupatta over my face and sit on stage , do the nikkah, take the dupatta off and then have the mehndi hungama start. We'd just have our select few guests come an hour earlier than we invite everyone (which won't be too hard since everyone functions on Desi Standard Time). It's not the way I envisioned it but...oh well.
Most nikkah here are done at the same time as the mehndi. It's actually quite hilarious to watch the dj turn on the music the second people start hugging each other.
Groom party enters the mehndi venue. Then the nikkah is announced. Bride is elsewhere. Moulvi takes signatures from both sides. People hug. Dj goes wild. Then the bride enters. There's people who do instant photos shoots so sometimes bride and groom disappear for a while.
If you're not worried about ugly weeping or touching up your makeup after tears then you guys could sit together and then do the nikkah. Can't you use the dupatta as the thingy people bring the bride under?
Yeah ugly weeping/makeup DOES worry me a bit but I'm getting very minimal makeup/no jewelry for the mehndi so I figured it'd be better than crying off my $500 makeup at the actual wedding lol. I'm just debating if I should make my entrance pre-nikkah or post-nikkah.
for people that did the nikkah at the mehndi, how did they walk in for the mehndi? With their friends holding the dupatta over their head? With their parents? And how was their wedding? Did they walk in with their family or their husband at the wedding? I could potentially do the ghoongat that day but we wanted to do a first look and it'd be odd to walk in with a veil after we just spent 3 hours taking pics together.
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
Yeah ugly weeping/makeup DOES worry me a bit but I'm getting very minimal makeup/no jewelry for the mehndi so I figured it'd be better than crying off my $500 makeup at the actual wedding lol. I'm just debating if I should make my entrance pre-nikkah or post-nikkah.
for people that did the nikkah at the mehndi, how did they walk in for the mehndi? With their friends holding the dupatta over their head? With their parents? And how was their wedding? Did they walk in with their family or their husband at the wedding? I could potentially do the ghoongat that day but we wanted to do a first look and it'd be odd to walk in with a veil after we just spent 3 hours taking pics together.
The makeup thing is mostly a caution for future pics because if the nikkah is in the mehndi venue you'll have to continue with racoon face for rest of the mehndi pictures because you won't have the privacy to Retouch. The entrance thing depends on who's available. Like if you have tons of male cousins they bring in the bride, same for females. If you have one or two siblings then the parents come in with family other leave the sibs behind. Just depends on your family and remember to keep the entrance distinct from the wedding. And the veil thing is fine. It's not awkward to do the ghoongat after the shoot.
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
I've seen a nikkah done at the mehndi. Groom entered, family sat on stage. Bride was in another room with her parents, documents were signed and they were married. There was time then for the groom's family to hug and cry but not long after the bride entered in with her cousin's carrying dupatta over her.
After that, it was a run of the mill mehndi.
I do like the idea of the red ghoongat, and sitting on stage together for the nikkah though. But there are a thousand different ways to do this!
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
The makeup thing is mostly a caution for future pics because if the nikkah is in the mehndi venue you'll have to continue with racoon face for rest of the mehndi pictures because you won't have the privacy to Retouch. The entrance thing depends on who's available. Like if you have tons of male cousins they bring in the bride, same for females. If you have one or two siblings then the parents come in with family other leave the sibs behind. Just depends on your family and remember to keep the entrance distinct from the wedding. And the veil thing is fine. It's not awkward to do the ghoongat after the shoot.
I've seen a nikkah done at the mehndi. Groom entered, family sat on stage. Bride was in another room with her parents, documents were signed and they were married. There was time then for the groom's family to hug and cry but not long after the bride entered in with her cousin's carrying dupatta over her.
After that, it was a run of the mill mehndi.
I do like the idea of the red ghoongat, and sitting on stage together for the nikkah though. But there are a thousand different ways to do this!
Yep, I like the nikkah done with both people on stage; it just seems nicer to me. I'm gonna push for that. And do the red ghoonghat. I guess I can walk in with the dupatta over my head with my friends for that entrance OR just do the nikkah with our select guests. Everyone goes and cries and prays maghrib while I do the same/touch up my makeup/do a photoshoot with my husband, etc and then re-enter with the typical mehndi entrance once ALL the guests arrive...
If we do the nikkah when the guests all get here, I can just skip the 2nd entrance and do the typical mehndi entrance for the nikkah one too with just a ghoonghat over my face when I enter.
Nikkah on Mehndi day
I’ve always heard/been told that the whole point of the nikkah is to announce/solemnize the union in public in front of as many people as possible,so in my family, the nikkah is not done on the mehndi or any other day or even earlier in the day/morning. We actually do not even believe in nikkah without ruhksati right away, so these always take place on the same day. The bride and groom are always seated together on the stage side by side for the nikkah.
And my ghoongat was a beautiful soft/dull gold to match my maroon bridal dress 
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
I have seen the nikah happen on the same day as the mehndi...in the daytime. Mehndi in the evening.
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
Most nikkah here are done at the same time as the mehndi. It's actually quite hilarious to watch the dj turn on the music the second people start hugging each other.
Groom party enters the mehndi venue. Then the nikkah is announced. Bride is elsewhere. Moulvi takes signatures from both sides. People hug. Dj goes wild. Then the bride enters. There's people who do instant photos shoots so sometimes bride and groom disappear for a while.
If you're not worried about ugly weeping or touching up your makeup after tears then you guys could sit together and then do the nikkah. Can't you use the dupatta as the thingy people bring the bride under?
where are you located? us? or pakistan?
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
where are you located? us? or pakistan?
Pakistan although what I told is my family's norm. My friends and class fellows are definitely going slightly OTT and doing separate nikkahs at scenic places days before the wedding and 90% is devoted to photoshoots. That way will only bug the aunty brigade and kill budgets.
Nikkah on Mehndi day
Whats the gap between your mehndi and wedding? A day or so? If its a few weeks i would understand but where you waited this long to make it halal will another day matter?
You could sit seperate have the nikaah and then make your mehndi entrance as normal or sit in ghoonghat and then take it off once its done and you both can sit together
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
On my mehndi we sat with my little nephew between us.
I don't like the idea of having nikah and ruksati on separate days. Which day would you use to celebrate in the future? I like to remember my nikah as he day our marriage started and that's when our life together started.
But it is common to do it beforehand so you can make it halal to get to know each other and go out. But yours is close to your actual ruksati anyway so does it make a difference.
My sister had her nikah done 6 months before her ruksati and she celebrates her nikah as wedding anniversary as that's what it is on paper.
If you do decide to go ahead with it then I would do the nikah in separate rooms, then come in with sisters/ friends or male relatives under dupatta wearing your veil. Then take it off when you sit down. I have seen girls wearing veil throughout the whole event. Or what I have seen is coming in on a doli and this would suit well as its your nikah day.
If you have enough make relatives walk in with them and have the girls line up and make a walk way. There r plenty of ways to do it. I came in holding my nephews hands and my sisters n cousins holding dupatta n I had a walkway lined with diyas.
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
Pakistan although what I told is my family's norm. My friends and class fellows are definitely going slightly OTT and doing separate nikkahs at scenic places days before the wedding and 90% is devoted to photoshoots. That way will only bug the aunty brigade and kill budgets.
Most people do it that way here too but we don't have very much time and trying to run from the masjid to the mehndi venue will be a hassle for us. Also, it's a lot more money because I'd need another outfit, we'd have to book the masjid, and I'd have to hire a photographer. Not worth it.
Whats the gap between your mehndi and wedding? A day or so? If its a few weeks i would understand but where you waited this long to make it halal will another day matter?
You could sit seperate have the nikaah and then make your mehndi entrance as normal or sit in ghoonghat and then take it off once its done and you both can sit together
On my mehndi we sat with my little nephew between us.
I don't like the idea of having nikah and ruksati on separate days. Which day would you use to celebrate in the future? I like to remember my nikah as he day our marriage started and that's when our life together started.
But it is common to do it beforehand so you can make it halal to get to know each other and go out. But yours is close to your actual ruksati anyway so does it make a difference.
My sister had her nikah done 6 months before her ruksati and she celebrates her nikah as wedding anniversary as that's what it is on paper.
If you do decide to go ahead with it then I would do the nikah in separate rooms, then come in with sisters/ friends or male relatives under dupatta wearing your veil. Then take it off when you sit down. I have seen girls wearing veil throughout the whole event. Or what I have seen is coming in on a doli and this would suit well as its your nikah day.
If you have enough make relatives walk in with them and have the girls line up and make a walk way. There r plenty of ways to do it. I came in holding my nephews hands and my sisters n cousins holding dupatta n I had a walkway lined with diyas.
So the religious argument isn't the primary one. What happened is that I had planned to have my nikkah before dark on the shaadi day and then have a photoshoot with my then-husband during dinner. Well, when I went and talked to the photographer and a lot of other vendors, everyone said that my venue is gorgeous IF you utilize the outside area. The photographer straight up said that I'm wasting my money if I wait till after the nikkah to do the pics since desi people are ALWAYS late and there's a very good chance it'll be after dark by the time we finally get around to doing couple's shots. Doing a couple photoshoot is out of the question until we're nikkahfied; no one from either side of the family will be okay with it.
When we explained that to the photographer, he told us that that's happened a few times and what he usually suggests is for the couple to do the nikkah either at the mehndi or like an hour before the mehndi. This saves times/money/planning because you dont' have to pay him more to come and shoot the nikkah, you don't need a nikkah venue, and you don't need a nikkah outfit. You can invite everyone you want at the nikkah an hour earlier to the venue, do the nikkah and then when the other guests come, just proceed with the nikkah like normal.
That's actually how it's done in Pakistan on both sides of the family--we don't sit with the groom until our nikkah is done. Usually, the girl is in a room and signs the papers in there while the boy sits on stage. Then the girl comes in under a dupatta and sits down and they do the mehndi rasams like normal. I just haven't seen it done here. AND I want to sit on stage for the nikkah so not sure how that would work.
Do I come out with no music and do a nikkah on stage and then exit after the crying/hugging...do photoshoot with hubs and then have a full-out mehndi entrance when all the other guests arrive or just wait and do the mehndi entrance, sit on stage, do the nikkah, and then just get started with the rasams. We have people on my in laws side that frown on mehndis but they need to be present for the nikkah so that complicates matters as well.
UGHHHH.
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
@somegroovychick , I remember you saying something about your brother's nikkah being held at the Mehndi. How did that go down (if you don't mind me asking) and how was it received? Was there a reason you did it this way?
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
It isn't that complicated! Any one of the many suggestions listed above can be used. No one will bat an eyelid. Do it however it suits you.
Re: Nikkah on Mehndi day
i have attended a few events where mehndi event starts right after the nikkah. But most people do have a gap of no-music or food or mehndi rasms before the whole song/dance/dj of mehndi.