Nikkah Now and Marriage later ?

[Slickstar]

Re: Nikkah Now and Marriage later ?

Pakilass is gone guys.

[S02]

Re: Nikkah Now and Marriage later ?

Tho religiously it is totally allowed to do nikkah first and ruksati later, it is often complicated culturally. Many people worry about the couple being alone after nikkah, or even sitting together in a public gathering like a dawat, for fear of what others will say. As others have said, the couple is Islamically married, and therefore a lot of behavior is now halal for them. However, culturally many things are still forbidden, which may cause more talk and gossip.

[Pakilarka]

Re: Nikkah Now and Marriage later ?

Shukar hai Religous discussion khatam hoi.....

I also wanned the social perspective of doing rukhsati after few months of Nikah.

1. Is it a good idea ? what are pro and cons of doing nikah and giving rukhsati an year.

2. Did any of you guppies go through this situation ?

3.Did u at times feel like u shld have done Rukhsati rite away ?

1. Do you have to financially support ur wife after nikah and before rukhsati ?

2. Would both gals and guys parents find it okay if the couple hung out together ?

3. Did you guys find it hard to give enough to time to ur wife/ husband for reasons like education/ carrier !

and something Related if u wana add....

Thanks alot

[PhatBalongri]

@Aisha Dubaiwali

LOL some people have nikkahs that last for 5 6 7 years before they actually get married married and have rukhsati. It’s pretty common and Islamically she is your wife once you get the nikkah done so yes you can meet with her.

I don’t think there is anything worth "LOL"ing about it.

@Pakilarka

So you mean, they can publically see each other after nikkah, Sweeet, i thought u cant meet before rukhsati.

WOW!

@Little Princess

as everyone said Nikaah is Marriage.
After that she is your wife.

Personally I would want the nikaah & Rukhsati on the same day .
I mean Why delay it ? :aq:
You want her as your wife then just take her there & then.
ye 6 months ya 1 year ka wait kiss khushi mai ?

Because some people have ISSUES. I.e. financial, both partners families not in the same country, other family issues.

@pakilass

wow there is great confusion about this whole Nikkah business well Islamically speaking Nikkah does not in any way give you a license to have sex it only means that there has been a commitment until there is an actual ruksati in front of people and Walima it is not legal as such.

Walima is one of the most important parts of a marriage in Islam this is because it is to acknowledge the consummation of the marriage. This is why the Walima and ruksati are held close together.

In Islam walima is so important to acknowledge the relationship that if you cannot afford to do a walima reception then I’m not exact on number but around 60 people should come with their own food.

People that think that Nikkah is a license to sex are very much mistaken because then there is no purpose to the formal side of the marriage such as the ruksati and the walima. I know people that have used it as a open access thing but their parents do not know. These people have such little knowledge of Islam it is ridiculous instead of consulting a learned Islamic scholar they just make up stuff without grasping anything.

Agaian, WOW. And now I am wondering why you are so bitter. So should a couple go and discuss sex with parents after the rukhsati? If you dont do it after rukhsati than why should you do announce it to the world before rukhsati?

@pakilass

cricketplayer this is exactly what is being discussed the whole Nikkah and then after a certain amount of time the ruksati and walima and the stuff that happens while then.

In relation to the Ahadith that you ask of me I am in the same situation but I did not read this in any book written by so called mullahs i.e. Pakistani mullah who I believe are not even in the very least able to call themselves scholars of Islam.

Anyways we will all find out what’s true in the next world so best of luck to everyone but I know that I would rather be safe than sorry.

And I would like it to be known that no one actually grasped what I was saying now that just shows me that you all aren’t intelligent enough for such a discussion. Picking a certain point rather than understanding the concept of what I was saying. This is best shown with all the quotations taken out of context from the passages I have written. Oh well.

You sound like the people you despise, you haven’t provided a single evidance for your claim.

@Pakilarka

Okay guys i was willing to know if Islam Recognizes Nikah (without rukhsati) … No i am not intrested in finding out whether one can have sex after nikah and before Rukhasti…

I guess i have got my answer, Yes it is religiously permissible to do nikah and not do rukhsati rite away.

---

Now i want the social perspective of doing rukhsati after few months of Nikah.

1. Is it a good idea ? what are pro and cons of doing nikah and giving rukhsati an year.

A few months shouldn’t be bad but if you are taking years, its different.
Pros - you have more time to prepare, more time to get to know the other person without doing anything haram, and just this comfortableness and bond that can’t occur before marriage.
Cons - complicated situation, just look at people arguing about sex and thats just one aspect of the marriage, now think about all the situations with in-laws, are you going to provide for her financially because technically she is your wife, who is gonna send the eid clothes, etc etc, I know they sound like small issues but they can be blown out of porportion and they are.

2. Did any of you guppies go through this situation ?
   Yes, for the past two years expecting to go for another two.

3.Did u at times feel like u shld have done Rukhsati rite away ?
Yeah sometimes but at the same time I feel whatever happens is for the best.

4. Do you have to financially support ur wife after nikah and before rukhsati ?
   I work so right now, no. Also I live with family so I dont need much right now but he would def pay for some stuff if my family couldnt afford it.

5. Would both gals and guys parents find it okay if the couple hung out together ?
   Yes, most of the times. But sometimes my parents are uncomfortable when we are alone in the basement till 2 am. Again, things liek that make it complicated. Where do you draw the line? We might just be hanging out watching tv but theres no stopping anyones imagination.

6. Did you guys find it hard to give enough to time to ur wife/ husband for reasons like education/ carrier !
   and other questions if u have any in mind

This depends on the couple, career, etc etc. I think this is a issue that will be there even after you move in together.

Thanks alot

[Pakilarka]

Re: Nikkah Now and Marriage later ?

^ I read ur other thread yesterday.. i felt so bad that didnt even feel like Replying. I mostly cant share my problems with others so things do hit me harder and in ur case the the separation with ur dad is already hard enough. If u dont share it will be unbearable. I cant recommend anything.... Just hope Allah gives u strength and makes u stronger. I really really felt it while reading ur post. Again all i can do i pray for u... Ramzan is here Inshallah our duas will be granted. He only tests those who r strong enough to go through trouble. So be Strong Inshallah you will learn to take care of what he did or you.
Think abt ur mom.... u r her stregth now, u cant afford being weak.

[Sara516]

@pakilass

And I would like it to be known that no one actually grasped what I was saying now that just shows me that y*ou all aren’t intelligent enough for such a discussion.* Picking a certain point rather than understanding the concept of what I was saying. This is best shown with all the quotations taken out of context from the passages I have written. Oh well.

I'm sorry we aren't intelligent enough for you, ms. llbean. perhaps if your post wasn't so full of arrogance we could better understand you :)

@Pakilarka

Okay guys i was willing to know if Islam Recognizes Nikah (without rukhsati) .... No i am not intrested in finding out whether one can have sex after nikah and before Rukhasti....

I guess i have got my answer, Yes it is religiously permissible to do nikah and not do rukhsati rite away.

---

Now i want the social perspective of doing rukhsati after few months of Nikah. 1. Is it a good idea ? what are pro and cons of doing nikah and giving rukhsati an year. 2. Did any of you guppies go through this situation ? 3.Did u at times feel like u shld have done Rukhsati rite away ? 4. Do you have to financially support ur wife after nikah and before rukhsati ? 5. Would both gals and guys parents find it okay if the couple hung out together ? 6. Did you guys find it hard to give enough to time to ur wife/ husband for reasons like education/ carrier ! and other questions if u have any in mind

Thanks alot

1. pro, u get to spend time wtih the person..get to know them...save up fi financial situation isn't the best. cons, it mayb e a waste of time/money esp when all the parties are scattered across the globe. i used to think of it this way, a nikkah only w/o rukhsati is like a halal boyfriend/girlfriend :D
   Alot of times, the nikkah/ delayed rukhsati is done when the couple lives in diferent countries and they need to invite the spouse and go through immigration.

2. no i didn't, but i know many people who did...

3. sometimes i wish ours had been seperate, but in a way it was. We had nikkah/rukhsati everything, but weren't living together until after some time. i guess the "rukhsati" part confused everyone but oh well.

4. i dont know if there's a "must" to it. i guess it's up to the couple.

5. That depends on the couple and their families. But to not let them meet is counterproductive to the point of a nikkah i think.

@shab786

pakilass I understand what u r trying to say.

people should just have a nikkah, valima and then rukhsati all in one go, cause it would stop all this confusion, imagine whats gonna happen in the future, nikkah then babies and then valima its all a little to much I think!!!

See this is the thing. if you have a nikkah and a delayed rukhsati, you're doing it out of respect for your culture (or your parents, whatever). Culturally, if you are delaying living together for whatever reasons, then respect your culture again by not having sex before the rukhsati. Othrewise why are you waiting so long to live together?

[system]

@Slickstar

Nikah gives you permission to make passionate love. Know one can look down on you for wanting to have sex.

very immature thinking, Try to broad your mind ..

[PhatBalongri]

@Pakilarka

^ I read ur other thread yesterday.. i felt so bad that didnt even feel like Replying. I mostly cant share my problems with others so things do hit me harder and in ur case the the separation with ur dad is already hard enough. If u dont share it will be unbearable. I cant recommend anything.... Just hope Allah gives u strength and makes u stronger. I really really felt it while reading ur post. Again all i can do i pray for u... Ramzan is here Inshallah our duas will be granted. He only tests those who r strong enough to go through trouble. So be Strong Inshallah you will learn to take care of what he did or you. Think abt ur mom.... u r her stregth now, u cant afford being weak.

Thanks. Its okay, I am avoiding my own thoughts too, weird i know. He is leaving monday and as the day is coming closer its getting more and more unbearable. The only thing holding me together is rememberance of Allah. Please keep me in your duas.