Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?
nuttela : 8 years and still some more waiting & here v have brides complaining of waiting 1 year for marriage. I hope they r now happy n live in peace with each other's families.
Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?
That is just plain stupid.
Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?
i dont think a forum is the best place to get an answer for this to be honest, because too many opinions and too many people following different sects of islam
my advice would be to go to ur local Imam whom you trust, and get advice plus Allah knows best :)
Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?
^ I agree with above comment, Majesty. If you're getting more confused then it's best you contact your local Imam of the local Masjid you and your family follow.
Like I said earlier, there are different views on whether or not parent's permission is required. But my personal opinion is to never get married w/o your parents permission. Parents are your parents. They will always want what's best for you...they may not see eye to eye with you all the time and they may not agree with you right away, but if your patient with them and give them time I'm sure things will work out the way you want them to. I know of two different people who secretly married and both marriages ended up in divorce. I'm not saying that happens to everyone, but it's just an example. I know some people's parents can be irrational when not allowing their child to marry someone of their choice, but I don't think marrying the "love of your life" is worth hurting the people who gave birth to you and raised you. I mean it's because of THEM you even have the ability to meet someone and end up liking or loving them. My fiance and I haven't had a perfect journey to get to where we are today(four long and hard years later), but we're glad we were patient and had faith in Allah. It's definitely paying off now. Just my 2 cents.
Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?
So what happens if parents don't allow you meet your husband alone after nikkah* (before rukhsati)? *There are many many such cases because culturally the taboo aspect does exist in many families.
Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?
^^ so? i dont really get this at all 
like eventually u are going to spend the rest of your life with your partner, a little while longer respecting your family’s wishes is NOT going to kill you.
plus in this day and age, i dont think there are any “heer ranjha” type settings…people are most probably going against their parents wills and meeting up with their bf,finaces,nikkahfied husbands…and not to mention phone, emails, facebook the Lot…
contradiction much?
Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?
I wonder if most couples would respect their parents' wishes or go behind their backs?
Regarding the no sex before rukhshati am pretty sure any imam bar the Pakistani/Indian/Bangladeshi ones are going to say 'go ahead, it's no problem.' It's only an issue in our culture so consequently it's the desi imams who reflect that in their views (same goes for issues such as living with inlaws).. As I said before tho if ppl choose to wait that shouldn't matter either..
Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?
i have understood your question, you wish to travel with your husband but not live with him yet. i dont think its possible as travelling together implies your staying at the same hotel. even if u get seperate rooms everyone will think you didnt.
Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?
The religious stance is that you are man and wife and no-one can stop you. The issue here is not what is allowed, but what is expected of you. So, if your parents are uncomfortable with the idea of you travelling together then you have two choices: you either have to take their feelings into consideration and wait until rukhsathi or you stick to two fingers up to the world and go ahead and travel together.
If you guys want to have the nikkah to have sex, then go ahead and and have sex (after nikkah) but you do not need to publicise it to the world. So no-one is the wiser and just give your parents the impression that you waited until the rukhsati.
Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?
Thanks for your comments everyone.
No, I don't want to have my nikkah done with him just so that we can have sex. No, I don't plan on eloping. No, I'm not going to have a secret nikkah. And no, I was not asking about the Islamic take on things because I KNOW that after nikkah, technically anything goes.
I merely wanted to comment on how weird/interesting it is that our culture still puts limitations on couples even after they have had nikkah (before rukhsati), that's all, and wanted to hear people's take and perspectives on the topic. I wanted to understand why our own families would not permit us to travel together even with nikkah but before rukhsati (in which case I'd rather just have my nikkah on the same day as the rukhsati now).
And yes, to some it may seem strange that I want to get married just to travel. Of course, that is not the only reason, but travel to me is a big deal. We cannot get married for at least two years because his family is dealing with a lot of other things right now. In the next two years I plan to visit a number of countries in my different parts of the world and I was just wishing that my best friend, my fiance could share in these amazing journeys with me.
That's why I started this thread. Just wishful thinking :)
Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?
^^ why dont u get a head start with your travels and then you can show him around once your married! Good Luck sista!