Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

Nikaah means that you guys are married so whatever you want to do is upto you and your husband. Forget culture as its really not important! Why do people have such a big emphasis on culture! Follow your religion if anything! If you're still unsure talk to a FAMILY member!

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

RaniPakistani, most have commented and also said similar things to what I said so I hope that things are more clear for you now.

If his or your family aren't okay with the Nikah before Ruksathi idea, try giving it time and re-visit the topic ever so often and who knows...they may eventually budge and accept. I've had a lot of friends in your situation and I've seen most of them get what they want in the end. If it's that important to you then stay persistent and don't give up...but don't get discouraged if things don't go through the first time you discuss it.

I feel like my fiance's family was a lot more "traditional" and "rigid" in certain things when we first met a few years ago, but they seem to have gotten so much more practical and flexible over time. Instead of creating drama then, my parents and I decided to keep quiet and just be patient. That patience has definitely paid off :) Things are happening much more smoothly now and we're both REALLY HAPPY, Alhamdullilah. So the saying is true, 'sabar ka pal meeta hota hai'...and if you ever have other questions we're here for ya. You or your fiance can PM me anytime you want.

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

You can do whatever you like after nikah, just don't get caught ;)

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

^^ LOL

To be honest, I think it would be really hard for me to have my nikkah done yet still have to live at home. As much as I wish I could spend more time with the fiance and travel with him and whatnot, ultimately getting my nikkah done ahead of time is not really the best option for me. It's something I consider when I feel especially frustrated and really wish things could move along and we can hurry up and get married, but at the end of the day, I want to have my nikkah done and have rukhsati at the same time. Besides, I know FOR SURE that my family and his family wouldn't be supportive of having nikkah done early anyway - it's a battle I would never win.

Thanks for your advice everyone. GroomDoc, you're right in that sabar ka phal meetha hai. And Ms. Bholi Bhali, you're right and I have to focus on enjoying umarried life while I still can! :)

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

there is just no comparison of having a relationship with your husband(nikah) than having a relationship with your fiance(engagement)!

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

I guess ppl like myself and fiance wouldn't know until we get nikkah-fied. But you sure make it sound enticing...and it makes the waiting process harder :p

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

awww definitely its the personal experience of everyone :)

and i totally agree it does make the waiting period difficult :P

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

Fiqh Hanfi requires the permission of girl's dad to complete nikkah.

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

to kiya ham nay tumhain kuch galat bataya.

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

actually to my surprise, this question was raised at an islamic show and the imam said that although they have been nikkah-ed technically the girl is still living with her parents (well in the scenario he was talking about she got nikkah-ed and went home) and is still her fathers daughter until she goes to her husbands house they should refrain from intimacy ie: s*x

if you mean hugging and that sort then i think thats permissable after nikkah but do check with an imam or religious reference if ur not sure.

i think its kinda silly, why would u wana get “intimate” when u know ur getting married ie rukhsati…just wait a little while longer…geez! :confused:

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

No.. For some reason (control?) desis like to pretend that girls must have their fathers’ permission to marry when they actually **don’t.. **as long as the guy is ‘suitable’ and not of bad character etc. (not advisable to actually go behind ur parents’ back tho obviously, just saying it IS VALID)..

The REAL **Hanafi **ruling:

http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?2977-Hanafi-Proof-Thread&

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

I wouldn’t want to wait, esp if I thought there wasn’t a ‘proper’ reason why I should.. Good for others if they are ok with it tho..

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

NO, you should leave your husband alone for his last fun in his life before rukhsati.

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

after nikah you can travel and make babies at same time. wonderful way of life god has given. enjoy.

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

really? so many of my friends who get frustrated with parents dragging their heels usually say they dun need their dad's permisiion. Shia's do though.

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

Disclaimer*no offence to any sunni or shia ,so don’t get all fired up.:smack:

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

^ The issue of marriage without parents permission in Islam is vague and controversial. Some scholars will say it's a must to have permission from parents based on certain Hadith, while others say it's not necessary as long as the boy and girl are mature and sound enough to make their own decision about marriage and have 2 witnesses. And yes, even within the Hanafi school of thought there are discrepancies on this issue.

I would never encourage anyone to get married without parent's permission, b/c we all know the grave punishment we get for disobeying our parents even on a small level...so going against them for something like marriage is obviously a no-no. It doesn't mean it's forbidden or "haraam" necessarily, it just means there may be punishments for it and we should try our best to avoid taking the risk if it's that big of a sin to hurt parents.

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

The actual rulings concerning guardian's permission are that for the Hanafi madhab it's not technically required for the nikah to be valid but for the others it is needed (majority view*****)* There is info on it on Sunnipath for anyone who wants references.

Majesty, what he said isn't true (think in a culture where arranged marriages are the norm how scandalous ppl find it if kids marry without parents' consent or choosing.. imo it's down to that more than anything)..

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

Some1 I know waited 8 years ,(both boy n girl waited ) to get married with consent cuz boy didnt want to upset her family by just marrying.issue was that he wasn't a syed and her dad'd side felt syeds should only marry syeds....so finally after 8 years he gave them the blessing n then when time came 4 dates deciding he wouldn't do that.Again they waited a long time. Eventually the Alim ruling was that they have waited 8 years and girl was also geting of considerable age now and wasn't willing t marry anywhere else n neither was guy.So they had given more than reasonable period to the parent and there was no objectionable or haram act/basis that father was not giving consent.

Eventually a year or two year later n they are married happily.

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Re: Nikkah before Rukhsati - Intimacy allowed?

thanks for the replies .I’m still confused though.:smack: I guess it’s two different interpretations of the law .