I’m just curious to know why some people have a gap between nikkah and rukhsati.
A cousin of mine had his nikkah a year ago and then recently the rukhsati. I don’t get why. Both occasions were as ‘big’ as each other. It was a bit like ‘so here we are again for part 2’
Has anyone had a long gap between the nikkah and rukhsati? if so why did you do so? Or does anyone know others who have had this
Also, in the gap in between, what did you see yourselves as? Islamically you are husband and wife but it would be frowned upon to be ‘together’ as such?
You're married but cannot live together as husband and wife? seems bizzare to me! i think they should be allowed to too...is it culture coming into religion again?
-a lot of people do nikah, coz they feel that way the rishta is more firm instead of enagement only. In these cases the nikah not equally big event as the ruksati. I dont agree with this setting though :)
-other people choose for nikah, in case they are to leave the country after ruksati. (visa n stuff done).
I think desi people are hyporits when it comes to nikah only.. they dont consider it marriage.. ruksati is more important?!
fairywings ... sometimes people get nikah done when one party is in school getting education and or out of the country. The nikah makes them husband and wife and the husband/wife who lives abroad can apply for the spouse's immigration. The third thing that I recently saw was they didn't do the shadi because of guy's financial situation and the guy wanted to become a little more stable before he wanted a family. These are the three reason i have expirienced for nikah before actual rukhsati. In both the situation they treated the nikah as actual shadi and the husband and wife took trips together which weren't frowned upon.
When you apply for visa, it takes some time (months) depending on the country ur going to after and its immigration law/requirements. So there is no point in having the wedding party/ruksati when the guy or girl still has to wait 6 months to a year before being able to live with their partner in the country she/he is going to.. Therefore u need the nikah to be done early so the applications can be submitted.
Obviously nikah and ruksati is even more firm.Only nikah is for people who want insurance, but the time is not there to get married and settle down together.. thats what i think.
The most obvious reason for 2 separate events: visa issues.
This. We had two separate events, but the nikkah was the bigger of the two. During that time, we considered ourselves as married, so no different from rukhsati, aside from the name. We "openly" talked to each other, called each other on the phone etc.
fairywings ... sometimes people get nikah done when one party is in school getting education and or out of the country. The nikah makes them husband and wife and the husband/wife who lives abroad can apply for the spouse's immigration. The third thing that I recently saw was they didn't do the shadi because of guy's financial situation and the guy wanted to become a little more stable before he wanted a family. These are the three reason i have expirienced for nikah before actual rukhsati. In both the situation they treated the nikah as actual shadi and the husband and wife took trips together which weren't frowned upon.
When you apply for visa, it takes some time (months) depending on the country ur going to after and its immigration law/requirements. So there is no point in having the wedding party/ruksati when the guy or girl still has to wait 6 months to a year before being able to live with their partner in the country she/he is going to.. Therefore u need the nikah to be done early so the applications can be submitted.
Obviously nikah and ruksati is even more firm.Only nikah is for people who want insurance, but the time is not there to get married and settle down together.. thats what i think.
but i hav seen many people who did nikah just 2,3 or 1 week before the date of wedding whats the reason behind this . i hav fresh example in my neighbors they did nikah just 3 days before wedding date
i understand the immigration issue. Thanks for explaining that guys. But then when the bride and groom are in education. why not wait? i know that it is obviously stronger than just being engaged. Doesn't it just create more issues? i mean in the sense that you have higher expectations of the other person...in terms of spending time together lah di dah...because now you are married as opposed to 'just' engaged. You would expect the other to make even more effort?
but i hav seen many people who did nikah just 2,3 or 1 week before the date of wedding whats the reason behind this . i hav fresh example in my neighbors they did nikah just 3 days before wedding date
I understand this...the gap here is a matter of weeks...some people don't want anything to get in the way. If they do it on the day of the rukhsati there are more things likely to go wrong? the pressure etc? personally i'd have my nikkah at least a day before. It is written to whom we will get married...it will not happen if Allah does not will it. so people like to get it out of the way. i just don't get why some people take a year or so gap if theyhave no reason to
but i hav seen many people who did nikah just 2,3 or 1 week before the date of wedding whats the reason behind this . i hav fresh example in my neighbors they did nikah just 3 days before wedding date
Well i dont know what reason its done for in other families but in my family we have the nikkah done before the other functions so that both the groom and bride can enjoy the celebration together. Its just more comfortable for them to be together when they know they are married, atleast thats how it works in our family. And we have had all my siblings nikkah done on fridays cuz we consider it very auspicious day, MasAllah.
And like someone posted above, some people have nikkah done instead of engagement cuz its a better confirmation that everything is final. They may want time for ruksati if they are not prepared for the wedding stuff.
I understand this...the gap here is a matter of weeks...some people don't want anything to get in the way. If they do it on the day of the rukhsati there are more things likely to go wrong? the pressure etc? personally i'd have my nikkah at least a day before. It is written to whom we will get married...it will not happen if Allah does not will it. so people like to get it out of the way. i just don't get why some people take a year or so gap if theyhave no reason to
what sort of pressure?
in pak if u r in army n u got nikkah then it increases ur salary may the reason is like this to increase ur salary etc
