Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
bride n groom sit together just after nikkah n it takes not more than 30 min .is 30 min a matter to wait ?
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
What?
I meant to say that since before the nikkah, the couple is not suppose to mingle it becomes a matter of concern for conservative families to whether have them sit together or even be together in the same function like mayoun, mehndi.
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
what sort of pressure? in pak if u r in army n u got nikkah then it increases ur salary may the reason is like this to increase ur salary etc
The pressure of the nikkah...its a big thing...and people like to have it under control and not open to too many variables.
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
is it necessary to sit together in mehndi? or our religious says to do like this?
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
is it necessary to sit together in mehndi? or our religious says to do like this?
Are you on drugs or something?
I am sure every couple would want to enjoy the perhaps most memorable day of their life together. So the proper way for it is to have the nikkah done before these functions. Bas. Now if you dnt wanna have yr partner on your mehndi or dont wanna go for nikkah b4 the wedding day then your choice.
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
Are you on drugs or something?.
;)
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
actully wat seems strange to u is abt ur pakistani culture to be engaged then after times nikah& rukhsati is same time...
to be honest its strange for me how u trust u put any name on u be4 nikah? wat if breaks? actully engegment makes no sence for me ...may same reason that i see in my own cultural view...
im married abt 2 years ago & still im in nikah & inshallah this march will be my wedding (as u say rukhsati) in my country then walima in pakistan, i see pakistanies take risks in name of engamment that may breaks anytime realy easier than nikah....
for us when proposal comes we think abt it & talk with guy(depend on family) then when we accept guy we go for nikah...then wedding will be when both can settel well & go their own home as there is no joint family system so u have to make more money..
.
gap between can be 3month even to 3-4 years depend on situation(same abt ur engament may take time)...but in nikah time u r more relx with hubby u can comnuicate(sleeping or not is diffrent from area to area) but atleast in wedding night u will not be shocked to sleep with a strange man!!!
i cant imagin i would be engaged then after nikah straitly i go to his home!
living in nikah time(if u mean sleeping) can handle by women as according islam for first relation husband doesnt have right to start its depend on wife's permision so in islamic point of view if ur husband supouse to have his relation after wedding not after nikah its ok...
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
what sort of pressure? in pak if u r in army n u got nikkah then it increases ur salary may the reason is like this to increase ur salary etc
What!? Seriously? So whats the incentive for those men who do 4 nikkah's/marriages? :)
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
Actually i was seriously thinking about same question due to my daughter, although she is engaged, but since he is not yet settled down i am not prepare to marry them yet.
He is thinking to visit here and explore business or any other opportunities, in that case putting him up at hotel for extended period of time would be expensive for him, I am toying with the idea to just do a nikah for them (delay official Rukhsati for while), in this case he could stay at our place comfortably.
Since they are officially married, they also have freedom to going out together without anyone bothering.
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
actully wat seems strange to u is abt ur pakistani culture to be engaged then after times nikah& rukhsati is same time...
to be honest its strange for me how u trust u put any name on u be4 nikah? wat if breaks? actully engegment makes no sence for me ...may same reason that i see in my own cultural view...
im married abt 2 years ago & still im in nikah & inshallah this march will be my wedding (as u say rukhsati) in my country then walima in pakistan, i see pakistanies take risks in name of engamment that may breaks anytime realy easier than nikah....
for us when proposal comes we think abt it & talk with guy(depend on family) then when we accept guy we go for nikah...then wedding will be when both can settel well & go their own home as there is no joint family system so u have to make more money.. . gap between can be 3month even to 3-4 years depend on situation(same abt ur engament may take time)...but in nikah time u r more relx with hubby u can comnuicate(sleeping or not is diffrent from area to area) but atleast in wedding night u will not be shocked to sleep with a strange man!!!
i cant imagin i would be engaged then after nikah straitly i go to his home!
living in nikah time(if u mean sleeping) can handle by women as according islam for first relation husband doesnt have right to start its depend on wife's permision so in islamic point of view if ur husband supouse to have his relation after wedding not after nikah its ok...
ye bat kuch samaj ma aati hy
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
What!? Seriously? So whats the incentive for those men who do 4 nikkah's/marriages? :)
yeah seriously coz after nikkah u hav family thats why ur salary increases to some extent
its up to u . u do 1 nikkah aur 4 it increases just once
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
actully wat seems strange to u is abt ur pakistani culture to be engaged then after times nikah& rukhsati is same time...
to be honest its strange for me how u trust u put any name on u be4 nikah? wat if breaks? actully engegment makes no sence for me ...may same reason that i see in my own cultural view...
im married abt 2 years ago & still im in nikah & inshallah this march will be my wedding (as u say rukhsati) in my country then walima in pakistan, i see pakistanies take risks in name of engamment that may breaks anytime realy easier than nikah....
for us when proposal comes we think abt it & talk with guy(depend on family) then when we accept guy we go for nikah...then wedding will be when both can settel well & go their own home as there is no joint family system so u have to make more money.. . gap between can be 3month even to 3-4 years depend on situation(same abt ur engament may take time)...but in nikah time u r more relx with hubby u can comnuicate(sleeping or not is diffrent from area to area) but atleast in wedding night u will not be shocked to sleep with a strange man!!!
i cant imagin i would be engaged then after nikah straitly i go to his home!
living in nikah time(if u mean sleeping) can handle by women as according islam for first relation husband doesnt have right to start its depend on wife's permision so in islamic point of view if ur husband supouse to have his relation after wedding not after nikah its ok...
I understand the point that an engagement is not the same as a nikkah...i really understand that...i'm just curious as to why you don't live together?
my point simply is...why is there such a thing as a rukhsati? its something placed on us by culture. nikkah is the REAL thing...i just do not get it
Actually i was seriously thinking about same question due to my daughter, although she is engaged, but since he is not yet settled down i am not prepare to marry them yet.
He is thinking to visit here and explore business or any other opportunities, in that case putting him up at hotel for extended period of time would be expensive for him, I am toying with the idea to just do a nikah for them (delay official Rukhsati for while), in this case he could stay at our place comfortably.
Since they are officially married, they also have freedom to going out together without anyone bothering.
I do not mean to sound crude or anything but if they have their nikkah etc they will live as husband and wife so is there a need for them to also have a rukhsati some time later?
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
My fiance and I have been thinking about doing a nikkah and do the rukhsati later on... just because then we can spend time together but we do not want to do rukhsati because we both want to live with our own parents for a little while longer before having to live a married life....
but like 2 days ago, we were talking about it and i mentioned that it will be awesome because then we could go together for vacation to pakistan or to california to meet relatives... he said that his parents would not let him do that because "shaadi nahi hui hogi".. I said but we would be married so what is the problem.. aur shaadi ka matlab nikah hi to hota hai.. baki sari rasmein to logoon ne add kari hain. He did not respond and I did not want to argue. So can his parents really not let us go visit our relatives together?? Idk.. this whole desi stuff is so confusing at times
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
ye bat kuch samaj ma aati hy
i dont understand urdu can u translate wat it means?
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
dear Fairywings:
if we dont live together its same reason that u ppl do engagment...why when proposal comes u dont make wedding same time?
surly its due to reasons u wanna delay wedding ...it can be financial issue...studies...better job ...saving or any reason same as pakistanies makes gap between engagment & wedding for thoes reasons...
but we do nikah so we can comunicate we dont say ok come after 2 years to make wedding...in this time with nikah we can go together why not enjoy our youth time with a mahram ? parties gathering & outing with ur hubby makes more enegry for u...
rather than that even in thoes strict family u can go for outing so least thing is u meet ur hubby & its enjoy time ....
but if u can make wedding & u can go ur own home no one isnt agree to delay wedding only 2-3month after nikah they take time to do prepration of wedding...this time also we do nikah sooner so bride & groom can go for shopping & all together(as in our country bride & groom select all things & in order to pocket of Groom ) lol
DEAR Miszani :
pro is in pakistani culture they dont care abt islam...here if we make nikah relation isnt matter some cases sleeping is pro also due to islam if girl avoid its no problem till she is virgin & its a compromise to take ur wife to ur home & stay full time with her....no father in law wouldnt stop wedding...
mostly issue is Groom cant make wedding....as wedding is held by Groom so he or his family will pay for all so they should do it faster....Girl father will be so good if still he is waiting for groom to be ready...some fathers r strictly says make wedding after some month...
so here if u have a father in law who wait for u to make ur boudget & u r delaying wedding u should be so happy(Happy Groom)
but pakistani culture is strict ...like my hubby came here we went travel & parties & etc
but we didnt inform my in-laws! LOL
once we informed but second time we didnt tell them...
but for my wedding prepartion i came to pakistan month back but no relatives came to meet me as my Ami jan said we dont announace in ppl cuz u r not in Shadi something like this ...
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
i dont understand urdu can u translate wat it means?
means ur post mades some sense it touches my mind
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
Paliz654654 can i ask where you are from? im guessing you aren't from pakistan? it's nice to see a different perspective sometimes
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
Paliz654654 can i ask where you are from? im guessing you aren't from pakistan? it's nice to see a different perspective sometimes
dear yes im not pakistani
but im married with a pakistani guy & due to my hubby request i cant say my country in public room here...
but in my view why not enjoy with hubby if u cant afford wedding...least is u can fill ur time with ur halal hubby where most of muslim youth find gf-bf ...
u can do nikah & enjoy then wedding is when u can afford & u will be stable...
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
I understand the point that an engagement is not the same as a nikkah...i really understand that...i'm just curious as to why you don't live together?
my point simply is...why is there such a thing as a rukhsati? its something placed on us by culture. nikkah is the REAL thing...i just do not get it
I do not mean to sound crude or anything but if they have their nikkah etc they will live as husband and wife so is there a need for them to also have a rukhsati some time later?
Actually rukhsati is nothing according to Sharia, it is just a customary thing, once they nikafied, i would appreciate if they wait till ruksati so we can have a grand function to celebrate it. But it they are free to decide for their lives.
Re: Nikkah and Rukhsati
we didnt have an engagement but a nikha and a ruksati year after, during which we prepared for the ruksati and allowed time for the families to get to knwo each other since it was love.