Desi Beauty - Yes: Bride comes in and then the Nikkah takes place. The bride and groom sit next to each other.
I like the idea of having the Nikkah take place of everyone at the baraat reception. This is the main event ..... and guests should be invited so that they are witnessing such an important thing. Anyone you do NOT feel comfortable witnessing this ...well they shouldn't be invited to your wedding in the first place. We put so much emphasis on other elements of the wedding... rasams... naach/gaana ... khanna... etc. When actually the actual moment/time of Nikkah should be the most important one with the most emphasis placed on it. It should be the major part of your wedding.
I think it is beautiful when I hear a bride and groom say their dua and acceptance of the marriage. I get teary eyed all the time... because I know that it is such a special moment that I was just able to witness.
I also think its important for kids to see a nikkah take place and hear the kutbah. It has become way too common where people in general have come to think of a shaadi simply as a place where you get some free food and get your dance on. Kids definietly think this. They should definietly be exposed to this important element of a muslim wedding. (By kids I mean older ones..... not the little kiddies who dont really understand where they are and why they are there).
^ i agree with you PR, and it would be so beautiful to be next to each other and say "I do," but not every family is ok with that. For example my inlaws are doing the nikah beforehand so there isn't a issue when we go for the couple shoot (the issue wuld be from their side not ours). Anyways thats why ill be stuck in a separate room from him :(
^ I was in Karachi for mine, so eventho both families wanted it, we couldn’t do it because “no maulvi will agree to perform the nikkah if the bride is present on stage with the groom.”
You should hear the idiotic reasoning to support such a viewpoint.
Thanks dear… I would also be grateful if you also mention details about meher.. I have heard that it is to be paid at the time of Nikah. Also, what if the groom is on a visit visa to Dubai and only the bride holds the residence visa, can the nikah done in UAE…
Well the Islamic point of view would definitely to have the separate areas and seating arrangements for both groom and bride (they are not mahram until their nikah is done so strictly speaking they should not even be seeing each other before the nikah is done).
But of course, in todays modern times, where girls see and mingle with a lot on non-mahrams.. I do not see any harm in letting the bride sit next to the groom and then getting the nikah done… but then again… most families do not allow this and usually the bride is in seperate room and after the nikah join the groom (either on stage when the nikah is done at the reception, or at the home when the nikah is done before the reception).
At my female cousin’s nikah, the gents along with the groom went directly to the mosque for the nikah while my coursin remained at her home and her part of the nikah was done there. After the nikah, the groom came to the marquee where a stage was set up and my cousin joined him and sat next to him. Pics were then taken for both of them along with families as well. The families are usually comfortable letting the dulha dulhan sit next to each other only after the nikah… I wonder how they allow sitting next to each other in previous ceremonies like engagement Well no engagement was done for my cousin so you can consider the example to be of a reasonably conservative n traditional family
Exactly… how did the bride and groom sit next to each other on the engagement and mehindi. You are incorrect, the bride and groom are allowed to see each other as long as they have a chaperone present. So having a bride sit in a different during nikah for this reason does not seem valid.
Yeah thats what I meant, they are not allowed Islamically to see eath other in the absence of a chaperone. However, in more conservative Pakistan, or in older times, they were not allowed to see each other at all.
Regarding the matter of sitting each other, its just that ‘what others will think’. Personally, my parents would allow me to have a chat or meeting with my fiance, but they still would not allow me to sit next to him on the day of nikah just bcoz what other family members would think (u know such people are present in each family ).
The practices vary according to each family and it really depends on how open minded a family is. We can always try to have it our way
Your are gonna sit next to him after the Nikah right? what about the mehindi, are you going to sit next to him than?
Well for me , nikah will be done much before the wedding functions and reception so that my hubby could apply for my visa n stuff. So I will not be sitting next to him on nikah. However, once the nikah is done, we can have lots of pics taken.
After 2-3 months of nikah, we will have mehendi and reception, so no problem sitting next to each other at these functions (we will be legal husband n wife) :)
Well for me , nikah will be done much before the wedding functions and reception so that my hubby could apply for my visa n stuff. So I will not be sitting next to him on nikah. However, once the nikah is done, we can have lots of pics taken.
After 2-3 months of nikah, we will have mehendi and reception, so no problem sitting next to each other at these functions (we will be legal husband n wife) :)
DB in the more conservative families...the bride n groom dont even sit together at the mehndi. Their rasams are done separate.
I heard of that back in the day, but I dont think people really do that nowadays.
Technically there is nothing wrong with the bride and groom sitting together prior to nikah as there are more than enough chaperones around lol.
I dont know how my family would want to do it, in a seperate room or together. It's not really that I want to be sitting with my fiancee during nikah, it's more, that I want to be present during the nikah, and witness everything, not stuck in a room at the most important part of my own wedding. You know what I mean.
for islamic point of view sitting togeather isnt pro just u should keep a distance be4 nikah to not touch eachother but sitting isnt problem...
id like the idea of punjabRose for making nikah as function...but still i prefer nikah in a hloy place ... it gives u very nice feeling of being close to allah & later in ur home all will eat sweets & will drown to devine atmosphere & inside happiness...
i did my nikah in a very holy place so then after 3 days my engagment function went great & i could be with my hubby during cermony so we could dance together & enjoy alot with romance photoshot without any haram touch...so then for wedding we will not have any issues also ....
^ i understand what you are saying, but believe me its still practiced (the separation). Maybe not so common in the US or UK so much...but in pakistan it is. I know even in pakistani ppl are getting away from such practices but some dont want to change their ways (my inlaws included :( )
rabia if ur inlaws r strict why u r not doing same as i did?? i mean make ur nikah in masjid or home be4 other function so just close relative will attend & it will be only tea& sweet serving without any special cost so then in other functions u will be relaxe to do anything...
rabia if ur inlaws r strict why u r not doing same as i did?? i mean make ur nikah in masjid or home be4 other function so just close relative will attend & it will be only tea& sweet serving without any special cost so then in other functions u will be relaxe to do anything...
ny pakistani weddings tend to be a lot more lively and modern than houston ones. However I attended one some years ago and it was lovely they set up a much smaller room with chairs on either end. she walked in like a typical western style sat down, nikkah was done which was neat to watch. we went into the main hallway for samosas, fruit & snacks, kinda a cocktail hour thing before they let us into the reception room. Only problem was that though all the guests got to witness their wedding you can't really ask the molvi to leave. He got up during the reception gave us a longggggggggggggggg lecture, talked about the women in saris, men with chains on and then scolded the people for playing music bc it's haraam. I swear he sucked all the fun out of the occasion and it really sucked because her mom's side is christian desi. So all of those relatives were offended and also were like dude we paid a lot to make it to this wedding and now there's no music for the night?
religious events like a nikkah are better done at a masjid or a home where they can't interfere with the fun festivities that do come with a desi wedding.
