Ok. So I did know that Nikah halalifies the relationship but what I am confused about is this: Once you have married (nikah done), why doesn’t she come start living with the guy. Or in other words, why can’t they have sex? If they are concerned about how the guy is not stable yet and he has to finish his studies or the girl has to finish her studies, then why are you getting Nikah done? Just don’t have anything done until you are really ready. So is rukhsati something that desis made up? Isn’t the Islamic proper or preferred way to get nikah done and then move in and consumate the marriage?
Funny thing about this Nikah-but-not-rukhsati thing is what happened to my friend. The girl’s family said that she’s becoming a doctor. They can get nikahified but can’t have children for 7 years until she finishes her studies I mean what the hell. Ofcourse the guy said no thank you. But what’s the point of nikah then if they can’t ‘consumate’ the wedding? Just marry someone else.
a lot of people have said that its not ok for the engaged or nikkahfied pair to be talking or conversing much before the actualy rukhsati... i dont understand why..?
well actually engagement in islaam is defined as the period between the time of consent until the time of the nikah. when i say consent i mean agreement on both parties to get married
inshAllah this weekend & next weekend I will be taking an intensive class on marriage, so hopefully i will be able to shed the different islamic perspectives pertaining to this matter.
i think it all depends on how you define the word engagement. bec according to a local scholar here, there is engagement in islaam as i have described above
well nikah cannot be an engagement, bec that is shaadi.... this stuff is so annoying. i mean people get so weird about all this stuff. to me it doesnt make sense. some people have their nikahs, get to know their husband/wife. than the next yr they get the rukhsati. wuts the point of that???
either way the husband is responsible for the wife's financial situation & is obligated to pay for her even if her parents say its ok.
For the conversation sake, I'll use "marriage" for Nikah.
To marry someone but hold on the rukhsati is so annoying, stupid, nonsense, and all that. Why? Because if you marry someone, you should be allowed to spend your life together. If financial problems hold you back, then take care of them FIRST. WHo's forcing you to get married and what's the point, you are not consumating it anyway? If you want to know that person, then meet with that person in the presence of a mehram, afterall, the point is to get to know that person.
It depends on the circumstances. My brother did his nikkah 1 year before the rukhsati, but that was because he needed to produce a marriage certificate in order to apply for her immigration to the UK, so that she could go to the UK with him immediately after the rukhsati.
So for a year, the poor guy could do nothing more than phone and SMS his new wife (on a near daily basis :yukh: ) and talk to her on MSN …
maddy, in certain circumstances like that, i understand. but nowadays its become like a trend over here to get the nikah done & than after a yr or so get the rukhsati. its seriously "islamic dating"
^ Yes. That's an exception. Several of my cousins did that as they married with someone who was living in Pakistan and my cousins were in England. Ofcourse the girl couldn't come to England right after shaadi, so some did the nikkah first and got the visa but some did the whole shaadi, then applied for the visa while both parties were in different countries.
But I don't understand why those people have to do it who are living in the same town or same state or same country.
Bhai logoN ki marzi. Aap ko nahi pasand, aap na karein nikah. Everyone has different situations. Hamein kiya patta. Plus, some people genuinely believe that they are not allowed to talk to their fiancee in private. And if they are really serious about the whole thing, they do the nikah so they can interact more freely with their future spouse. Many times visa and immigration issues cause them do nikah early on and rukhsati when they are ready.
** Faisal ** thats fine, but the restrictions of the couple not to consummate their marriage makes it in essense haram... in the sense that if the husband would like to & the wife says no due to "rules" than the wife will be cursed by the angels.
my point of replying this thread is to educate others of what is right and wrong according to the knowledge i have been exposed to.
If the husband does not have that much aqal and sabar, then the wife has a bigger problem to deal with. It may not be that late and she should seriously consider if this is the guy she wants to spend the rest of her life with. Excellent opportunity to evaluate the proposal, I'd say.
Shikra Beta Kahin aap ka nikah to nahi ho gya? Listen it's a bi#ch to go through living while knowing that two are now one. If you can manage do the nikah and rukshati same day and go for the honeymoon right after preferebly the next day my brother.
Just don’t have anything done until you are really ready. So is rukhsati something that desis made up? Isn’t the Islamic proper or preferred way to get nikah done and then move in and consumate the marriage?