Recently, there has been a wave of ‘nikahs’ in places of what used to be ‘mangani’ and then some lag before the actual ‘shadi’. Why is it so?
Recently, there has been a wave of 'nikahs' in places of what used to be 'mangani' and then some lag before the actual 'shadi'. Why is it so?
Number of reasons, each to their own.
for hook line n sinker
difficult for the machi to escape once they've been roped in
Re: Nikah before rukhsati
to make it safe for both parties involved. nikah before actual rukhsati leaves little room for issues.. i think is the best option, and it is.
Re: Nikah before rukhsati
It also allows for the couple to plan together, go house-hunting together, etc without "talk."
Re: Nikah before rukhsati
plus coz of documentation nd all if the bride has to go abroad ... she'l not hav to wait for 5-6 mths then .. can go with her hubby right after the rukhsati ..
Re: Nikah before rukhsati
In both my and my sister's case, it was to make the relationship halal so we could talk, meet etc in a halal way.
Some people just prefer it like this. After engagement, Islamically you are still not supposed to be alone with your fiance. But after nikah, you are able to spend time alone together, get to know each other better. Also it makes it easier to set up your new place together. And also some people are still students when they do their nikah, so it makes it easier for them, without having to manage the financial responsibilities of living together right away etc. There are alot of reasons why people do it like this.
Re: Nikah before rukhsati
^^true.nikah is the proper n islamic way to bond two na-mahrams,not engagement.
Re: Nikah before rukhsati
I like the idea of having a nikaah instead of an engagement as the latter holds holds no significance in Islamic tradition. But what I do find problematic is that people turn a Nikaah function/ceremeny into a full-out wedding! The heavy jora, jewellery, long guest list....it makes you wonder if all that is really necessary. If you can afford it...by all means do so! But those who earn a modest living can find a simple ceremony to be another thing that poeple will talk about. It makes it a burden on the girl's family (in most cases) as they have to do the ceremony twice!
Re: Nikah before rukhsati
We're doing a simple nikah and a thats it. Im thinking of having a dinner for immediate family and close friends because my parents want a nikah instead of an engagement. There really is no significance of an engagement Islamically speaking.
I like the idea of having a nikaah instead of an engagement as the latter holds holds no significance in Islamic tradition. But what I do find problematic is that people turn a Nikaah function/ceremeny into a full-out wedding! The heavy jora, jewellery, long guest list....it makes you wonder if all that is really necessary. If you can afford it...by all means do so! But those who earn a modest living can find a simple ceremony to be another thing that poeple will talk about. It makes it a burden on the girl's family (in most cases) as they have to do the ceremony twice!
there's no significance of rukhsati in islam either.
in my opinion it should be the nikkah that is celebrated properly but each to their own.
Re: Nikah before rukhsati
sometimes its also done if the groom lives abroad and the bride in pakistan and there are visa's and/or immigration to arrange. mostly i think its done to make the rishta halal and then it allows the couple to meet more often and openly without gossip/dating.
We're doing a simple nikah and a thats it. Im thinking of having a dinner for immediate family and close friends because my parents want a nikah instead of an engagement. There really is no significance of an engagement Islamically speaking.
For some people simplicity is the way to go. My nikah was very basic and simple at home but i did dress up and got makeup done professionally for pics etc. My sister also dressed up for her nikah which was at home followed up with a small reception in a rest. Later on my BIL's friends took us all out to Cheesecake factory for more dessert and just to enjoy a bit. It was a little awkward since we didnt know his friends that well and vice versa but fun nonetheless.
Re: Nikah before rukhsati
nikah's should be bigger deals than rukhsati's, IMHO. its the meat and potatoes of the whole shaadi process, after all, isn't it? the day you pledge to spend the rest of your life with someone. it kind of irks me when people say it should be a small, simple affair because the rukhsati is the main thing, and then the same people harp on about how weddings should be simple because thats the Islamic way. well, really, a nikah is all thats required in Islam, not a huge expensive rukhsati, so pick a perspective and stick to it.
Re: Nikah before rukhsati
So what's the point of the rukhsati then if the nikkah is the actual marriage contract? Is there any need for rukhsati islamically or is that just a way to drag out the wedding proceedings even more and add another day onto the celebrations?
I can understand if people can't have their nikkah and rukhsatis done at the same time, usually due to visa issues or the age of the bride/groom etc, but some people just seem to deliberately seperate the two in order to have an extra day of dressing up and partying (each to their own I guess) when I thought islamically the bride and groom should live together as husband and wife as soon as possible after nikkah?
Re: Nikah before rukhsati
^(@sgc) completely agree. that's how it is traditionally in my family too. even if the couple aren't going to live together until some time later, she's still 'rukhsat' at the same time as nikkah... there's like little concept of them not being husband and wife and needing to declare it later, once the nikkah is done.
my nikkah is soon, this is how we expected it to be. but my in-laws are like 'they're not getting married, it's only a nikkah'. only a nikkah? they crack me up.
it's causing a lot of complications too.
Re: Nikah before rukhsati
my nikkah/rukhsati will be on the same day....
yeh islamically there is no such thing as engagement or rukhsati
those r all cultural add ons
weddings should be simpler so they dont cost so much money
its ridiculous the prices for everything
even wen i convert things to dollars i cant imagine how anyone but the super rich get married in pakistan....
n then everyone else around u is soooo poor .. it breaks my heart to c it
Re: Nikah before rukhsati
I guess to each their own. I enjoyed my nikah more than my rukhsati/valima. It was small and intimate. At that time, it was just to make the relationship halal, moreso than an engagement, but later on, as time went by, it became the real thing, if that makes any sense. Husband and i now look at our nikah date as our official married date, the way it should be. I know some who think of rukhsati as the original shadi date and thats their choice.
Also, some people can afford to hold big bashes on both nikah and rukhsati and some cant. Some just dont want to. I guess whatever suits them best.
Re: Nikah before rukhsati
i plan to and want to have my nikah on the mehndi day - doing it early so i can take wedding pictures with my hubby and no onces has a problem with that and ALSO too save a little money...dont feel its right to have another day for free dinner for the families.