Nikaah

Salaam,

I had broke up with my ex girlfriend about a year ago for religious reasons, we still see each other at college but the intimacy and physical contact is gone, just the odd hi and bye.

Yesterday she phoned me and said she’s been reading up on Islam and wants to convert and that she still loves me and if she does convert will I do Nikaah with her? We discussed it for a while and she said there’s no need to tell anyone anything yet she’ll take the Shahaadah and we’ll get the Imam to perform the Nikaah and he can act as her guardian during it because her family is Sikh. She already knows the Shahaadah and the words of Namaaz in tooti phooti Arabic.

It sounded like a great idea then because I do still have feelings for her and it was torture breaking up with her but now I’m a bit reluctant, because I don’t want to end up compromising my religious values for a girl. I keep thinking what if she’s not serious about Islam and only wants to convert so that she can get back with me? And of course I’m worried if my parents find out and I’ll get kicked out of home and wont inherit nothing.

I’m confused and in need of some serious advice…

hahaha.. okay this is the funniest thing ever :rotfl:

“intimacy and physical contact” :nono4:

haraam dhulfi!

Leave the past behind,

First of all she loves you and wants to convert to islam because of you. so you can consider your self lucky.

Secondly, about the compromising the religion gose its up to you as how much you your self follow the religion. If you dont follow it yourself, you cant expect her to be a good muslim either, coz remember you will e her first connection to the relegion.

The rest is upto you. Remember for her to convert to islam will be because of you and you will indeed get a lot of praise from Allah and alot back biting from the people you love (friends and relatives).

Re: Nikaah

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Dhulfiqar: *
Salaam,

I had broke up with my ex girlfriend about a year ago for religious reasons, we still see each other at college but the intimacy and physical contact is gone, just the odd hi and bye.

Yesterday she phoned me and said she’s been reading up on Islam and wants to convert and that she still loves me and if she does convert will I do Nikaah with her? We discussed it for a while and she said there’s no need to tell anyone anything yet she’ll take the Shahaadah and we’ll get the Imam to perform the Nikaah and he can act as her guardian during it because her family is Sikh. She already knows the Shahaadah and the words of Namaaz in tooti phooti Arabic.

It sounded like a great idea then because I do still have feelings for her and it was torture breaking up with her but now I’m a bit reluctant, because I don’t want to end up compromising my religious values for a girl. I keep thinking what if she’s not serious about Islam and only wants to convert so that she can get back with me? And of course I’m worried if my parents find out and I’ll get kicked out of home and wont inherit nothing.

I’m confused and in need of some serious advice…
[/QUOTE]

Conversion is for Allah's sake. Its for the love of Allah. Not
for any person. Check your Imman. Kisee Scholar se fatwa
le. Also check islam-qa.com.

And on a personal note, you were dating Sikh?
tauba

Found this for you Bro:

link islam Q&A

Question :

hi my name is amandeep sidhu. i am not a muslim but i like a person who is muslim. he said he will get married to me. but he never did for some reason.i have a question for you that why can a sikh and a muslim get married? is it all wright for them to get married?

Answer :

Praise be to Allaah.

First of all, we thank you for your trust in this site. We feel that your sending this message is indicative of your openness to searching for the truth and not to cling blindly to that which you grew up with. This in itself is a blessing and we ask Allaah to complete it for you by bringing you to the truth which will bring you happiness in this world and in the Hereafter. In order to reach that point, we advise you to read about Islam on this website and to think about it, and to be sincere in your search for the truth. Ask the One Who created you from nothing to guide you to the correct path and the right religion. Note that human life cannot be good and proper without a correct religion to give life and that this human soul cannot be stable without a proper relationship with its creator, Allaah. Worship of Allaah is the spirit of life, without which there can be nothing but hardship and misery.

With regard to your question about your getting married to a Muslim, if you embrace Islam and accept it as your religion – and this is what we ask Allaah to help you to do – then there is nothing to stop you from marrying him. Your guardian for the purpose of marriage should be your closest Muslim relative; if you have no Muslim relatives then your guardian should be the Muslim judge (qaadi) in the city in which you are living, or someone who is responsible for the Muslim community if there is no Muslim qaadi or sharee’ah court.

You should note that Islamic law (sharee’ah) forbids a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man, no matter what his religion is, and it forbids a Muslim man to marry any non-Muslim woman apart from women of the People of the Book, namely Jews and Christians; no others are allowed. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember”

[al-Baqarah 2:221]

This verse makes clear the great wisdom behind this prohibition, which is to protect Muslim men and women from being influenced in religious matters. But because the man is the one who has the final say in the household, he is less likely to be influenced by his wife than in the opposite situation, hence he is permitted to marry a woman from among the People of the Book only [not from other religions], because their disbelief is less serious than that of others, in general, and because they are followers of a previous divine message, even though it has been distorted, so they are different from others. On this basis, it is not permissible for a Muslim to marry a Sikh woman unless she becomes Muslim.

Our advice to you, to which we hope Allaah will open your heart, is that so long as this issue exists, you should make the most of it so that it will be a motive for you to enter Islam, especially since this Muslim man is following his religion. We hope that if you become Muslim, you and he will be able to help one another to be patient and steadfast, because after you become Muslim you will need someone to stand by your side and protect you from those who will not like the fact that you have become Muslim and have left the religion of your forefathers. This is how Allaah tests many of those who enter this pure monotheistic religion, so that it may be a motive for them to remain steadfast, and to show in reality whether they deserve this blessing or not. We ask Allaah to help you find the way to true happiness and to believe in it and adhere steadfastly to it, until it ultimately leads to Paradise as vast as the heavens and the earth. Please also see question no. 3023. Peace be upon those who follow true guidance.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

Salam qabool ho brother!

Well if the girl is serious about you, if you like her and shes also ready to convert then the only problem left are your parents... am I right??

If you love her then why dont you talk to your parents about the girl?? Talk to your mother or sister 1st, explain the whole situation and I'm sure that they will agree. Infact they should be happy that their son is healthy and grownup enough to make his own decisions. Marriage covers or makes up 1/2 of a persons faith, do collect the courage my brother.

Without the consent of parents a nikkah is not valid mind you. The minimum number of witnesses is 2.

If both of you are grown up then talk to your parents who will then talk to your girlfriends family.

Reply and i will try to help you.

Salaam,

Thanks for the replies everyone.

I’ve made up my mind; I’m going to go ahead with it, jo hoga baad meiN dekha jaey ga.

We’ll tell our families when we go to uni so that we have a place to live, I’m sure my parents will eventually understand, since she is a Muslim and Desi too but she says her parents wont be too keen on the idea.

I phoned up an Islamic Centre in a nearby town and the Imam has agreed to perform the Nikaah and two of my best mates said they’d be the witnesses.

One of her friends a gori girl who converted earlier last year has volunteered to teach her about the five pillars and hygiene etc. she already knows the basics just needs to polish up on the prayers and stuff, as soon as she’s learnt everything we shall tie the knot.

All I need to do now is to look for a dress and some jewellery and then I’m sorted, grr I hate spending money (and I only work weekends), it’ll be worth it though.

suroor_ca02 lol :D

kewlsolara & rehman1 thanks for the advice brothers, it really helped :)

blushing_vision thanks, talking to my parents isn’t a good idea at the moment because our mums know each other and I’m more worried about her parents finding out. Parental consent is not necessary for a man who is mature enough and I’m 18 so it there’s no problem there, a woman however would have needed a guardian to marry her of (so that she has financial and emotional support in case of divorce) but her family are all Kafir and a Kafir cannot act as a guardian for a Muslim so the Imam is allowed to act as her guardian in this case :maulvidis

Still, keeping a marriage hidden isn't really a good thing. Once you've done nikkah's can't you provide your mum with a fait accompli, done deed, and ask if your wife can move into the family home to join you?

Would your mother really send her Muslim daughter-in-law away to live with a non-Muslim family?

On the other hand, from you mum's perspective, this will torpedo her friendship with your fiance's mother.

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Dhulfiqar: *
Salaam,

Thanks for the replies everyone.

I’ve made up my mind; I’m going to go ahead with it, jo hoga baad meiN dekha jaey ga.

[/QUOTE]

Best of luck bro, our best wishes are for both of you.

Although we will do advise to tell your parents before hand (as some one said above) so that they will atleast know what you are planing to do. If they agree or not that is another case.

MAy allah keep you and your future wife on the right path.

Just remember this is a very big step that your future wife is taking ( going against her relegion and and traditions) so be there for her always no matter what.

Re: Re: Nikaah

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by rehman1: *
...
And on a personal note, you were dating Sikh?
tauba
[/QUOTE]

And if it were a Muslim girl, it would have been okay? Some standards.

Re: Re: Re: Nikaah

No. Its never ok. The last part was kind of funny.
:nono4:

Salaam, I tried telling my mum but I can’t get myself to do it, don’t have the guts.

We’ll tell them when we’ve both graduated Allah willing.

Besides it’s only a Nikaah, we’re not officially registering the marriage or even documenting it, it’s going to be done orally, two minute job and I don’t really want to be a husband (legally) just yet, as long as we’re married according to Allah’s law, that’s all that I’m bothered about.

I know it’s the Prophetic way to announce marriages publicly, that’s why I’m going to have it after Friday Prayers in another town where nobody knows us, I’ll buy some mithaii or something to feed the congregation afterwards, bloody heck I’ve never felt this generous in ages...

Dhulfiqar..

First of all congratulations. May Allah bless you with infinite happiness and success.

I'd take this opportunity to clarify three things. I hope you don't mind.

Nikah is as official as official gets. Its a binding contract. Whether you register it with the city or not, just because nikah is oral does not mean it has any less value. So, please be very clear about it. After nikah both of you will have defined rights and obligations towards each other.

Secondly, part of your duties towards your parents imply that you should be forthright to them. Marrying someone in secret is certainly not the way. Even if it is not mandatory, you may give them a lot of heart-ache by not telling them or sharing with them this most important occassion of your life. Please reconsider.

Thirdly, when Islam talks about being open and non-secretive about marriage, it does not mean you should tell total strangers. That defeats the purpose. The idea is to let the community and your families know, so there is no ambiguity in your status and that of any children you produce. Please reconsider.

err.. secret weddings?
not wanting to be a legal husband? :-s i thought nikkah was as legal as it gets.
seems to me u just want that "intimate and physical" thing legalized. if u did care about her u wud have told every one including ur parents.

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Dhulfiqar: *
Salaam, I tried telling my mum but I can’t get myself to do it, don’t have the guts.

We’ll tell them when we’ve both graduated Allah willing.

Besides it’s only a Nikaah, we’re not officially registering the marriage or even documenting it, it’s going to be done orally, two minute job and I don’t really want to be a husband (legally) just yet, as long as we’re married according to Allah’s law, that’s all that I’m bothered about.

I know it’s the Prophetic way to announce marriages publicly, that’s why I’m going to have it after Friday Prayers in another town where nobody knows us, I’ll buy some mithaii or something to feed the congregation afterwards, bloody heck I’ve never felt this generous in ages...
[/QUOTE]

She MUST be an idiot to marry a COWARD like you.

[QUOTE]
Originally posted by suroor_ca02: *
err.. secret weddings?
not wanting to be a legal husband? :-s i thought nikkah was as legal as it gets.
**seems to me u just want that "intimate and physical" thing legalized. if u did care about her u wud have told every one including ur parents.
*
[/QUOTE]

ditto!!

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Dhulfiqar: *
Salaam, I tried telling my mum but I can’t get myself to do it, don’t have the guts.

We’ll tell them when we’ve both graduated Allah willing.

Besides it’s only a Nikaah, we’re not officially registering the marriage or even documenting it, it’s going to be done orally, two minute job and I don’t really want to be a husband (legally) just yet, as long as we’re married according to Allah’s law, that’s all that I’m bothered about.

[/QUOTE]

dude, Dont do it if you are not ready.

1) Nikah makes you her husband legally under the islamic law and you have to obey allt he duties of an islamic husband.

2) if you are in a non islamic country and your marriage is not registered then i am afraid so you have no grounds to claim her as your wife as you will not have any proof under that country's law. and all the people in taking part in that marriage will be in trobule including that molvi.

3) Even in an Islamic country you have to register your nikah. If you want to claim her as your wife.

4) what if parents ask you for proof ???? what if both families went against you. you wont even be able to take help from any autorities because you simply dont have any proof.

Also what if you could not go along with her then what ?????

Think twice what you are going to do? Dont ruin the life of the that girl as all the sin will go to you and not to her.

Tell your family I am marrying HEr there and then if you wana be there in my happy moments good , if not , you dont care. and she should do the same.

Then go and do a proper registerd marriage.

You are 18? Have mercy on yourself and her please!

Wish you all the best anyways. May Allah swt guide you both towards the right path and give you the courage to face the situation.

dude.. if u wanna get laid .. just get laid.. y do u have to bring religion into it.. u werent so careful the first time u were physical with her.. y shud it bother u now?