Also known as the ‘disease to please’… can anyone here relate to the phrase? Have you realized that being too nice is actually holding you back from true happiness and respect in life? Nice girl syndrome is all about being a doormat who puts the needs and well-being of others before her own, and pretty much always gets taken advantage of, abused, and manipulated. Nice girls don’t know how to stand up for themselves, worry too much about what others may think of them, and don’t know how to or refuse to express anger in order to avoid conflict and confrontation.
Any reformed ‘nice girls’ who are now strong women? I’m curious… how did people around you react to the drastic change of seeing you as a an easy target and a yes-woman to a strong, assertive woman with the ability to put herself first, say no to others, and actually be able to confront people who are wronging her or walking away from abusive/unhealthy relationships.
Logic, reason and validity trancesends any type of personality as u are using true points - this and using islamic behaviour, ettiquette and morals will make even the weakest person strong.
Bring in islamic scholars and others of a good and honourable nature and no one will be able to be argumentative with u - its a sin to have low self esteem and to allow any kind of zulum happen to u - y not let islam help?
It’s not about the ‘Nice Girl Syndrome’. Its actually a psychological disorder and its called ‘People Pleasing Disorder’. A person having such a personality must consult a psychiatrist at the earliest.
Here is a link where you can do the initial readings on how to cure as 1st step measure before going to a Psyc
If someone has a softer personality doesnt mean they are ill or need psychiatric help. Its always a pleasure to be around such people because they are much more easier to communicate with.
In my circle when I come across such people, I value them alot and ensure protection as much as I can if people try to bully them.
Being assertive , overpowering, loud .. isnt really the best quality in life , they have their ill effects too .. I know it makes us feel powerful to run over someone else .. but Karma always hits when we are least expecting it ...
having said all this, I am very much in favour of striking that right balance in our personalities, while pleasing others and pleasantly dealing with others is a very strong quality one should have enough strength to be able to tackle the bullies.
Some people are just passive. Could be due to the way they've been brought up, and could be because they're are intimated easily or have little confidence. Doubt it's a disease though.
Also, some people are just genuinely nice people and it can backfire on them
I have been hit severely hard several times while doing good to others and still can't avoid it. people manipulate such ppl
Some people are just passive. Could be due to the way they've been brought up, and could be because they're are intimated easily or have little confidence. Doubt it's a disease though.
Also, some people are just genuinely nice people and it can backfire on them
^ yes true , but at the same time its imperative that we realize this world runs because we still have good people around us . if goodness started to disappear slowly , this world would have been full of angry animals and predators and hardly any people .
Wow. So you have now classified people who are way nicer than the usual crappy lot in the planet, as being someone with a mental disease. Kudos. This is what is wrong in the world. There's nothing wrong with someone who puts other peoples' happiness before others. There should be people who are selfless. I agree not to the extreme extent of being a doormat, but like CB said, it is always a pleasure to be around people who are extra friendly and actually make an effort!
Some people are just passive. Could be due to the way they've been brought up, and could be because they're are intimated easily or have little confidence. Doubt it's a disease though.
Also, some people are just genuinely nice people and it can backfire on them
I'm like that and I think it's due to my circumstances....I had to live with my relatives after my parents passed away and I learnt to keep everyone happy by not speaking my mind. I'm getting out of it now because I've realized that's not how I want to spend the rest of my life.
Respected DubaiWali .. i really didnt mean k 'way nicer' ppl have a mental disease...please read the opening post of the thread...there in the writer mentions about the doormat and how ppl manipulate such persons.
But in reality there are ppl who just can't say NO .. despite they want to ... they kill there needs not because they like sacrificing but because they are afraid of what ppl are going to say to them...
I am not talking about those who are obviously big hearts who sacrifice knowing they can say NO.
this is what they say 'people pleasing personality'...
Wow. So you have now classified people who are way nicer than the usual crappy lot in the planet, as being someone with a mental disease. Kudos. This is what is wrong in the world. There's nothing wrong with someone who puts other peoples' happiness before others. There should be people who are selfless. I agree not to the extreme extent of being a doormat, but like CB said, it is always a pleasure to be around people who are extra friendly and actually make an effort!
Some people with this 'people pleasing personality' can use it to their advantage and build connections, network and be really good at making friends. It jus depends on how a person shapes up. You can mold your traits to give advantage to you, or be a liability.
I agree about the doormat thing and I mentioned it as well. That's an extreme case, not everyone becomes a doormat though, those that have a people pleasing personality. There are people who keep a balance between themselves and people.
These kinds of people, those that just can't say 'no'. Yes, I don't like such people too. I have a mutual acquaintance with a friend, whose like this. She's become a doormat, can't say no, is way too nice for her own good. People should change themselves, when being too nice starts to hurt them and their image.
Respected DubaiWali .. i really didnt mean k 'way nicer' ppl have a mental disease...please read the opening post of the thread...there in the writer mentions about the doormat and how ppl manipulate such persons.
But in reality there are ppl who just can't say NO .. despite they want to ... they kill there needs not because they like sacrificing but because they are afraid of what ppl are going to say to them...
I am not talking about those who are obviously big hearts who sacrifice knowing they can say NO.
this is what they say 'people pleasing personality'...
Exactly .. But they are helpless poor ppl. They can't help themselves and need someone to mentor them and educate them to learn say no...or to develop courage to do what pleases them rather than do it in a trance of fear...
Most ppl in Pakistan don't ever visit a psychiatrist for a psycho analysis...i think all should go to psychs every 5 years at least to get a check up.
These kinds of people, those that just can't say 'no'. Yes, I don't like such people too. I have a mutual acquaintance with a friend, whose like this. She's become a doormat, can't say no, is way too nice for her own good. People should change themselves, when being too nice starts to hurt them and their image.
No disrespect meant, but in my humble opinion, these kinds of people don't need to go visit psychologists. Especially when they belong to a society in a country like Pakistan. These kinds of issues are taboo. No one cares about mental health or even thinks about it as a serious matter. What these kinds of people need are good honest friends who can help them. Good friends have the power to do that. They can change you. I can vouch from experience.
Exactly .. But they are helpless poor ppl. They can't help themselves and need someone to mentor them and educate them to learn say no...or to develop courage to do what pleases them rather than do it in a trance of fear...
Most ppl in Pakistan don't ever visit a psychiatrist for a psycho analysis...i think all should go to psychs every 5 years at least to get a check up.
No disrespect meant, but in my humble opinion, these kinds of people don't need to go visit psychologists. Especially when they belong to a society in a country like Pakistan. These kinds of issues are taboo. No one cares about mental health or even thinks about it as a serious matter. What these kinds of people need are good honest friends who can help them. Good friends have the power to do that. They can change you. I can vouch from experience.
I don't see it as a syndrome or disease, It's about your character how you have brought up or value others. Standing up for yourself doesn't always have to start with a fight, it is all about learning to communicate/expressing yourself properly in order to handle conflict in the right manner.
It is so much easier to 'bark back' and tell like how it is, but it takes a lot to bite your tongue and let people be, at least for me that is, I have a conscience and Alhamdulliah don't have any hang-ups/insecurities towards life or within my own self.
may be...me not a doc...tou no idea...i heard my psychiatrist talk about this so i did some R&D and it came to my knowledge
telephone, your psychictrist friend should not make up things. There is no such "People Pleasing Disoder" in the Diagnostic and Satistical Manual of Mental Disorder.
being nice does not automatically mean being weak. You have to differentiate b/w being assertive and being nice with opinion