Hiii ghupppies.How r u .I am new here ..par Here my story for a little intro …
Just guide mee wht should i do …
I am a 25-year old woman and I have been married for two-and-a-half years now. Prior to getting married, I had a one-year engagement period. During this time, my entire family expressed their dissatisfaction with this match, although one of my sisters is also married into this family. This man is 12 years older than me. He is quite experienced in relationships, so when he realised that my family was reluctant about this proposal, he told me that he would die without me. I was vulnerable and I fell for it. When my mother tried to reason with me, I fought back. Then, a few times when I went alone with him, he tried to get physical also. I am a very sensible girl, but I didn’t stop him. Once it became physical, I thought there was no turning back, even though I hadn’t crossed any limit; you know how shareef girls are. I thought that since he had touched me, only he could be my husband. I felt that if I backed out, Allah would punish me. So we got married and he promised to my parents and me, that he’d try his very best to keep me happy. The day I got married, he told me that he was regretting it and was already feeling tied up. Then, on our honeymoon, he took a friend along, as he felt bored in my company. I couldn’t object or tell anyone, as I was the one who had insisted on marrying him. I am quite good looking, but he told me that he didn’t find me pretty. Anyway, on our honeymoon, he dropped me at my cousin’s and went with his friend. After two days, I asked my cousin to drop me back at the hotel in U.A.E! I had to lie that my husband didn’t have transport. Sometime after we returned to Pakistan, he started abusing me. I am not allowed to pick up the phone in my house and I have to cover myself if we go out. Once, he even slapped me in front of his servants. My fault was that I had laughed at a silly thing that he had said! When I reacted, he apologised and hugged me. I forgave him because I was the one who had insisted upon marrying him, and didn’t want my parents to know I was unhappy. Later on, I conceived, which, I think was a mistake, because having kids mean you cannot take a serious step. I don’t want to break my house; I am a coward.
Off and on, he used to send me to my parents claiming that he had had enough of me. I was too embarrassed to stay at my parents’ house for long. Once my mother asked if everything was ok and I assured her that it was perfect. Then my mother developed cancer, and I was pregnant so I couldn’t confide in her about his aggressive behaviour. I didn’t want to cause anxiety to my dying mother. Within three months after the diagnosis, my mother died and I gave birth to a daughter.
After a short while, I found out that my husband was talking to some girl. When I found out, he apologised. So I forgave him, but can’t trust him completely. I was on contraceptive pills when I conceived again. I wanted an abortion, but my doctor talked me out of it, and my husband convinced me not to go for abortion. My daughter is now one-year old, and I have given birth to a baby boy. I am back in my home with my husband, but now I have a feeling that he doesn’t like me at all. I feel so depressed in my house taking care of two kids with no help. He has moved into the other room. He abuses me in front of people and hits me. If I ask him to let me go to my sister’s house, he says no. I am losing confidence, as he keeps telling me that I am abnormal. Sometimes, I want to go back to my parents’ house, but with my mother dead I can’t, as my dad works 12 hours a day, and is always travelling. I feel that God is punishing me for I had let a naamahrum (my husband) touch me before I got married. Please tell me what to do.
Deprived Soul
Everyone makes mistakes, the threadstarter already feels she’s being punished for her sins, she really doenst need any of your stupid comments making her feel worse.