That's our job- we need to make sure this happens. So in the end she can write
"Aur pair main gupshup likha, aur meri problem solve ho gai, and then I lived happily ever after."
On a side note, Are you SURE IT was BLACK MAGIC? are YOU SURE he's not attracted to some other chick- and you're just in denial about it? Maybe when he says, "I'm attracted to other girl" he just wants out, and is too embarrasded to say it, cuz he doesn't want society to label him as a cheater/player? So he wants YOU initiate the divorce?
That's our job- we need to make sure this happens. So in the end she can write
"Aur pair main gupshup likha, aur meri problem solve ho gai, and then I lived happily ever after."
On a side note, Are you SURE IT was BLACK MAGIC? are YOU SURE he's not attracted to some other chick- and you're just in denial about it? Maybe when he says, "I'm attracted to other girl" he just wants out, and is too embarrasded to say it, cuz he doesn't want society to label him as a cheater/player? So he wants YOU initiate the divorce?
I agree it is like they have been married for 5 years and her husband does not seem to behave like a normal man. Either he is getting it from somewhere else or he is gay.
13Mera7.. I can’t even imagine how hard it must’ve been for you to go through all this. But what I did see, is a woman who has made herself stronger in every attempt to make things better. You see, you’re not weak. If you were weak you would’ve given up after the first try!
I kind of agree on what annonymou5 said. You know that phrase right: 'You don’t know what you’ve got untill it’s gone’? You two should seperate for a while, and not contact eachother in any way whatsoever. That will give you some time to get away from the weird atmoshphere at your home, and it will give you some rest insh’Allah. And it will give him time to realize what he would miss, if you’d decide to divorce him.
Besides that, keep praying. Don’t forget to keep seeking Allah’s help in this. If you are meant to be together, it will be so. But if you’re not, then you should be satisfied with it. Allah ke har kaam mein behtari hoti hai, no doubt about that.
It is after all your life that he’s ruining isn’t it? It’s him who is stopping you from living a normal married life, isn’t he?
And if you do decide to divorce him, make sure you do istikharah. Allah’s guidance in these matters is extremely important.
May Allah make things easy for you sis, and may you find happiness in whatever choice you make.
seriously you want my valuable time on post which says "black magic" in it ??
yeah, you know, not too be judgmental, but I think her hubby;s cheating on her and he wants out, and their both sort of in denial about it and so their blaming it on black magic.
Again, I;m not trying to be judgmental, but when someone says "black magic," I seriously start thinking hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......
if he was cheating on her...i dont think he would have gone to all those doctors.
n i another thing is if he was cheating thn why not have relations with his wife too.
thats doesn't make sense to me.
Okay I've read and understood the entire post. Phew!
Firstly, enough respect to you for all that you've endured. You are one loyal and faithful spouse!! Be proud of yourself for that - not many women would have stayed so much as 5 days and you've gone 5 years.
It's not healthy for you to live like that. Please please get out of it. Marry someone else. You'll feel more complete as a woman with a man that can satisfy all your needs. Please listen to your dad.
fine.
love marriage btw two friends,
married 5 years,
no physical relations
black magic
she is mentally and phy. sick
but now better
still no phy relationship btw the husband n wife.
parents want her to get divorce
she is lost
From 3/4 of the first page down to now this page, most of you guys are throwing some light humour into the argument. Rationally spare a thought for the OP who seems stressed out. Eiher offer some advice or click on the jokes forum for some cheap kicks.
fine.
love marriage btw two friends,
married 5 years,
no physical relations
black magic
she is mentally and phy. sick
but now better
still no phy relationship btw the husband n wife.
parents want her to get divorce
she is lost
It takes a strong person to put up with this man for 5 long years, but I might get beat for saying this, but I don't think it was very sensible of you to waste your time on him like this. The 1st year with him like this was ALREADY too much time spent. I seriously wonder (and not to be mean, but seriously) whether a) he likes/liked someone else b) whether he is even attracted to women?
Thank you so much for responding guys.
I see most of the responses similar to what my dad/brothers and sisters say.
My heart feels the same way but i get so scared asking for divorce. He just put it in my mind so badly that i can never find a guy so caring as him. I just get so weak at that point that i literally tell my dad that i think i can live with him without any relationship and kids my whole life. And i do feel that way at that time. Then later on when i think about it i feel thats so stupid. whats wrong with you. I was never like this but he has made me so weak. I am just trying to be strong but i dont know how. Sometimes i think he is not doing it purposely. He doesnt know why he is doing, probably he is going thru some problem too. But then i think ok so if he is not doing it purposely, still he had 5 years to figure out what the hell is the problem and he could have started working on the problem.
When he cries, i start feeling guilty and i just feel how can i do that to POOR him. I dont know i was never like this but he has made me soo confused. I really felt good about your responses. It really made me feel like i m not crazy or its not that my expectations are too high.
Okay I've read and understood the entire post. Phew!
And was there some black magic done on you that's preventing you from telling us the details?
Regardless, of whether it's black magic, or cheating, or whatever, fact is he's not consummating the marriage and you need a divorce, and in Islam you have that right, especially if your her husband is denying you.
So what's stopping you? you need to marry someone else, unless you want to keep living with you roommate of a husband childless for life.
And normally I don't recommend divorce either. I realize the social implications of divorce, but how different will your life be married, without any children, etc? Also the social image your putting on with the 'perfect couple' thing is only hurting you. Maybe you should tell more people about it, so that when your divorced, people will understand what's going on so it's not like a shock to everyone.
Thank you so much for responding guys.
I see most of the responses similar to what my dad/brothers and sisters say.
My heart feels the same way but i get so scared asking for divorce. He just put it in my mind so badly that i can never find a guy so caring as him. I just get so weak at that point that i literally tell my dad that i think i can live with him without any relationship and kids my whole life. And i do feel that way at that time. Then later on when i think about it i feel thats so stupid. whats wrong with you. I was never like this but he has made me so weak. I am just trying to be strong but i dont know how. Sometimes i think he is not doing it purposely. He doesnt know why he is doing, probably he is going thru some problem too. But then i think ok so if he is not doing it purposely, still he had 5 years to figure out what the hell is the problem and he could have started working on the problem.
When he cries, i start feeling guilty and i just feel how can i do that to POOR him. I dont know i was never like this but he has made me soo confused. I really felt good about your responses. It really made me feel like i m not crazy or its not that my expectations are too high.
Also, i think you are suffering from depression- guilt is a very important indicator (along with the phyhsical symptoms) and also the they what your husband is doing is called emotional abuse. I;m not making this stuff up-i'm in med school, and we learned it there.
I suggest you go see a psychiatrist too. He can really help you.
Thank you so much for responding guys.
I see most of the responses similar to what my dad/brothers and sisters say.
My heart feels the same way but i get so scared asking for divorce. He just put it in my mind so badly that i can never find a guy so caring as him. I just get so weak at that point that i literally tell my dad that i think i can live with him without any relationship and kids my whole life. And i do feel that way at that time. Then later on when i think about it i feel thats so stupid. whats wrong with you. I was never like this but he has made me so weak. I am just trying to be strong but i dont know how. Sometimes i think he is not doing it purposely. He doesnt know why he is doing, probably he is going thru some problem too. But then i think ok so if he is not doing it purposely, still he had 5 years to figure out what the hell is the problem and he could have started working on the problem.
When he cries, i start feeling guilty and i just feel how can i do that to POOR him. I dont know i was never like this but he has made me soo confused. I really felt good about your responses. It really made me feel like i m not crazy or its not that my expectations are too high.
Honey, really. He's not worth it. Why are you putting your life aside for someone who's not even willing to put some effort in trying to make things better for your marriage?
Remember, it's your life and you deserve to be happy.
Hi **
**Abb masla yae tha kay his physical response was just NORMAL but he didnt have any feelings for me only or if he ever tried to have any physical contact with me he felt like frozen. .
Stop being childish.
I can’t even imagine how hard it must’ve been for you to go through all this. But what I did see, is a woman who has made herself stronger in every attempt to make things better. You see, you’re not weak. If you were weak you would’ve given up after the first try!