I got married around 5 years ago. Well first it was nikkah and then after year and a half I got married. It was a love marriage from my husbands side and it was kind of love marriage from my side too.
After my nikkah, i realized at different times that my husband doesnt have any interest in me anymore. But i wasnt sure but aisay hi thori kuch batain ya harkatain aisi hoi kay i realized kay un ka woh josh o kharaosh khatam ho gaya hai towards me. I ignored it.
Phir humari shadi hoi. Shadi kay day per he insisted he wanted to go to work :). n usko jaisay koi interest hi nahi tha shadi per aanay ko bhee. anyways shadi hoi. I still remember kay dulhan banay hoay bhee mujhay koi dar tha bas dil main kay ajj say bachoo ur life is gonna be horriable. pata nahi kyo but i kept getting really bad feelings. Shadi ki night ko hi we went for our honeymoon for a week. He didnt talk to me that night. And then the whole time he kept avoiding me.
Is time main i convinced him to go to doctor and get checked up cuz i thought kay he has some physical problem. Abb masla yae tha kay his physical response was just NORMAL but he didnt have any feelings for me only or if he ever tried to have any physical contact with me he felt like frozen.
Abb jab main larti thi he used to fight bak and get mad at me n then normal ho jata tha sorry kahta tha phir kitni times us say Quran per hath rakh kay qasam khai kay mujhay nahi pata kia ho raha hai why is this happeneing but main jan kay nahi kar raha hai. But i dont know aisa kyo ho raha hai. Bas chor do sub cheezo ko aisay hi and aisay hi raho. I send him to atleast 15 different doctors, went with him from urologist to endocronologist to psychologist. Kisi ko samaj hi nahi aati thi kay kia problem hai and sub reports normal aye. After that i told my sister and she was like i know this baba jee n woh koi dua bata dain gay Quran say main un say baat karti hoo. She went and told him the whole story.
Unho nay koi hisab lagaya and told us that someone has done black magic on us and its really really strong and it was done around at the time of my nikkah. That we should see some religious person to get rid of it. He said he cant help us because he was too old to take care of all this. Is say pehlay kuch weird stuff did happen at my home but i never thought about it cuz mujhay black magic wagaira ka kuch pata hi nahi tha.
Phir thoray time baad mujh per beemariyan aanay laggi jin ka kissi doctor ko kuch samaj nahi aati thi. temperature hota tha to mujhay sans nahi aata tha, emergency lay kar jatay thay un ko kuch samaj hi nahi atti thi. Kabhi CAT scans hotay kabhi heart check kartay. Stomach ki problems hoti thi and gastroentrologist tak gaye us ko kuch samaj hi nahi ati thi. They used to say its very weird. Bas phir ahista ahista i stopped going to doctors cuz i knew kia answer milnay wala hai. Main nay job chor di cuz tabeeyat itni kharab ho gaye thi, her time body main pain hota tha, raat ko sonay lagti thi to bed hilta tha, kabhi koi sotay main utha daita tha, sarri sarri raat jagti rehti thi and Quran parti thi, aisi ajeeb ajeeb cheezain hoti thi kay bas choro but sirf maeray sath. My husband was all fine.The only problem with him was that he never had any interest in ME only.
I wasnt willing to leave my husband because mujhay dikhta tha kay uski koi fault nahi hai. he is suffering with me. Haan uski fault ye hai kay he is a bit lazy and he doesnt wanna do any effort but just wanna watch tv. He just wanted kay sub cheezin khod say hi theek ho jaee and usko kuch na karna paray. Finally sub nay mind bana liya kay divorce kar laitay hain.
Finally i found someone who took care of this thing. Maeray sath 1001 problem within 2 days khatam hoi. I know alot of people wont believe it but trust me main 5 sath rahi ho sub problems kay sath i know kia kia hoa maeray sath and kaisay stop hoa. Abb masla yae hai kay my husband still doesnt get no feelings for me. He still says that when he sees other girls he gets attracted but when he looks at me he doesnt feel anything.
Main last 5 years say bas her cheeze ko better karnay kay liye fight kar rahi hoo, usko tension nah ho, batain batdasht karoo. Jab bhe main koi complain karti hoo kay its not normal kay hum aisay reh rahay hain kay we are not even wife and husband, he starts getting mad at me. He thinks i expect alot. We still never had any physical relationship EVER.
I still want to help my husband and even though i know kay main ander say toooooooot chuki hoon, patience khatam ho gaya hai and i cant take it anymore but still main kaisay na kaisay uski help kar do gi agar woh thora himat karay but he doesnt wanna do anything for the relationship.
My mom tells me not to take divorce and live with it the whole life. My dad tells me to go separate ways on a good note. Its probably not meant to be this way so Allah ki koi maslayhat ho gi. And thora mushkil ho ga in the begining but phir sub theek ho jaee ga. My brothers and sisters agree with my dad too considering the whole situation. But jab bhee main koi decisoin lainay lagti hoon mujhay dar lagta hai kay mujhay life main uskay jitna acha shaid koi na milay, main weak ho jati hoo cuz living with him for 5 years now i m so used to him i think and its painful now to leave him.
**Jab chornay ki baat ati hai so kahta hai kay abhi main mentally ready nahi hoon..i cant leave u …i see us getting old together …bas maera dimag is baat ko accept nahi karta hai.?? Kabhi kuch kabhi kuch…her thora time baad aik naye statement nikalti hai…mujhay aik statement milti hai…apnay ghar aik …maeray ghar wali ko aik aur kahani…friends ko aik aur kahani…mujhay lagta hai yae theek ho jaee gay main pagal ho jaoo gi **
And now come up with an answer that might actually help her.