May Allah shower you with Allah's blessings , bounties and mercies. Ameen.
It is good that you let it out , that will lighten your heart too.
I read each and every word of your post. Although I do not read long posts , but I did since you were so honest and open from the first sentence.
Why you are not getting your postnatal depression treated ? What seems to be problem with that ? your husband sounds to caring a loving person.
thanks Mirch:) yeas my husband is absolutely the most caring and loving person on this planet and I am so blessed and lucky to be married to him!!!!! :D :D
I am not getting any treatment cuz when I was going through the test results with the personell at the clinic I told them that I felt certain stuff due to the upcoming wedding and she said that things will get better once its all over...little did she know about my jaahil extendend family that messed it all up!!!
I guess I will contact them aain and start a treatment soon so I can start smiling againg and start feeling alive again...
Just spoke to mum...feel like I am going to explode!!!they are making issues of nothing!!!my bro is acting very immature!!!!and my oldest sister is misuing the whole sitaution to position herself and her husband eventhough her husband practically didnt help much with the wedding but she is trying to make him look like a hero.
BIL hasnt been in parents good book for a while and is even worse now...
I feel like crying out loud...too exhausted to type it all right now....cancelled my programme for today.was supposed to visit someone today..and she had even cooked for us...but I just couldt cope with the thought of her asking about my sister's wedding and me trying to give a false impression at a time where I am unable to even smile for myself....
i feel suffocated....i dont want to call my parents for a while...but dad is ill and mum feels lonely while their only son is yelling at them for NO reason and he isnt speaking to bhabi either....aaaarrrrggghhhhh
Take a break from your family.....in fact I think it's better for you to maintain a distance from some of them. And for those members that you CAN get along with and feel need your attention most....such as your dad.....consider spending time with him outside of your parents home or in a situation where other stressful people (such as your bro, etc) won't ruin things.
There comes a time when you realize it's better to keep a distance...and sadly this sometimes has to be done with immediate family too.
in one of the threads if i write - i wonder if you would find it funny if your mum and sis were caught in bed/ or if you mum and sis were raped / or if your mum and sis were physically abused - farz kero what if
i wanna see u laugh on that RV
^Haan you are absolutely right, chaibiskut.
Deeba had asked what would he do if his mom and sister were going through the same scenario. And if is basically like saying farz karo in Urdu. And to say farz karo is such a gunnah....it's like stating a reality. I have learned a valuable lesson from your grave mistake, Deebs. I have learned that you should never say words like "what if" "hypothetically speaking" "imagine/pretend" and "farz karo." I must post this lesson in Nisha's "What Have You Learned?" thread. It is great material for me to reflect upon with the utmost concentration whilst I meditate before my favorite TV shows.
in one of the threads if i write - i wonder if you would find it funny if your mum and sis were caught in bed/ or if you mum and sis were raped / or if your mum and sis were physically abused - farz kero what if
i wanna see u laugh on that
she didnt say it would be funny:/
She said dont laugh at others or make fun of others who are going through a serious issue because if you emptahize with them and imagine someone you care about in that position you would not do that.
read again i said LOL to muzna comment about me nothing to do with OP
again i didnt not laugh at anyones terrible situation i LOLed at munza on her comment about me.
got it?
this is what she wrote:
I wonder if it he'd find it so funny if it was his sis or mum going thru it..
she didnt say it would be funny:/
She said dont laugh at others or make fun of others who are going through a serious issue because if you emptahize with them and imagine someone you care about in that position you would not do that.
in one of the threads if i write - i wonder if you would find it funny if your mum and sis were caught in bed/ or if you mum and sis were raped / or if your mum and sis were physically abused - farz kero what if
i wanna see u laugh on that RV
And unlike YOU, Villageyaar.............I have the maturity to know the difference between a hypothetical situation and a real one. I know when one says "IF" ....then that's like saying "Farz karo.."..........and that's not a gaali. But you seem to have equated it to a cuss word. Heck...even when I'm talking about a negative situation to my mom and said "Farzo karo...agar aap ka saath/hamaray saath aisa hua hota"........she doesn't take it as an insult because it is obvious to those that have sound comprehensiont...that the purpose of posing hypothetical situation is to coax empathy, to think of a situation from different perspective, to sort out your thoughts, etc. There's a difference between saying to someone "I hope your sister gets raped" and "What would you do IF your sister had been raped or was in that situation." You seem to think of the former as a bud-dua or something and that's not the case.
Take a break from your family.....in fact I think it's better for you to maintain a distance from some of them. And for those members that you CAN get along with and feel need your attention most....such as your dad.....consider spending time with him outside of your parents home or in a situation where other stressful people (such as your bro, etc) won't ruin things.
There comes a time when you realize it's better to keep a distance...and sadly this sometimes has to be done with immediate family too.
I wish it was so easy so take my dad out but I live in another country and we dont meet each other so often. Only way to communicate to him is on phone or text messages. I get more worried when not around him..
congratulations on your healthy baby boy.. it can be hard dealing with all new emotions after giving birth, and ontop of that dealing with family issues i cant even imagine what that may feel like. Don't get carried away in your family issues.. baby's grow up really fast you dont want to miss out on anything..
These days with your baby will not come back. Enjoy this time as much as you can if possible. Try to get yourself excused from the drama if you can but be there for your dad in the background. maybe you can invite him over to spend time with his grandson? Take your son out for walks, or play groups etc. You will feel better if you are with other new moms. The first few months postpartum are hard to begin with and family drama doesnt help. I think i even had postpartum blues till my daughter was 1 mostly from lack of sleep.
I still don't understand what was so funny about my post that SK had to LOL at it.
i dunno...maybe a language/cultural barrier...difference in humor.
I got my eyebrows threaded by this Indian woman...and I could tell that she hadn't been in the country long....she kept laughing and laughing and laughing that I had put nivea on my face. "You know my mother also put neeeveeeaaa on her face.......heheheheheheheheheh hahahahahahahahaha hehehehehe hahahah." It was strange.
Congrats on a perfect little baby and kudos for being such a strong lady.
Don't worry about anyone else; when we have kids out focus needs to shift slightly.
Its okay to take care of your immeiate family (hubs and baby) for a little while.
*u got no clue what i wrote and what i meant/what i wanted to ask
u got no clue how i usually contribute
u ve got a serious problem with me n my posts
completely irrelevant to the topic just because you wanted to respond to my post ("good to changed it, otherwise i would have banned u or something")
you would be the one who would eventually be responsible for derailing the thread (i would respond, u ll reply, others will jump in, etc. etc.)
predicting at some point u would mention to exercise your authority - to even ban me (which you did to STA)
looking forward for comments by deeba, rv, etc.
i.e. LOL
*my fav
for reference - in the original post (which i erased later) i asked the OP whether both of them (husband n herself) had pissed off their parents and thats why they were not cooperating, etc. then i read it again and the issue was way to complicated and i didnt want to be part of the Q&A. now the wisdom behind me asking is nothing to with anything except to find out of it could have been their mistake. my philosophy is no matter how much the next person is at mistake first one should find out his/her own mistake (for a variety of reasons) if you yourself are at fault then in my opinion you should rectify/apologize first and then if the behaviour of that person is unchanges figure out what is the matter. so rather than jumping the gun and blaming the other person of mistakes/faults/flaws one should first determine their own. and this is what i was wondering in the case of OP.
i dont know how does it seem nasty in any sense form or whatever, but im not here to clear that from people's mind
on a lighter note - i admit im from lahore not educated btw i own shops in lhr therefore language barrier mightve been the case - my eng not good as you can clear see/read also i dont review my posts lol
ps just as a rule of tumb if someone finds something offensive others should respect it (assuming a number of reasons, as well as giving the benefit of doubt for not fully understanding the reasons behind it) - based on this, the people who say this is ridiculious reflect their own personality
I still don't understand what was so funny about my post that SK had to LOL at it.
For a while I have been focusing on my health and my baby. I have been going out for long walks daily without the tension to call back home and coordinate the rishta process or any other headache issue...I have been focusing a lot on my diet as well and combined with the long walks I am finally loosing some of the wieght I have gained due to pregnancy. hurray! :D
however whenever I do call my parents a new story starts. they seem to interpret every single thing as a result of my sister's marriageg into a so-called low caste family. it seems that they are considering themselves as victims of a socail boycott around them, both from relatives and friends cuz they didnt inform anyone about the wedding and married their daughter to a man who belongs to a caster lower than theirs.....I had never imagined that my family belongs to such ignorant ppl..but unfortunately they do!!no matter how much I try to see the positives they success to bring in the negatives!!!
Most of all I feel bad cuz their financial situation is so bad that they are lacking behind in everything. while I am saving for a new house and stuff..am I being wrong? why am I feeling bad about fulfilling my dreams when I have already helped them earlier on but due to their lack of planning they keep falling into the same financial burden....I want to save now so that I can be home with the kids later on. if i give away my savings I have to start all over again and wont be able to spend time with the kids in their young age....my parents dont know about my saving though but they do know that hubby and I are quiet well-off .....
