Re: Need to vent..
i will say be careful next time.
Re: Need to vent..
@munza sorry i had to go away - what im gonna do is blog a post and we can discuss whatever issues you have with my comments there like civilized ppl, i will suggest you some of my posts to read so you have a better idea how i contribute - if you are not willing to do anything then you can exercise your authority bannad me blocked me whatever you want, my life is no gona change and so will yours
@STA did you find my original first pst disturbing?
Re: Need to vent..
ditch your family for a while. dont talk to them, dont advice them, dont offer any services, if they put a show for you close your eyes, dont take calls, dont expect any calls, if they bad mouth you let them cuz you are bad and accept it sooner the better, even if someone offers any help dont take it.
take a deep breath, see a doctor, take care of your health, you baby, your husband, and recite Quran as much possible as you can.
Read good stuff, Cook healthy food, and work out...you will see a difference in your life.
ps. sooner you get healthy, the better your decision making ability will be.
Re: Need to vent..
Chameli, Congrats on having a baby. Consider yourself lucky as only the fortunate people in this world are blessed with children.
You need to distance yourself from your family. Your family is going through difficult times. You have contributed a lot in their tough times and they should be grateful to you for that but you shouldn't continue on the expense of your health and your happiness. You have some responsibilities towards your parents so try to fulfil them (by paying them on monthly basis an amount and doing some khidmat). But you are not responsible to solve your siblings' problems. Relationships are not One way. Your family should also need to understand that you need them. If they start to respond in a positive way, you will be lucky. Otherwise, you need to focus on your baby and husband. Your baby needs your love and attention and you need to care for your husband also since he is the one who is always there for you. Make your priorities clear and stick to them. Everything will be fine.
Re: Need to vent..
@STA did you find my original first pst disturbing?
I know you are good guy here, and you were not intending to hurt OP, and you immediately realized that something is wrong. In my opinion, you did right thing at right time.
Re: Need to vent..
no, i didnt realized something is wrong - this is what happens when ppl assume stuff
i changes my post for 2 reasons, 1 i read her post again 2 i didnt want to contribute any further to this thread - i dont need anyones sympathy this is like any other forum on the internet to pass time
muzna should clean up all this now imo
I know you are good guy here, and you were not intending to hurt OP, and you immediately realized that something is wrong. In my opinion, you did right thing at right time.
i wonder if deeba got infraction because of insulting my sis and mother
Re: Need to vent..
no, i didnt realized something is wrong - this is what happens when ppl assume stuff
i changes my post for 2 reasons, 1 i read her post again 2 i didnt want to contribute any further to this thread - i dont need anyones sympathy this is like any other forum on the internet to pass time
muzna should clean up all this now imo
i wonder if deeba got infraction because of insulting my sis and mother
I said I wondered if you would find it so funny if what happened to the OP was happening to your own sis or mother.. how is that an insult??
No, I didn't get an infraction.. Am not expecting to get one for that either thanks
Re: Need to vent..
I said I wondered if you would find it so funny if what happened to the OP was happening to your own sis or mother.. how is that an insult??
No, I didn't get an infraction.. Am not expecting to get one for that either thanks
trust me....calling someone out on their douche-baggery is a personal insult to some dudes. :)
Re: Need to vent..
SK is good guy.
lolololololololol
Re: Need to vent..
How did she insult them? 
Re: Need to vent..
^She posed a hypothetical situation…which was perceived as the “real thing”…and thus equivalent to a gaali. I am appalled at you Deeba. I expected better. :no:
Re: Need to vent..
aww focus on ur baby. There seems alot on ur plate. Tell your parents that they will be fine.Sooner or later you had to get over the racist attitude.Its all in the head and if this decision has offended the extended family so much then i say your family is so much better without them.
you shud really focus on yourself now .And if ur husband has been there for u, i guess thats more than enough.
Re: Need to vent..
Yes Deeba, shame shame. I am in total agreement with RV.
Clearly you didn’t get the GS memo on what qualifies as an insult. You see, imaginary insults are just as grave as actual insults. What you actually said is irrelevant - if the other person’s feelings are hurt because of something you didn’t say, you still deserve infraction points. Why? Just in case, preemptive measures, and because you ought to be more sensitive young lady, really. If you’re still confused, please refer to the following illustration. A desi parent randomly slaps their kid while the poor sod is playing, minding his own business :
Kid (bawling after thappar khai-ing) : “Arrey?! Maine kya kiya?!”
Parent : “You never know. Just in case.”
The above, by the way, happens to be an effective parenting technique. Please also note that when a subcontinental male hears maa aur behen in any context, they will logically conclude that you are questioning their paternity.
Re: Need to vent..
^Haan you are absolutely right, chaibiskut.
Deeba had asked what would he do if his mom and sister were going through the same scenario. And if is basically like saying farz karo in Urdu. And to say farz karo is such a gunnah....it's like stating a reality. I have learned a valuable lesson from your grave mistake, Deebs. I have learned that you should never say words like "what if" "hypothetically speaking" "imagine/pretend" and "farz karo." I must post this lesson in Nisha's "What Have You Learned?" thread. It is great material for me to reflect upon with the utmost concentration whilst I meditate before my favorite TV shows.
Re: Need to vent..
Chameli do you mind telling us which castes were considered "low" and "high?" It is so sad how people still categorize classes. You did a great thing by helping your sister marry the man she wanted to!
Re: Need to vent..
Your reply was one of those I was looking forward to read as you are always so reflective…par ye kya hua? 
Re: Need to vent..
hmmm SK and co..please take ur discussion somewhere else..this is MY venting room!!!!
Re: Need to vent..
Chameli do you mind telling us which castes were considered "low" and "high?" It is so sad how people still categorize classes. You did a great thing by helping your sister marry the man she wanted to!
Apparantly the guy's family belongs to some carpenter caste while my parents/family belongs to Choudaries..
I consider myself Muslim only and acted upon that belief!
Re: Need to vent..
Chameli, Congrats on having a baby. Consider yourself lucky as only the fortunate people in this world are blessed with children.
You need to distance yourself from your family. Your family is going through difficult times. You have contributed a lot in their tough times and they should be grateful to you for that but you shouldn't continue on the expense of your health and your happiness. You have some responsibilities towards your parents so try to fulfil them (by paying them on monthly basis an amount and doing some khidmat). But you are not responsible to solve your siblings' problems. Relationships are not One way. Your family should also need to understand that you need them. If they start to respond in a positive way, you will be lucky. Otherwise, you need to focus on your baby and husband. Your baby needs your love and attention and you need to care for your husband also since he is the one who is always there for you. Make your priorities clear and stick to them. Everything will be fine.
thanks dear:) but its not easy doing my parents khidmat while being in another country. I can only call and listen to them but they have stopped telling me stuff cuz I have told them about my postnatal depression and also been crying a lot while visiting them last time cuz i just couldnt bear with things anymore...seeing my father being so weak and ill and all the other stuff our family went through just made me cry so much..now my parents dont tell me if they are not well..
Re: Need to vent..
@munza sorry i had to go away - what im gonna do is blog a post and we can discuss whatever issues you have with my comments there like civilized ppl, i will suggest you some of my posts to read so you have a better idea how i contribute - if you are not willing to do anything then you can exercise your authority bannad me blocked me whatever you want, my life is no gona change and so will yours
@STA did you find my original first pst disturbing?
yes please do so..go to a blog and continue ur discussion there..I am way too tired to undertand what u guys are discussing....