hello all
i often read different problems on this forum regarding life and relationships and have aways found that some really good advice is given by many of you and so i here to present my own problem
i have been married for the last five and a half years and we have 2 beautiful kids.we are living a comfortable life but something is ruining my marriage.the problem is from the day one my hubby doesnt like the way i talk.even i sometimes dont like the way i talk.i am loud and quick to loose my temper.and i can tell you why.
i am,most unluckily,like my father.he is a great father and husband but like most pakistani guys,he was quite loud and quick to loose his anger(i know i am repeating my self)my mother on the other hand is your typical pakistani wife.always polite and very soft.it was not like my father was oppressive in anyway.my mom is a professor and my father have given her every facility and freedom possible.but he was and still is domineering and at time quite impolite.and i have followed his path.
i am speaking loudly with my husband even if we are talking about a normal subject.and he gets really put off.i tried telling him that it is not my intention to be rude or imppolite but he is no more paying attention to it.i think i fulfill my job as a wife and mother to good extent but my loud behaviour which my hubby take as a rude behavior is causing a lot of trouble.he was brought up in a typical pakistani mahool in which women are usually very quiet and soft which i am not.his mother and sisters are very soft and very quiet although they all are opiniated.sometimes in anger,i say some really nasty thing which i know in my heart no other pakistani man will tolerate but my hubby does but now i think he is getting really fed up.
he is a very nice man,a very nice father,but he is getting frustrated now and does not speak to me and look at a lot as if he doesnt like to and it is very sad and insulting to me.
so tell me what to do.i have tried to be kind and soft spoken but how can you erase your 25 year of family life in which you were brought up and become a different person in 5 years.excuse my for the long rant but i am very worried about my marriage.
well it is better to tell all this to ur husband. because when u tell him, only then he would be able to think deeply and ignore ur anger because he will better know about ur bad things. tell him that ur also worried and got sick of ur anger bt its just not finishing. convince him that this will not be finished in one or 2 years change needs time but still u also hate this thing in ur personality.
u will see that Insha Allah he will consider and everything will be allright soon.
regards
:)