Re: need some serious guidance
Sorry I didn't read all posts only 1 or 2.
Honey buney most men don't like loud and ghussay wali wife.
You know what It's very hard to change yourself very quickly but if you would continuously try then one day insha Allah you will succeed.
First thing always try to ask forgiveness from your husband on you wrong attitude as you can't change yourself over night. That will make him realize that you are realizing your wrong way and shirminda on that.
Also tell him that I just saw this whole my life and I learned and didn't know that it's wrong but as you told me or made me realize that it's wrong. Now I want to change myself and trying my best to change. I also need your help if any time I make mistake you have to forgive me as I can't change overnight.
Ask forgiveness from him for all the bad things you did in the past. Also mention that such and such things I didn't was wrong so fogive me.
Ppl who do that due to different factors.
- Mahol.
- Misbehaviour from family member(s) continuously or whole life.
- Got no one to listen to you.
- Zulm and ziadti being done to you for whole life.
Now you have to think that he is not responsible for all or any of that so why he would suffer.
All the time try to be happy.
Hang in your room some happy face even in computer for screen saver use happy face and happy thought.
Try to tareef your husband. You know tareef win lots of things. Uski pasand na pasand ka khiaal rakhain. Uska kahna manaain. You know her mard chata hai biwi uska her hukm baja laay. Agar aik taraf aap ghalti karti hain to doosri taraf say ussay pata lain yani pyaar mohabbat ziada karain agar naheen kar sakteen to izhaar karain. Pyar mohabbat aur khuloos say pataya ja sakta hai.
Ghussay kay waqt kuch na kahain. Chahay wo ghussa kar raha ho ya aap ko ghussa aa raha ho. Yaqeenun zindagi hamaish suhani naheen hoti aur ghussa ana bhi normal hai. Baad main apna ghussa utar sakteen hain wo batain jo ghalat hain un per baat kar kay. Us waqt agar aap ghussa karain gi bhi to us main itna shiddat naheen ho ga dono taraf say.
Rule bana lain aik waqt main aik hi ghussa karay. Baad main aap baat karain. Haan ghussa us waqt ziada ata hai jub aap bohat si baton ko chorti chali jaati hon gi aur aik waqt bohat ghussa karti hoon gi.
Jub ghussa aay ya jo baat buri lagay us ka ghussa utar lia karain to itna ziada ghussa naheen aay ga. Laikin koshish karain aik waqt main kay ghussa honay ka rule aap apna ghussa baad main utaarain laikin ziaada baat na karain.
I know wo zaroor aisi baat ya aisa kaam karta ho ga jis pay aap ko ghussa ata ho ga. Koshish karain extra sensitive na hon kisi maamlay pay.
Always keep reminding yourself that you don't have to get mad that much aur cheekhna naheen hai na hi zor say baat karna hai.
Try to record your ghussa in a movie or voice recorder listen to that then you will realize better where and what and how you do wrong. I'm sure it will help you alot.
Jub ghussa aay to Kalima parahain, Innallah maas sabereen parhain, Pani peeaain, Khari hain to baith jain aur baithi hain to lait jain.
Apnay mind ko kisi aur taraf laga dain.
Us baat ko baar baar na yaad karain na hi purani baat ko.
In sub kay saath meri dua hai Allah aap ki aur aap jaisi/jaisay tamaam logon ki madaad karay sahi honay main Ameen.
Allah aap kay aur doosray/doosri kay husband/wife kay dil main aap/unkay husband/wife kay liaay mohabbat o hamdardi paida karay ameen.
Good luck.