Hi to all…Well i need some advice from u people..I am going to Pakistan in a few days..My husband is not going with me and i don’t have any kids yet.So should i go to my in-laws at first or to my mum’s place?Me and my hubby didn’t have any discussion over that till yet..Some people suggest me that i should go to my in-laws at first while others say there is no need for that as I am coming to Pakistan for the first time after marriage and that too alone..So could u people plz help me decide what should i do? thanks alot..
Re: Need Some General Advice..
Go home. Rest. Relax. Day or two later go to your in-laws place. Your mom is still your mom. Regardless of your marriage. I hate this notion that once a girls get married the in laws is their only family. **** that. You have your mom and dad and you go to them.
Re: Need Some General Advice..
Go home. Rest. Relax. Day or two later go to your in-laws place. Your mom is still your mom. Regardless of your marriage. I hate this notion that once a girls get married the in laws is their only family. **** that. You have your mom and dad and you go to them.
Daayyum!
Ainee - I am assuming your parents and in-laws live in the same city? Who's picking you up from the airport?
Also, if your in-laws are the type to create a fuss about these issues, then go there first, just to avoid unnecessary drama. Otherwise, if it was me and I was by myself, I'd go to my parents first and then go to my in-laws.
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Going to your mom's place might create some problems depending on your in-laws level of tolerance and their past behaviour. I suggest it would be great if you casually and humbly suggest your in-laws and husband's opinions if you can visit your mom's place first. I don't think they will force you to come to their place if they are good, educated and cultured people because for them, it would be important that you ACTUALLY considered their opinion and took their suggestion.
There are always two ways of doing what you want to do. 1. Do it your way and give a damn to others AND 2. Do it diplomatically. Theres nothing wrong in being diplomatic if it saves you from future problems.
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ainee more than us GS folk, it should be the mutual decision of you and the husband. There are many things that count in a situation like this. Just as someone said above, it could be as easy as you would go with whoever is willing to pick you. If your inlaws are much excited about you coming over and are willing to make it to the airport to receive you and all that, you cannot possibly refuse and still insist to go to your mom's first. Whatever people say, the fact remains undeniable that your inlaws *is *your family now. Well this is how our system works. So you got to:
*talk to your husband, lets see whats his stance about it. Dont let it be an issue to create rift between you both.
*see for response from your inlaws.
*if the inlaws are easy peasy and not much involved and excited, simply arrange to go to your mom, take rest and all to your heart's fill. And then you may go and see the inlaws too.
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Well if i were in your place, i would definately discuss this with my husband and decide what is needed to be done.
Most likely, I know if i was in such a situation and consulted my parents regarding this, they would ask me to visit my inlaws first and then come home.
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I would say go and see your in-laws first. Although it might all be hunky dory for you to go to your mum's house now and your in-laws are fine with it, it might create some issues later on in the future.
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And things like these shouldn't me made an issue of ego! When you have to live and adjust into a new family or/and keep good ties with them, you have to do these things to make sure everything is well between two families. Your family is bound to be more understanding compared to the inlaws so its always better not to take any chances at the cost of your relationship with them.
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i always go to my in laws n my parents also suggest me this bc after wedding ur home is now ur in laws after few hours u can go to ur mum home or if late night stay at in laws n then next morning 2 mum home
both my in laws n parents come 2 pick me at air port i meet them there n then visit them later
i have seen some ladies who straight go to their parents n then in laws mind this thing so its better u should discuss this wth ur huby
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i would go straight to inlaws first. it's common courtesy. family will understand, inlaws might not. bases cover kar lo
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Its not even a question . Everyone knows that you'll have to go to food street first . dauh .
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If husband goes with me...in laws....if i go alone....mom's place. Ut then my inlaws arent the crazy kind.... They dont care...
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Really? Discuss this with your husband? You have to freaking ask your husband if you should go to your home first or his? Am I the only one who sees this as insane?
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its not because husand has the issue…its the saas and nand and aunties that could potentially cause phadda-shadda… women you know…
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What CM said
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The diplomatic Ashy2010 gets the job done and eliminates "phadda-shadda"
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When i go to KHI, I go straight to my MIL's and keep that as my home base even though inhave a gazillion chachas, phuppis and cousins who want me to go with them straight from the airport.
However..when my father moved back there a few years back and I went go be with him while he was ill, my husband told his mom straight up that I was going to spend time with my papa, and she was not to get upset or put pressure on me to stay with her.
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i actually agree wiht this
husband might not see any issue but its’ the women in the in laws who can create issues out of something like this. That’s why she’s asking us…and not hte husband.
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but do u people consider this thing that i am going alone without my husband plus this is the first time that i am going to pakistan after marriage...so should i still go to in-laws?
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yeah y not?