Finally I've told my parents about him and my relationship with that "man". My parents say that I should give him a chance. The day he'll be here, they'll give him a HUGE lecture...He is really a chicken when my parents know his negative points or talk about it.....he also know my brothers...who will kill him when they'll know that he "plays" with my feelings and life!!
My parents, aunty and sister gave me advise to try for the last time...If there will be anything between us...They will stand behind me!!
SO Shall I give it a try? Even I don't want to?
And yes I'm not going to quit my job...And ofcourse I will start my study....And obviously I will move to my own house, which I will decorate within few weeks....And I love my car!! I've, Mashallah, got everything I wanted in my life!! I've got my family who stand behinds me...They also have some regrets about this ristha...But it's fate.. I can't blame them...
I felt terrible coz of him...But I think I allowed him to...I expected TOO much love, respect and careness from him...I haven't got.......Childeren?? No I don't want childeren from him!!
I want to take revenge on that B*****D.....If he comes here....He is going to be the one in the GOLDEN JAIL...NOT ME!!!! Any stupid thing he will say to me..I'll directly call my parents....He is a man who only can talk LOUDLY to his wife...BUt can't do it with others....
It's my fault that I haven't discussed everything earlier....I said some things to my mother about a month ago....My mom was so angry that she gave him a big lecture on the phone.,....and he felt soo ashamed...hahaha..I really enjoyed...
So guppies..Shall I gave him a chance?? Is it better to let every SEE that he is a animal??
I've nothing to lose I think...I feel much better now...Now that my parents know every single thing!!
Thank you all for your good advice!!!!! You all have given me strenght to tell my parents about it....
Salaam honey, please reread the above quote which you wrote. Its not healthy to continue a relationship in which you hate and loathe someone so much. It seems the only reason you want him to come here is so your parents/family SEE the type of "animal" he is. All you want is to take out your "revenge" on him.
I understand your parents want to give it one last try, but it will be so complicated once he is here. I'm not sure which country you live in, but if you do decide to bring him here, do not give him a stake in your house/assets. Also remember you may end up paying spousal support, if he cant get a job because of his lack of education. It is not your responsibility to support your husband.
I honestly think you should pray istikhara but I personally would not even involve myself with visa applications and end the marriage altogether. There are so many signs that this marriage is unhealthy. InshAllah, you will find the strength to leave and find someone who is similarly educated and kind. Once he is here, things are most likely to get worse rather than better.
I agree with what redvelvet said below, if you get pregnant again, you will be tied to him for life and there is no way out of that situation.
I'm not sure what zaath is, so I cant comment on that... I will keep you in my duas.