need some advice

Lifestyle Relationships
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Thanks ALL !

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Re: need some advice

What are your reasons for working?

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Re: need some advice

wow chameli…i’ve been following your threads and I really do feel for you :bummer:

I am really glad that you are trying to do something about this rather then just complaining about it. I must say one thing…whatever you do…**don’t lie to your husband. **If you are quiting your job then tell him that you are quiting and your reasons for doing so. I think it’s a great idea that you are planning to further your education and perhaps you can tell him just that…that you are quiting to further your education.

I see where you are headed with this “plan” but once again the biggest mistake you can make is lying to your husband about any of this. Be honest and forthcoming with him. In the end chamali…do what YOU want and what is best for YOU and your piece of mind. It’s not like you have children to worry about right now ..thank God! Just remember to be tactful and respectful…they are his parents afterall and you are in a very delicate situation.

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Re: need some advice

if that was my husband i would have dumped him months ago
but MASHALLAH my husband is not like that
he is the only brother in the family and 3 sisters
his mum passed away 14 years ago and his father has married again so he lives his own life
so really its me and my husband on our own i have nothing 2 worry abt in life

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Re: need some advice

Chamali, does your husband realize that he (or his family) has no right over your money? What you make is your's to keep. If you decide to spend it on him or his family, that should be YOUR decision, not his.

I wouldn't suggest you make up a whole story to tell your husband you lost your job. Just quit. This really is insane. If his brothers are married, why don't they move out? It's understandable for him to take care of his parents, but unless his siblings are babies who can't take care of themselves, you and your husband (which I'm sure you already know) aren't responsible for them.

Breaking News! Bin Laden reported dead...
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Re: need some advice

if I tell him that I am quiting my job he will go against me and his parents will come to know and they will fill his ears even more and I am just afraid he will turn against me. I dont want to hurt him, I just need him to realize everyone for who they are. If he knows I quit on purpose while he needed me to work then he will surly turn against me. He will not be able to afford everything by him self and will have to ask his brothers for help. I know his brother are very qanjoos people. they will not give him a penny and bug him to get a second job. I just want him to see this side of them so he will know that what ever money he is investing in them will not result in any gratatude.

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At first I wanted to work to have a career and save for retirenment the basic... Now it is to pay bills and keep his family happy.

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What is he doing to keep you happy?

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Well good for u---so why are you posting here?

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I smell desigirl786 kinda of thread in here.....

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Seriously Sara, people have nowhere in this entire forum to express their happiness and flaunt their awesome life EXCEPT in threads where someone is depressed about severe domestic issues. I mean who cares if your life is a mess and you really want to get advice? If my life is going great, I am going to come to THIS thread specifically and rub in your face about what a lucky person I AM.

Aleesha, so much pride doesn't last long my friend. If you can't help comparing your so called happy life to those who are slightly less fortunate, make sure you remember that it's Allah swt who has granted you what you have and it can be taken away any time. Peace.

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yeah,, that one got to me too..

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Some ppl are just insensitive and rude.....

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Re: need some advice

Wow, chamali im sorry you're in this situation. You're situation seems so over whelming im not sure i could give you any advice it seems like you've put a lot of thought and effort into your plan, but i dont think being dishonest with your husband is the best way to go.

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Re: need some advice

chamali..if u think ur plan is going to work and the alternative (being honest) will only hurt you... then go w/ ur own plan i guess... in the end you're the one who will have to live with the decision, we can't help you much other than give u advice based on what you have said... there's always more to the story, not that ur lying, but diff perspectives u knw! anyways best of luck..hope things work out

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Re: need some advice

At first it seemed like a great plan but I dont think I can lie to him. I will tell him the truth, he might not see it at the beggining he will eventually!!! If he loves me he will Inshah-Allah. I am also too afraid of Allah to lie to my husband. May Allah forgive me for thinking this way. I am glad I wrote about this before taking any steps. Please remember me in your prayers. May Allah guide me and keep me on the right path and open up eyes of my husband.

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Re: need some advice

Good decision

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I don't really have any advice to offer since I don't think I know the situation well enough. Anyhow, I just hope everything works out well for you InshAllah.

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im glad you're taking action and getting your parents involved... its about time someone sensible witnessed what you're going through, outside of yourself, and did something about it!

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I am so glad you realized that.....once you lie and he finds out about it...he will never look at you the same way(even if he says he forgives u)...no matter how insignificant the lie was.