^ It's true WH.....that it doesn't mean that a man is mean or spiteful if he doesn't make courtesy calls or condolences. And don't get the wrong idea, I'm not judging at all. I've seen women (who tend to more aware of social etiquette in general) not pay attention to courtesy calls either.
I've even seen friends who when informed of a family death........say NOTHING at all. No condolences, nothing. And some people are okay with their friends and family not making courtesy calls. And others like myself....find it comforting.
I know that we've all made social faux pas.....I know I have many times. But some things such as courtesy calls are "sunnah". And if one ignores them too many times......then one risks offending many people and possibly hurting relationships and creating tense vibes between family and friends. I know that sometimes people can (including myself) fail to make courtesy calls out of shyness, even. But doing it often enoug can cause people to make wrong assumptions about you.
Please don't think that I'm trying to offend you in any way. That's not my intention at all. I acknowledge that your point is valid in that it doesn't necessarily determine that one's character is negative. I'm just looking at it from another view. :)
I totally agree with you red about it being sunnah and even from a non religious standpoint, its called courtesy and manners. Though I dont condone my hubbys behavior and would prefer he was more like fallenpieta in realizing that there are certain responsibilities to family, even for men, I also have to realize that all humans are fallible to weaknesses and my hubbys weakness is the lack of realization and sense to do the 'right thing'. I hate that he does this but knowing that there is one in my home, I realize that there are probably others out there too.
I was merely trying to say that not all men or women understand that one should attend a wedding, or give a wedding card personally or call if not attending a wedding, even if it is the preferable thing to do. We have to give a little leeway and Islamically we are supposed to find an excuse for the other persons weaknesses instead of being angry at them.