I’ve been a silent member here on GS for a few months now. Looking for serious responses with explanations. This question is for everyone:
If you are a male, then concerning yourself, and if you are a female, then concerning your son or brother, here is a hypothetical question:
All else being equal/normal, would you agree to a proposal of a young girl who has been treated for thyroid cancer when she was 18 yrs old. Assume that her doctor says she is healthy and “cured” now, in her early twenties. Please state whether you are or are not a lay person as far as medical knowledge is concerned.
I’m looking to see what desis tend to think, even though I already anticipate particular results.
If the doctors say she's Alhamdulilah cured, then I don't see why any guy shud have a problem. Any medical condition can happen after the wedding as well..it's all a test from Allah swt =)
The fact that the girl has been honest with you from the onset (assumption) says it all.
Just think about how many people lie about many things during the rishta process. Health, with everything else in life, comes and goes. You need to learn how to live through it.
I've been a silent member here on GS for a few months now. Looking for serious responses with explanations. This question is for everyone:
If you are a male, then concerning yourself, and if you are a female, then concerning your son or brother, here is a hypothetical question:
All else being equal/normal, would you agree to a proposal of a young girl who has been treated for thyroid cancer when she was 18 yrs old. Assume that her doctor says she is healthy and "cured" now, in her early twenties. Please state whether you are or are not a lay person as far as medical knowledge is concerned.
I'm looking to see what desis tend to think, even though I already anticipate particular results.
whats a lay person?
i dont think there is anything wrong with accepting this proposal as Gina~ said it's all Allah's doing's . and Allah will show them right path inshAllah.
just dont listen to neagativity from peeps and all will be good inshAllah :)
I am a lay person as far as medical knowledge is concerned. I am a female and I guess I shall answer keeping my brother in mind - if all else being equal/normal, as you say, then why not? If it was HIV positive, Hep A/B situation - then may be I'd be more concerned about my brother. But treated thyroid cancer - I seriously can't think of a reason why not.
Just couple of months after I met my fiance, my health started getting really bad. It's been a year now and I am undergoing a surgery. I never hid anything from him..I told him even the tiniest bit of details (some he couldnt even understand). But a part of me really fears that this might not work out for me (it's just my fear..everyone has been so supportive). I wish that responses given here are truely a reality.
I am lay person , and a man with brothers and sons Brothers are all married and kids are not at that age to get married,I do not see any issue with that. Healthy people get married and later one becomes sick will they divorce ? Heck no.
I've been a silent member here on GS for a few months now. Looking for serious responses with explanations. This question is for everyone:
If you are a male, then concerning yourself, and if you are a female, then concerning your son or brother, here is a hypothetical question:
All else being equal/normal, would you agree to a proposal of a young girl who has been treated for thyroid cancer when she was 18 yrs old. Assume that her doctor says she is healthy and "cured" now, in her early twenties. Please state whether you are or are not a lay person as far as medical knowledge is concerned.
I'm looking to see what desis tend to think, even though I already anticipate particular results.
First of all, she is cured. End of story. She is a healthy person who can go on with life and he can expect the same things from her as he might have from another person.
Second, illnesses are not controlled by you or I. If I have the nerve to refuse someone who is now healthy then I should worry about what Allah swt might think of that. As you go through life, things happen...your partner is not there to see you through health only, he/she is your source of strength for all of life's challenges. My point here is simply: If this guy expects a woman to stay by his side when he is 60 yrs old and looks like a prune, he should not hold a healthy young woman's past illness against her.
Third, the girl should think if she even wants to be with a guy like this. I wouldnt do it.
Thank you for your responses members. I must say I am surprised. But I guess most members here are educated and this criterion definitely makes a difference in the way one thinks.
Thank you for your responses members. I must say I am surprised. But I guess most members here are educated and this criterion definitely makes a difference in the way one thinks.
Your observation about difference in thinking about being educated and non educated is partially correct.
People here are more open minded as compared to some other educated people you might come across with constricted thinking.
princessjojo, I hope everything works out well for you -- whoever this post is about. But I don't want you to get into a false sense of security. InshAllah someone wonderful will be a great spouse for the person mentioned in this thread. But there will be others -- people who are not bad, but anxious, afraid, and insecure who will resist such a match if they do not have prior feelings for the individual.
I know about dysfunctions of the thyroid gland; have suffered for almost two decades now.
I would not enter into any such relationship without first revealing the history because I know how it can impact your ability to have children due to hormonal imbalances.
Speaking from family expereince. Cancer is not 100% cured.
If your body is prone to this - you can always have a relapse. Nearly all cancers are caused by abnormalities in the genetic material of the transformed cells. So genetically this disease is passed in generations.
THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MARRIAGE.
When you get married you marry the person IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH - unless you do a genetic tests on the person you are about to marry - you don’t know what types of health issues are instored for you and your children in the future.
I personally would NOT have an issue with my brother marrying someone that had this illness
I know about dysfunctions of the thyroid gland; have suffered for almost two decades now.
I would not enter into any such relationship without first revealing the history because I know how it can impact your ability to have children due to hormonal imbalances.
Sahar, I agree about having a false sense of security. The person in question is me. At the same time, its not like I find any fault in myself to fuel any insecurity. I was mainly asking because my parents have kept it such a hush hush affair that no more than 7-8 people know about this. Its quite frustrating to see this behavior but I do see their point.
I also understand your point about people being merely anxious and not bad.
Muzna, this is about complete gland removal et al. I have to say I'm surprised to hear that because my mother has asked my doctor umpteen times whether it affects conception and he clearly said no and he told me that I should consider myself cured.
There is no question of not revealing medical history before entering any relationship. I have made it clear to my mother and even though she agrees to it now, I'm pretty sure this will create some friction between us in the near future. But I gotta do what I gotta do because it is me who will be entering a new relationship not my parents.
Njgal, we don't have any history of thyroid cancer. It's likely that it was something spontaneous in me. Of course, I won't discount the possibility you have mentioned.
Glad to know you would overlook such a thing! I'm liking the unanimous stance in this forum.
At the same time, I do think a person has the right to deny a proposal because of pre-existing conditions if they are 'big'. If I face that, I certainly would not blame them.