need help.....

Lifestyle Relationships
1

its my fiancee.he loves me alot…its going to b our love marriage as we took stand in our family for all dat…there is fight in most relations but sumtimes he gets so angry dat he forgets wats he is saying…and i cant simply bare it…i remain quite..i compromise all da time…but i dnt knw how to reduce his anger…he is angry dat y dont my mom let us talk to eachother…or let us go out..as we r fiancee and also first cousins..i dnt knw wat to do…i just want him to remain calm..and not get angry :frowning:

2

Re: need help.....

Huda, maybe he can take some counseling, or read some books on anger management. Remember its only 'sometimes' he gets 'angry'. Best of luck to you two!

3

he ll get angry if ill say him dis:) he says me sorry also aft he gets out of anger...and also he never forgets if i do any mistake....i apologize for dat...but he remembers dat 4 years....i respect him alot.....i cant speak loud infront of him.....

4

Re: need help.....

u need to tell him how u feel....
becuz the more u bow down infront of him the worst it will get
im sure he loves u but he has to control his anger
n if u tell him this n it makes him angry then thats fine as long as u tell him how u feel so he knows ur not goin to put up with it anymore
if he loves u then he should learn how to control his anger

Kareena Kapoor Converting??
Kareena Kapoor Converting??
5

Re: need help.....

Don't apologise to him for his mistakes

6

Re: need help…

Hey there: here is a thread with lots of advice for you. Hope it helps!

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-relationships/296690-you-engaged-married-loser.html

7

thanx alot u all...i dnt apologize for his mistake.i apologize wen i make mistake.....
he was not like dat before engagement...he gets angry wen he cant see me...he lives in karachi and i m in lahore.....he can come once a year..and wen he comes we cant even talk...we just see each other from far away even wen we r in one house....this makes him angry alot.

8

Re: need help.....

He has anger problems be sure before you marry him is he what you want

9

yes of course he is wat i want....he ll b a perfect hubby for me...im not worried abt my married life....i m worried for da time b4 my marriage...

10

Re: need help.....

huda I'm confused....is he angry with you? or the fact that he is not able to spend time with you cuz of his mother? what exactly does he get angry about?

does he say hurtful things to you..about you? you have to explain further.

11

he is angry wid me becoz MY mother dnt let us spent time togehter....we r allowed to do text sms......but my mom doesnt allow us calls.....he gets angry wid me bcoz of MY MOTHERS RESTRICTIONS.....simple as dat

12

All this anger and not even married yet? You need to tell him to sort out all this rage before you both wed - cos' after marriage there will be a lot more issues to deal with! Lol. Its good you remain calm - as two people getting angry at each other is much worse. There always needs to be one in the relationship who remains quiet!

When do you plan to get married btw? If just a few months, tell him to wait.

13

abt marriage we dnt knw..may b few months or may b one year......:)

14

it happens...he just wants to be with you. inshAllah when you two get married things will be better. Just make sure he isnt getting angry often and that he isnt emotionally abusive towards you in anyway. If he is...then that isnt a good sign at all.

Explain to him why your mother has those restrictions...whatever you do...dont bad mouth your mother or her rules at any cost because that will in turn cause him to get even more angry towards her. Explain to him why she has these restrictions and that you respect them and he should too. InshAllah you guys have the rest of your lives to be together...just be patient.

15

so dear - why is he taking it out on you? She should talk to you mother. Wouldn't that be the mature thing to do?

16

he talked to my mother(his khala) abt a thousand times.........but.......:(

17

don't worry. pakistani damads never like their in -laws anyways. it is oh so common for them to have resentment for them.

~~~Missing Someone~~~
18

Re: need help.....

I dont like the sound of this guy...

19

Re: need help.....

huda it happens... he's prob just frustrated that he cant be with you. and since you're the closest person to him he prob just lets it out on you

I know how hard it was for hubby and i before our marriage.. we used to see or at least speak to each other pretty much everyday while we were in Aus, but before we got married we went to pak where it was highly difficult, for obvious reasons, to see each other.. and it got really frustrating... we used to get angry and what not... but Alhamdulillah, everythign worked out

i dont agree with anger.. but i also dont think it makes one a bad person. I dont think he has anger issues.. prob just frustrated with all the restrictions and people involvement... i know exactly where he's coming from.

Dont doubt him... just be there for him and maybe when he's a little calmer, speak to him about why things arent happening the way he wants.

Dont give up on the lad.. i dont think he's a bad guy at all... :)

20

:hmmm: This is really interesting.

Now I can totally relate. Forget seeing him, if I don’t get to speak to him everyday, I get really reallly frustrated and irritated. It doesn’t have to be for long, even a text or two would suffice but there must be something everyday! I guess I get angry at these times, as well. This frustration is definitely caused by the doorie. Only solution: need to get married asap.