Stardust ... complications are also considered a real test of someones determination ... agar tumhara fiance abhi he say iss tarha ka attitude dikha raha hai .. and talking about you working only as a teacher if you both go to pakistan ... then i would personally also feel not good about it and try to get rid of it .... usko perwah nahi to why are behaving like this? besides ... ye kya baat hui k he doesnt want to marry someone jo uski qualification k peechay pera ho? he FAILED his exams ... and he wants to move to pakistan .... is he incapable of facing hardships? and do you want such a husband? he just sounds like a real insecure man to me ... you can also say to him that you want a husband who is fully capable of taking care of you .. and its not about whether he is already a lawyer or not ... its about what signs he is already showing of success! my parents always say k is say koi farq nahi perta k abhi banday k paas kya hai aur kya nahi ... farq iss say perta hai k how much determination and progress he is showing in his work to make his future secure for himself and his family .... kyun is sab say ziada zururi hai k banday ki personality kaisi hai ... and i understand by what you mean k you dont want to be single anymore ... but darling believe me .. single is way better than a screwed up relationship ... listen to what your parents are saying ... look at the situation from a 3rd party perspective ... not from your own nucleus and not just from your heart! use your brain and make a wise decision ... itna asaan b nahi hai is tarha uth k pakistan ja k rehna 3 ya whatever many years! fail hota rahay ga to kya karo gi ... 3 saal baad you'd be like kahan phas gayi !!! you also work on your career ... ussay kaho jayay khud pakistan ... parhay .. aur yahan tum apna career thik karo ... aur jab wo wapis aa jayayga ... to shadi ker leingay! ... you dont want his degree! but you want security! and finance is part of it! and you cant ignore the fact k professional careers depend on degrees and networking!
thanks Farrah
Yea, I was so shocked when he said that I was not going to work in Pakistan or only teach! but then I think he was just overreacting because of his results so he wanted to take his angry emotions out on me (which is fine because I do that with him all the time and he just takes it). Also, I think he is not quite aware of how much Pakistan has progressed and since he has not lived in Pakistan before he is just thinks its the norm for women to just sit at home. NOT TRUE! Pakistani women are actively seeking careers and are even doing better than the boys in terms of exam results.
the thing is he failed two of his exams, and missed the pass mark by two marks! So thats what has got him really down.
Your parents are exactly like mine. I thought they wouldnt get along but when I introduced him to my parents they just loved his personality! and his family! I mean thats why they said yes varna aik berozgar ko to koi bhi rishta nahin deta. But my parents saw potential and determination in him. His dad is a very successful businessman so he could have easily just gone and worked for him but he wont. He wants to stand up on his own two feet and I really respect him for it.
But your right about him failing dubara next year and the year after that...what then? so my parents said they would wait and see until next year and do the wedding next december (i was meant to have my Nikah this Dec). Now my parents are being precautious. In the meantime, I am InshAllah going to start my Masters in Law next September and then pursue a PhD if it is written for me. I told him this today and he was fine with it. He doesnt have a prob with me pursuing a career/work in the west, just not in pakistan.
Thanks for all your helpful advice :)