Snowy_winter.... I didnt want to comment on d issues like this as they do not ever lead to a result.... but if u dont mind me asking ....I have some questions for u...I hope i m no mixing something but i just cannot understand u ...always u post something I try to understand that everyone has her own views ...other ppl try to argue with u and at the end they get frustrated because u r so rigid and now many things r not making sense.... so sister can u plz clear the following points from your many threads ....
1) According to u daughters should not be sent away for studies not even in hostels (ur point of view ,fine) so parents should rent home near her university where she got admission( father's job or business ignored, agree no prb) then u said in other thread that son should b able to have balance with parents n wife children etc so he can buy house near his parents because wife has a right to have her own home( agree) so now the son is a father too...how can he be near his daughter's university and his parents home...or should husband and wife live seperately one here one there in same country.... suppose they have two daughter with 3,4 years of age diff (very common) so they will be living seperately for not less then good 8 years ...??? sooo how can u manage this .....
2) Then u said that son can be sent away to be rough n tough no matter if he is young ( cannot remember exactly may be u said 16 ) ...but guys also need good upbringing...they also make mistakes or get robbed or killed (Allah forbid) so y do u think that ? parents who send their guys to be rough those r the ones who rape the gals while gals r crossing the road (as u said)
3) then u r taking the side of the person in one thread who wants doctor /engineer as a wife but if the gal want the person with degree u r making arguments againt her.... (u mentioned it many times ) here wat u need to understand is Guys r the one who have to provide their family so everyone ask about their qualification but on the other hand gals dont have to earn as a necessity so their specific doctor n engineer degree r not required.... u seem very traditional and talk about the way things r coming sibncve centuries so y objecting this.??? if the same guy have said i want educated gal it would be ok ...
4) I m living in pakistan..... I strongly agree that the gals living abroad r not all the same if u think some of them r not like pakistanis(acc tou better) then some of them r better then us( just trying to make u understand) and vice versa.
5) No one here refer to women as baby making machines except u.... ok those r not ur words but u mentioned it atleast twice.... stop degrading the wonderful place of mother .... no one think of women like that ...here i disagree ???
now at the end I post this with all due respect.... nothing personal everything hypothetical...waiting for ur responce ... take care
I am a guy (damn the nick!). First of all, thanks for a great and interesting debate. I'll try to answer your questions:
I don't recall saying that daughters should never be sent away for studies. I don't have a big problem with females living in decent female hostels. A wife has a right to a separate house. At the same time, it is the responsibility of the guy to take care of his parents. In that context I was suggesting that it would be a nice idea for the guy to live just besides his parents house so that he can fulfill both goals: a separate house for his wife, proximity to his parents. But its just a suggestion... lots of other solutions can work as well.
Eww..... I have never said anything about *ape. Thats disgusting. Being rough and tough does NOT mean that they have to be jerks.
I just said that just like a girl CAN demand that her husband be with XYZ degree/job, so can a guy demand. Its about equality. And I absoutely agree with you that its the guy's responsibility to put food on the table in the house and its his responsiblity to take care of all the finances. If a girl wants to help, great but she is not bound to help. Personally though I consider home-making and decent upbringing of children a bigger contribution.
Totally Agree !!
I saw these words in another thread by one of the guppans. I think a mother is the best thing that can happen to anyone.
Hope I have clarified some things.