I am at a strange turn of my life. My husband cheated on me with his false nikkah with my youger sister. Although my sister was also involved but my husband is more at mistake because she is just 18 and not that mature. She is not very clever too. We did case in court to prevent which he ran from pakistan and came here in europe. I was living with him here but he told lie to me and went to Pakistan and did all this.
Now after coming back he is doing minnatain to me to come back because right now i am living with some other family. They supported me by all means.
I put some conditions in front of him that if he agrees to all that then i can come to you. But he says first come to me then i will fulil your demands, I am thinking to go back only because of my daughter otherwise I have nothing in my heart for him. But without him fulilling my demands I am not going back.
He used to put recording at my home and didn,t give me kharcha too. I used to work myself. But now he says he is changed, give me one chance etc etc.
My mother wants me to get married as I am of 29. But when I think of 2nd marriage, again I think of my daughter. I am afraid that other person will not be able to do justic with her.
I am too confused and need serous suggestions please.
I wouldn't go back to him. And even if an 18-year-old girl is not the brightest, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that you shouldn't be marrying your sister's man. Excuse me ...man-child, I mean.
Don't walk...RUN...in the opposite direction from this man. And please don't even think about remarrying until you yourself are stable and self sufficient (education/job etc).
He cheated on you with your own SISTER and you’re considering this? If you think another man won’t be better please try and raise your standards and/or work on your self-esteem.. Do you think a man who does this is a good role-model for your child as well?
18 is young but like RV said it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work out going with your sister’s husband is wrong.. I’d be furious with both of them..
seriously your sister cannot be that naive to marry your HUSBAND and not know what shes doing. Stop kidding yourself. You said your able to work etc so why do you need him? For your sake and your daughters show him the finger and move on
I wouldn't go back to him. And even if an 18-year-old girl is not the brightest, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that you shouldn't be marrying your sister's man. Excuse me ...man-child, I mean.
So even though she is 18 ( still a child emotionally ), its her fault? The guy is much older than her and knew what he was doing, and you call him man-child? Its almost like you are giving this guy a pass.
My advice to the OP is to make this guy pay. File a case of statutory rape, file for divorce and sue him for everything he has. He shouldn't be allowed to think that his actions have no consequences.
So even though she is 18 ( still a child emotionally ), its her fault? The guy is much older than her and knew what he was doing, and you call him man-child? Its almost like you are giving this guy a pass.
My advice to the OP is to make this guy pay. File a case of statutory rape, file for divorce and sue him for everything he has. He shouldn't be allowed to think that his actions have no consequences.
Um hold up. You're reading a bit too much into my response. When did I ever imply that it is entirely the sister's fault and that the husband is "less" at fault or that he should be totally exempt? I didn't. The 18-year-old may be more naive or impressionable, but if she has sound thinking faculties overall....she must have experienced some twinge of guilt about what she was doing. 18 is young, but it's still not a bachi. Even little kids are territorial about toys that belong to them...and this is your sister's husband...the father of her child.
Yes, I did call the husband a man-child....but that was not specifically because of his cheating as you seem to have misinterpreted it. You seem to think that I place more accountability on the sister for the cheating while I diminished the husband's accountability by calling him a child. I called him a man-child for the overall husband that he is....for all his mistakes and not limited to the cheating. I hope that clears things up.
Good. Move on. Even for sake of argument if one may suppose that he has changed (which i don't believe), marrying your younger sister is too big, you will never be ablke to get it out of ur head, nor will ur family, even if he mutates into an angel over night.
Good. Move on. Even for sake of argument if one may suppose that he has changed (which i don't believe), marrying your younger sister is too big, you will never be ablke to get it out of ur head, nor will ur family, even if he mutates into an angel over night.
Forget about any conditions.
Agree. How can you not be reminded of his betrayal and all the other crap he's pulled each time you see his face? More power to the women who are able to both forgive AND forget...but I imagine it can't be easy. Besides, OP, you've already said you have nothing in your heart for him. So, if you go back to him, then you will be expected by him and your family to act as a wife. Can't wrap my head around how one can share a bed let alone sleep with a spouse who has betrayed them...that, too, with a sibling. Yuck.
he had/has Haraam relationship with your sister. false or genuine nikaah, it doesn't matter. he has to end the relationship immediately and repent. she should also do the same. you must NEVER EVER even think of going back to him while he is having 'man-N-wife' relationship with your sister.
So even though she is 18 ( still a child emotionally ), its her fault? The guy is much older than her and knew what he was doing, and you call him man-child? Its almost like you are giving this guy a pass.
My advice to the OP is to make this guy pay. File a case of statutory rape, file for divorce and sue him for everything he has. He shouldn't be allowed to think that his actions have no consequences.
Not sure wherebouts in Europe the OP is but in the UK 18 is legally considered an adult and statuatory rape only applies to those under 16 as that's the age of consent here..
he had/has Haraam relationship with your sister. false or genuine nikaah, it doesn't matter. he has to end the relationship immediately and repent. she should also do the same. you must NEVER EVER even think of going back to him while he is having 'man-N-wife' relationship with your sister.
he needs to be condemned.
My sister is with us, he left her that is why he is asking me to come back,
Agree. How can you not be reminded of his betrayal and all the other crap he's pulled each time you see his face? More power to the women who are able to both forgive AND forget...but I imagine it can't be easy. Besides, OP, you've already said you have nothing in your heart for him. So, if you go back to him, then you will be expected by him and your family to act as a wife. Can't wrap my head around how one can share a bed let alone sleep with a spouse who has betrayed them...that, too, with a sibling. Yuck.
you are right but as I told only when I look at my daughter I think of him, she is 4 years old and often ask about him. he was not a good provider for her too. Infact i have no reason of going back to him
My sister is with us, he left her that is why he is asking me to come back,
good riddance.
please stay away from him. end the relationship with him NOW. if he is around your daughter, she may NOT be safe. take precaution. if your sister wasn't safe from his clutches, how can anyone else be safe around him.
your sister also needs counseling. she is 18 and baaliGh...she should have thought about Haraam-kaarii and betraying you. she is also a danger to other innocent relationships.
sorry to be blunt about your sister. i wish i didn't have to do that.
wth is happening to people's morals these days??? Don't they think how many lives would they be destroying? It just makes me sad. And OP, stay away from the guy. May Allah give you strength to overcome this.