Hello everyone,
I am 37 + 3 weeks today and as I am getting close to my due date I just feel that I do not know enough… getting worried about everything .
Can you guys please give me any advise that helped you at and after delivery, i’ll be having epidural and would be alone with my husband as we have no family or close friends here .
I know what is medically right for me but I remembered my mum telling me little things like what one should not eat after delivery etc but now i dont have her to help me and I have never taken care of any child … I am panicking…
I have gained 50 lbs which is alot .. any advice about proper nutrition would be a great help.
Thanx
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
Why have you already decided that you will get epidural ? Not being mean, just asking.
After I got home, my mother had given me 'panjeeri' to eat to gain strength. It is all about eating healthy food and staying hydrated. Dont overburden yourself and try to get sleep. There is a stick thread here about 'New moms and dads', go through it, it has some useful information.
Ask as many questions as you want at the hospital. I tried to sleep most of the time while at the hospital, only got up to feed the baby and eat my food. I had no help at home either.
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
Thanks Sarad...
I want an epidural because I donot want to go through so much pain if other options are available, I know that I have low pain threshold .
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
I haven't had a baby, so this is not first hand experience. But, from my observation, don't go in straight away for an epidural :) See how you go, talk to the midwives about how you can manage your pain with gas and air and other methods of pain relief, and if that doesn't help at all, then go for the epidural. I am just saying because from what I have seen it gets more painful as you go on, so the beginning may be better managed with something else. Also, an epidural can slow the progression of labour as it inhibits the reflex that causes contractions, so it will all just take longer, particularly as it is your first baby.
I am sorry I can't help with the other things, I am sure all the mummies on here will know lots about surviving the first few days :)
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
i went in knowing i had a low pain threshold and prepared for the epidural. i asked for it at 3 cms- my contractions were getting intense after they burst my water and thats about all the pain i could handle. SO if that's what you have decided, you stick to it, lady. childbirth is not a competition, you don't have to prove anything to anyone, and there is no prize for giving birth without drugs. do what works for you and do it with confidence.
as for right after delivery, be prepared to be very hormonal, very tired and kind of dazed. its ok. its all normal, it comes with the territory. it took you 9 months to grow this baby, it will take time for you to recover from giving birth too. practically speaking, do have a bunch of heavy duty pads in your hospital bag and at home, very loose, high-waisted granny underwear also helps. i found a sports bra style nursing bra to be better than one with harder straps and more like a regular bra. the sports bra had an elastic band under the bust and it was pretty comfortable. if you can, have some food prepped and frozen for the first few weeks after baby. you will not have the inclination or energy to cook and thats normal too. housework can wait entirely, in fact, focus on recovery and your baby. is your husband taking some time off work?
also, breastfeeding, while natural as a concept, does not always work naturally and does not come naturally either. you have to work at it. thats normal too. and if you simply cannot handle it and need a break and want to give your kid a bottle, do it with no guilt.
trust yourself and don't feel bad about not knowing enough- being a parent is a lot of trial and error and you will figure things out alongside your hubby and your kid will let you know too if there is something that isn't working for them.
you will do good!!
and post here anytime you need to- we're all here to help.
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
I had told my midwife that if I could I will get epidural in the parking lot! I have had no desire to bear the pain because its not like I would win an award for giving birth naturally!
Come labvor.. by the time I got to the hospital I was 6 cm dilated.. and I was sooo proud of myself, mind you I was in pain but it was bearable, 3 hours later I was 8 cm dilated and just couldnt take the pain anymore.. they all tried to convince to go without epidural but nah I was determined to get one so I had it.. I am sooo glad I did because I later ended up with emergency c section and I was told that if I hadnt the epidural, I would have gone under general anesthesia! so yeah I have no regrets with epidural and yes once I got it, I was floating in heaven :D
Post birth... everything that sgc said... breast feeding is natural but very hard, you will be sore, cracked and you will want to give up but all you need is a good lactation consultant and if things still don't work, formula comes to rescue!!!
I never had panjerri but I really wish I did.. six months later, my back still aches and I get tired very quickly partially because I didnt have a good diet post child (due to other issues) but please eat healthy and drink a lot.
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
Thanx alot, starberry1 and somegroovychick....
@ somegroovychick .... I'll keep everything u told me in mind, really appreciate it .
I want to breastfeed exclusively Inshallah, do you have any idea that what food makes the baby gassy? I usually eat all desi food made at home . My husband will be home for 2 weeks , he is very cooperative and cooks very well too :)
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
Thanx Gemini the great .... Yes I am planning to spend as much time as possible at home and then on gas at hospital until I would be able to tolerate the pain then I'll go for epidural .
I donot know how to make panjeeri so I am thinking that a glass of milk with crushed nuts in it might help regain the energy .
I had a lactation class , it helped alot , I just hope that it works out well .
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
^ i prefered crushed nuts in milk to panjeeri, and its very good too. also, keep up with your pre-natal vitamins after birth too. don't stop taking them.
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
Hey,hope all goes well for you Inshallah.
You got great suggestions.When I had mine mymom was here for me for the first few weeks.After that she left and the husband went back to work and I totally freaked out how I will take care of a few weeks old baby all by myself.Parenting,especially for the first time does involve trial and error,but it gets easy.Text book parenting is hard.Just go by the baby cues and what feels right and you will do great.
My biggest issue was that when after I got home with the baby,it felt that everything had gone upside down.It had...we were parents..!!...But I used to have actual crying fits over dishes not my way in the kitchen,or looking at bags piled up in the corner of my room...or anything which was not acc to how I liked.Trust me,these things can wait and do not matter.Take a nap when the baby naps because you will be sleep deprived and tired for sure.I used to spend those precious hours doing chores around the house and then be almost dead at nights when she used to wake up every few hours.
Everything can wait.Take your time to adjust because it is a huge adjustment,but totally worth it.It is exhausting and confusing in the beginning but it gets so much better and totally fun...all the best...!!.
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
Biyya: Good luck! 
Ha this thread makes me want to have a baby! 
I started asking hubby q’s about epidural after reading this, and now I’ve been ‘ordered’ to stay away from this forum…
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
My husband always ended up eating the panjeeri, not me 
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
^ same here , he not only ate my panjeeri but also the panjeeri his mom made for his sister.
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
thanx everyone :)
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
heheeheh same here paheli 
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
i love panjeeri. why do women get all panjeeri before and after child birth. 
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
hehehehe same here i didnt had any huby n BIL had it finished in just 1 day 
n as regarding epidural my water bag was bursted n contractions were not regular… i asked for epi first n then asked to increase my pain… if the surgeon is good n u co operate wth him there r no side effects… i didnt want to get exhausted by all the pain tht in the end i have no energy for pushing.
all the best.
n midwives n nurses will help u wth everything feeding how to change baby clothes how to give bath… just discuss everything wth them.
all the best 
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
n as regarding epidural my water bag was bursted n contractions were not regular........ i asked for epi first n then asked to increase my pain...... if the surgeon is good n u co operate wth him there r no side effects.....
It would be wrong to say there are no side effects if patient co-operates !!!
I had epidural with my first born.
I was relieved of the pain and since I had a c-section afterwards, it helped that I did not need general anesthsia but along with this, I also had a drop in my bp and had serious trouble breathing after I got epidural.
I cannot say for sure but may be because of my reaction, my son went into stress and the doctors had to rush to do the c-section.
Again I dont think it makes any woman less of a mother if she gets epidural (I got it myself).
OP: I am not writing this to scare you. The hospital will give you a list of all the side effects anyways and you have to sign that you agree with all of that.
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
OP, inshaAllah you will be able to bf exclusively but I ll suggest that even if are able to, do give the baby formuala occassionally so the baby is accustomed to drinking formula as well, once baby has developed the latch otherwise babies have trouble developing latch becuase of the confusion between bottle and breast
I was bfing for the first 2 months and so my baby only had tasted bm. After 2 months I had a precedure for which doctors gave me something (I cannot recall the name) and after the procedure I was given morphine (I think) for the pain. The doctor told me I cannot bf for I think 48 hours. I was supposed to express and throw away the milk. Those were the toughest 48 hours for my baby and me. She totally refused to drink formula, hardly had any milk during that time.
Even afterwards when I started working and my supply diminished, I had hard time switching her to formula.
Re: Need advise regarding childbirth and newborn care
Sarad..tis is exactly what happened to me 5 mins after I took the epidural, low bp, baby's heart beat dipping n rushed for c scion BUT I was assured that it wasn't due to epidural..li dilated faster n baby didn't have time to move down so he was under stress..I felt guilty for taking epi n kept asking if this was the reason, I still remember obs word..he said," trust me it's not because of epidural but we have to take the baby out right now so we will take you for c section!"
I think I trust him. :D
Ps! Your bf story us similar to mine as well I had an emergency surgery 3weeks post birth..pump n dump for 5 days n then never established a good supply! He had his formyl a at 3wekks.,I supplemented until about 4months whenever I could..now he is exclusively formula fed!
Op...see we all survived..our children are healthy mashallah..n we love eqvhother to bits..epi, formula, etc etc doesn't make you less of a mother, ever!