need advise...cant decide abt shadi:(

Without speculating:

1) He's your cousin. shudders
2) He admittedly had an affair with another woman, while still engaged to you.
3) By your own admission he "ignores" you, "hurts" you and "never tries to make [you] happy".
4) Ultimately: it's your life and your call, but you can pretty much tell what I'd do in this situation.