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i have been engaged 4 more than two years**..
You've already been miserable for "MORE THAN TWO YEARS". By marrying him, you might have "tears in eyes" for the rest of your life. Right now you are ONLY engaged, so you still have a way out of this situation. Once you get married, it will be harder to get out and also it make things more complicated.
**he accepted that he was involved with this girl but he said he was nt serious..
*You said that he "PROPOSED" to this girl. Proposing to ANY girl (doesn't matter if she is a cousin or a classmate) is a HUGE DEAL. If he is saying that he's "not serious" about some classmate he proposed to............then keep in mind that he ALSO proposed to YOU. So, does this mean he is "not serious" about his proposal to you either? I understand that he asked for forgiveness but it seems like he's not mature enough to sincerely commit to a marriage.
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i didnt want to hurt my parents by breaking the engagement.**
Ask yourself these questions. Will breaking this engagement hurt your parents more? Or will the knowledge that your cousin cheated on you and that YOU are miserable with him hurt your parents more?
A marriage is supposed to last the rest of your life. Do you really think that your parents will be happy to know that their daughter is depressed and miserable on a daily basis for the rest of her life?????????????????
A**nd your parents will ALSO BE HURT if they knew that you didn't share your problems with the. The only reason that your parents are "HAPPY" right now is because they don't know the truth. **You are not thinking straight.
afterwards our relationship went on with some bumps..but its just that i never was happy again..hhe still sometimes ignores me..hurts me..sometimes he is really sweet too..but most of my time is spent cyring coz of him..
If you marry him.........and he continues to treat you like dirt.........and then you end up getting DIVORCED............what will your future be like? Have you thought about that? If you get divorced, do you have the courage to stand up on your own feet and support yourself? What if he continues abusing and hurting you after marriage? Can you live with that? And if children enter the equation, it's going to be even tougher.
**but i luv him too much..i am getting married to him in march
*Sweetheart, love should be two-sided...........not one-sided. And the FOUNDATION of love is RESPECT. There can be NO love without respect. Since your cousin doesn't respect you...............that means he doesn't love you. Most likely he is only engaged to you because he is afraid that if he breaks the rishta........the family will be hurt and upset. It's February..............you still have some time to change your future and save yourself if you are smart.
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..ad i just have so many fears that what if he continues to hurt me..but honestly i cant leave him..coz i luv him so much..i feel like a looser...:(...i know he luvs me but he never tries to make me happy.**.
I'm going to repeat myself again. The foundation of love is respect. You can't have love without respect. Woh tumhari izzat nahin karta..............to tumhay pyar bhi nahin karta. Think about it. When you truly and sincerely love someone.......it shouldn't be hard for you to respect that person. But he can't respect you NOW..........how will he respect you after marriage? *Koi doosra tumhari izzat karay ya na karay..............lekin TUMHAY apni izzat karni chahiye.
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s*o girls/guys what should i do...i am just so cofused...i dont want to leave him..but the pain is always there of him being dishonest with me and coz of his cheating and his rude behaviour..but one thing i know he does luv me..but is luv everything :(..please advise (Sorry for the long post)*
Asking for advice is one thing..............but having the courage to follow the advice and take action is another issue. You asked us for suggestions, but do you have the courage.......AND THE COMMON SENSE........to follow our suggestions? Do you have the courage to accept the harsh honesty of our advice........or do you only want to hear what sounds good to your heart and ears? The truth is that you can't change a person. That person has to change himself. So, please don't be naive in thinking that marriage will change your cousin. That's not true. Bad habits don't die easily.
Your parents are spending so much time, energy, and money on your wedding. What is the point of wasting this energy and money when you are miserable? Why are you wasting their time and hurting them by not telling them the truth? Can you imaging how heartbroken your parents will be when they see you as a DEPRESSED WIFE in the future????????????????? Please save your parents from lifetime of headaches by being honest with them. You may not have any respect for yourself................but please don't hurt your parents like this. They don't deserve this from you.
Apart from telling your parents, you need to develop some respect for yourself as a woman. If you don't have respect for yourself........then NOBODY (no guy or woman) will respect you. This idea of "love" you have is very filmi. Love involves mutual respect. And you don't have that.
*********************** Ask yourself if you have truly forgiven your cousin for cheating on you? Is it possible that you have not been able to forgive or forget his mistake........and that you keep bringing up his mistake.......and that you don't trust him........................and that these things are making him upset and angry???????? If you behave in a negative way with someone and if you keep talking about the mistake they made.........that person will naturally get angry and turned off toward you. Is it possible that your cousin is trying to repair the relationship, but you just can't move past what he did? If that's the case.........PLEASE DON'T MARRY HIM. If you can't forgive him or forget his cheating and rudeness...................then you will constantly bring up these issues in your marriage in the future. As his wife, you will constantly doubt his "love" for you..........and you will always have trouble trusting him. You can't have a relationship/marriage if there is no respect or TRUST. So.................just end it if you can't move past it. Most people (INCLUDING GUYS) would find it hard to marry someone who cheated on them in the first place.
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