Re: need advise...cant decide abt shadi:(
It was a long engagement- 2 years. The guy was still in uni... so he's young, and he checked out the other girls. That's fine to a certain extent too, it's human nature... EXCEPT he took action. He went ahead and got involved with another girl, and he PROPOSED to her. That's a big deal and it is serious! Is he still in contact with that girl? If he truly did learn, he shouldn't be in contact with that girl anymore. Like libran said, everyone makes mistakes and if he learned from it and is repenting, he deserves a second chance.
Maybe if you pretend that you have doubts about getting married... that you might not be ready... Then he might be more willing to tell you if he doesn't want to get married anymore. Maybe his reason for staying with you is that you're his cousin, he doesn't want to hurt his parents or your parents. He could be scared. Perhaps he feels like he's stuck and should go with the flow of things. See how he reacts if you ask him if you two need to wait longer.
Have a friend pray istakhara for you. You keep saying that you love him so much and you don't want to hurt your parents... you pretty much have the decision made in your heart that you want to be with him... that's not really going to work with istakhara. Ask a friend who wants what is best for you to pray istakhara. I agree with PCG that MAYBE the deception and the current treatment is a sign from God, but ask a friend.
Now, in my opinion... the guy doesn't really love you as much as you think he does or as much as he claims he does. If he did, he wouldn't have pursued another girl and said it wasn't serious, like it's some joke. You wrote a couple of times that you're crying over him, he never makes you happy, and he's hurting you. All negative things. So what's positive? He's sweet to you sometimes and he loves you a lot too. If he really loved you, you would never have written all those negative things. And isn't it right before a marriage and at the very beginning when things are so nice and lovey-dovey? Just remember that IF you have serious problems after getting married... in the beginning you'll try to console yourself by saying that he loves you, but later on, you'll forget about that and the happy moments because the pain was greater and more permanent. It's your decision.