Salam all,
I will be flying from Vancouver to Pak in August to get married(inshallah).It’s going to be an arrange marriage and i’ve never met the girl, though i have occasionally talked to her on phone.
Since i don’t have a home there , i wanted to just do nigah there and rukhsati to take place after the immigratio of the girl, however my elder sister told me that Rukhsati will take place there and i can stay with the girl in hotel for a day.
Now he’s my problem.I have never met the girl and as such feel reluctant to have intercouse with her so soon.But i don’t know what to say to the girl on that night? and am not sure what expectations the girl will have for that night? will she be dissapointed that she will have to wait for 6 months of immigration for such a night of intimacy? will she think that i am abnormal( though i’m perfectly normal)
Please advice me on this issue, just serious advice and no jokes plz.An advice from a married girl would be greatly appreciated.
Most likely, she's nervous about the night as well, though she may be looking forward for to it too! I think the best thing is not to make a decision about whether or not you're going to do it on the wedding night. Just talk to each other, help her unpin her hair, get to know each other, order some room service (since most likely you'll feel quite hungry), chat, give her a gift, maybe even bring some item that is important to you that you can tell her about, to start conversation. If the two of you are cuddling and feel comfortable going further, then go for it, if you don't, you've got a lifetime to enjoy yourselves. Don't rush it.
Ooooh, I am def. on the same page as you [insert posters name], i agree. I think it is best to wait for the right time...meaning you should know one another before you have sex.... I dunnno IMO at least
I cant understand people that do it the first night....its gross cuz its literally like doing it with a stranger (thats if you have been arranged and dont talk too much etc etc)
I would suggest you don't make this an issue to worry about because this is not something that requires advance planning. When the time comes, just go with the flow and do whatever you both feel like.
Ok there have been so many wedding night threads popping up here and there and this really wanna make ask this. Do desi girls and guys counting down to the big day really sit down and think and get worried about the wedding night or is this just fun sake postings.I mean wats the reason and thought process behind these questions.
Dont get me wrong it is a gniune question since min was not a conventional shaddi and I had alot of other stuff to be worried about.
Ok there have been so many wedding night threads popping up here and there and this really wanna make ask this. Do desi girls and guys counting down to the big day really sit down and think and get worried about the wedding night or is this just fun sake postings.I mean wats the reason and thought process behind these questions.
Dont get me wrong it is a gniune question since min was not a conventional shaddi and I had alot of other stuff to be worried about.
I'm not married yet, but a LOT of my friends just got married so yeah, I think it's a legitimate concern. I think because for a lot of people, they dont' really get any guidance or ANYTHING from parents or whatever in that matter, so it's like this wierd mysterious thing that everyone's curious and kind of scared about.
I mean my friends didn't completely focus on the wedding night, but I know for a fact that it was a matter of concern and anxiety for them to some point. Especially because the marraiges were arranged, a lot of my friends were just concerned about like what is okay and isn't okay? We've all heard horror stories about husbands becoming super shaki cuz the girl isn't totally clueless as to what to do, etc.
Just my opinion, anyways.
dude just go in a sit talk to her, if you both get "the feeling"
go ahead. IF not go to sleep.
She is you wife, so its more appropriate if you share you concerns with her.
(not right away though talk to her first)
this is the first time I am reading a post about this by a guy!!! good to know that they are as confused as the girls are in this matter!!!
I am sure… it is right and all or most appropriate!!
Nafal is ok… but after nafl how can newly wed couple engage in religous talk?? that too after such a long day and tiring day??? :s: and what would be their topic??? nail polish keh bigar namaz hoti hai ya nahian?? or jehad is islam??
I found it the most funny part of the whole article!!!
Thanks to all the fellow posters and especially to Sahar02 for their valuable advice.Advice are always usefull and helps, as i don't want to do things in haste or just coz of some kind of pressure as i want a good start to a long journey with my wife.
One more question from u guys and girls, what gift you thing a girl would like to get for Moo-Dekhai?
Sahar02 , you mentioned giving some gift to the wife and i like the idea, can you give me a hint as to what a gir would really love to get?
Yes, I noticed that Sahar gives the most sensible advice in a pleasant manner. Sahar u should write an agony aunt book.
Examples of mu dikhai gifts received by ppl ino:
Silver necklace and earing set (thin)
Gold Rings
Diamond Ring
Bracelet chain
Now u can treat this as a joke if u want to, i've never heard of anyone getting this b4, BUT, these days pakistanis are MAD for MOBILE PHONES, so i can guarantee u that u will earn loadsa kudos points if u present her witha brand new boxed state of the art, top of the range NOKIA!...
But of course thats hardly romantic, even if u do say its for her so that she can stay in touch with u easier. So u should actually go for a girly romantic gift of some fine jewellery, FOLLOWED by the mobile afterwards.