Re: Need advice/advise
i agree ^
Re: Need advice/advise
I know her in the sense that she has modern "khaylat". From that one can deduce certain things about her personality.
I'm not saying I would marry her right now; in three to four years from now we would begin the process. The issue here is, from what I've seen, she is totally the opposite of what I had in mind yet I still like her.
Re: Need advice/advise
You are talking about marriage before even talking to her?
Baby steps Anil, baby steps. Talk to her first. You are already having doubts about your compatibility because of her "khaylat". Don't be blinded by her looks. Bear in mind that she may not too fond of your mentality and view of things either. You won't know this until you actually talk to each other for some time.
Also, most people in the west do stick to their own sects when marrying other Muslims. Keep that in mind. You personally may not have a problem with it, but your parents might, as may hers, IF you both like each other.
Re: Need advice/advise
Anil! it's quite typical from love "through the eyes", please, you are young and hormones talk instead of brain when you see her, but you have to grow up and think about future!
it's not her look who will raise your children
it's not her look who will care about your parents
it's not her look who will make her care about you when you are tired after work
it's not her look who will make her be a nice and obediant wife
instead her look will drive you crazy and make you HER puppet!
read the thread about what happens to guys property after divorce! (advice for guys before marriage), and you' ll get a glimpse of the disaster that happen to "look love" marriages
Re: Need advice/advise
It's the hormones talking. Logic must always prevail over all else. If she's logically a bad match for you, ignore her. Avoid seeing her, put your self in places where you don't have to be near her.
Re: Need advice/advise
my shia brother in islam anil khan,
first of all congrats on finding a girl in the wild wild west that has fancied to your eye.
i dont think her 'khayalat" will be an issue if she also falls head over heels for you and your george clooney looks....that is not the issue that should worry u because there are ways around it ...i'll give u some tips on how to make your woman sit at home.
secondly...u cannot be sure she wont want to live with in-laws...many modern girls are ok with living with in-laws.
finally...the only issue u should worry about is the shia vs sunni thing. because if she's a daddy's girl she will never go against daddy's wishes. and will leave u with a broken heart.
its a weird situation....if her family is ok with their daughter marrying a shia....it means they are quite liberal and u dont want that either do u? :( and if they are not ok with it (i.e. conservative shia family) then u wont exactly plan to elope with her either right? because anil khan=conservative muslim dude.
Re: Need advice/advise
first of all congrats on finding a girl in the wild wild west that has fancied to your eye. i dont think her 'khayalat" will be an issue if she also falls head over heels for you and your george clooney looks....that is not the issue that should worry u because there are ways around it ...i'll give u some tips on how to make your woman sit at home. secondly...u cannot be sure she wont want to live with in-laws...many modern girls are ok with living with in-laws. finally...the only issue u should worry about is the shia vs sunni thing. because if she's a daddy's girl she will never go against daddy's wishes. and will leave u with a broken heart. its a weird situation....if her family is ok with their daughter marrying a shia....it means they are quite liberal and u dont want that either do u? :( and if they are not ok with it (i.e. conservative shia family) then u wont exactly plan to elope with her either right? because anil khan=conservative muslim dude.
Bohat Nawazish on a solid post.
The term "liberal" has different levels. I'm liberal in the sense that I don't force others to pray or fast or follow other religous practices; I leave that to their Iman. I'm also liberal in that I don't feel women should be forced to do purdah or wear a hijaab. However, my conservativeness kicks in when I see muslim girls wearing baysharam clothes that are tight and revealing. In this case, I don't think I have ever seen her wear baysharam clothes; her clothes have always been decent (i.e. long sleeve shirts and jeans) (although sometimes they were a little too tight for my liking).
I'm a realist; I know that as of right now me and her have different approches to life, so there is not a connection there. The most likely scenario is that in 4 years time she'll be married and working full time while I'll be on PIA, beginning my search. :D
I appreciate all the responses.
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Anil,
mubarak ... ideal mil gaeeen, at least.
but, remember to be pragmatic and take ur parents along in any and every decision or at least first pursuade them.
no hardships for later will, then haunt u.
best of luck.
dushi
The sticking point is, she is one of you (the ladies). She wants to work, she likes to "chill" with friends, she's not religous, (not to say you ladies aren't) from what I've heard. And frankly, I don't **think **she'd like the concept of an extended family. When I think about this, I say to myself "She's not for you man, forget about her". The next day when I see her, it all falls apart.
Another problem (or potentially a problem) is that she is, from what i've heard, sunni, and I'm shia. But since she's, apparently, not religous it shouldn't be a problem. There are times when I think in a few years I'll tell my mom about her and we could get something confirmed with her but then I think of all the reasons she's wrong for me.
What do you guys think about this?
Re: Need advice/advise
anil uncle first of all u need to talk to her and find out if she feels the same way bout u...
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^lol like i did with you...it was a typical bollywood type movie scene, where we ran into each others arms.
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the shia sunni is kinda of alarming
Can you elaborate on that?
Btw: the song in your signature is beautiful. That little girl has a heavenly voice. Can you tell me where I can download that from? Thanks.
Re: Need advice/advise
the shia sunni is kinda of alarming
Can you elaborate on that please.
Btw, the song in your signature is beautiful. That little girl has a heavenly voice. Can you tell me where I can download that from?
Thanks
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get a life ahmer:halo:
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i mean kia pata uss kay parents bhi raazi ho jaaien .. aik shia say shaadi per yah nahin
this poem is by allama iqbal ..let me find it
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[repeated what everyone said]
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^ aouch
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wah wah, i said that earlier, u copy me 
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Oh i didn't read all the responses :p
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yah rite…!!!