So everyone here on H and R knows my traditional way of thinking and my plans of going back to Pakistan to marry (hopefully to nwfp or northern areas ). But the thing is there is this girl at university . She is exactly what I had imagined my wife to look like: shoulder length hair with a hint brownish colour, fair, and amazing facial features. Also, weāve exchanged more than just glances at each other. (Iām not naive enough to think that sheās got a thing for me or āfancies meā (as the british like to put it) because honestly I donāt have enough evidence. )
The sticking point is, she is one of you (the ladies). She wants to work, she likes to āchillā with friends, sheās not religous, (not to say you ladies arenāt) from what Iāve heard. And frankly, I donāt **think **sheād like the concept of an extended family. When I think about this, I say to myself āSheās not for you man, forget about herā. The next day when I see her, it all falls apart.
Another problem (or potentially a problem) is that she is, from what iāve heard, sunni, and Iām shia. But since sheās, apparently, not religous it shouldnāt be a problem. There are times when I think in a few years Iāll tell my mom about her and we could get something confirmed with her but then I think of all the reasons sheās wrong for me.
If you waite for Mom to choose a girl for you, you will be disappointed, choose one you like and tell your Mom, Shia or Sunni; Lalay ki Jaan who cares!
Its just a crush, it wont amount to anything, and you two dont seem compatible...n if ur shia i dont think the parents wud approve unless their not religious either.
once u get to know each othe, for all u know she might change her lifestyle, stay at home, wait on u and convert to shia? :D cant tell with life.
so first things first.... step by step ;)
You make sense Nisa; Generally, I have no hesistation about talking to girls. I don't get nervous or anything; but with her its different. I get so shy around her yaro, that it doesn't feel like I'm being Aneel Khan. I'm pashtun, we're not supposed to be scared of anything, but at the prospects of talking to her, I get nervous (to say the least).
Afridi yar, generally in the west I've noticed that if the boy is muslim and has a good job, parents don't have an objection. I've heard she doesn't pray (may Allah guide her) so it may be safe to assume that her parents are more secular than religous. But I could be wrong.
I forgot to mention earlier, that she is PAKISTANI :D .
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You make sense Nisa; Generally, I have no hesistation about talking to girls. I don't get nervous or anything; but with her its different. I get so shy around her yaro, that it doesn't feel like I'm being Aneel Khan. I'm pashtun, we're not supposed to be scared of anything, but at the prospects of talking to her, I get nervous (to say the least).
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Intimdated is the wrong word to use because there are other white girls (blonde hair, blue/green eyes) that I talk to and I have no problems speaking to them.
TALK TO HER. For most girls, if you aren't man enough to talk to them you arent man enough to marry them. Simple. No one likes guys staring at them, following them, talking about them. You got something going on in your mind, say it. This isn't a bollywood movie.
I would have to disagree with that. Some white girls are truly beautiful. If you had said Pakistani girls are the best looking girls in South East Asia then I would've agreed with you but to say that Pakistani girls are better than white girls is a bit far fetched.
I dont know about other girls but I cant stand mind games. If you like her so much and think that theres some potential there then talk to her, dont ask her to marry you right away. Get to know her first i guess. Who knows after you get to know her you might change your mind. Secondly, some shias are believed to be out of the fold of Islam and if her parents believe that then i dont think you have much luck and I doubt if that has anything to do with praying.
Bottom line, do something about it before she hands you an invitation card to her wedding.
Bottom line, do something about it before she hands you an invitation card to her wedding.
Firstly, no mullah has the authority to say who is a muslim and who isn't. If the Kalimah is recited "Lahillahaililah MuhammadarasoolAllah" then he/she, by defination, is a muslim. Arguing why certain muslims don't believe in the Noor of Hazrat Ali (a.s.) or why other muslims reject/curse the sahabas belongs in the religon forum.
Secondly, I believe a proper move should only be made when a person is financially well-off. Since I'm in the middle of my studies, I don't think its the right time for me to approch her for marriage. I can understand your view about talking to her but yar I can't seem to gather the courage. Alhumdullilah, my friends have said she and I would make a very good couple. Infact, a couple even suggested that I could do better (they don't see the same beauty that I see).
^ cant help but think ur attracted to her physical beauty. i mean u dun even know her and u hav marriage in mind?
juz forget her anil..... go to hunza, nwfp :D
tat will save ya all da worries and facing parental objections blah blah blah....
). But the thing is there is this girl at university 
. She is exactly what I had imagined my wife to look like: shoulder length hair with a hint brownish colour, fair, and amazing facial features. Also, weāve exchanged more than just glances at each other. (Iām not naive enough to think that sheās got a thing for me or āfancies meā (as the british like to put it) because honestly I donāt have enough evidence. )
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