Would you send your one and only infant child away to lets say the grandparents in a different country just so you could get a break for a few months? And this is given that you’re not in a career or trying to complete your studies or start a business venture with your husband or whatever. Just because you need some time to yourself.
Re: Need a break...
Would you send your one and only infant child away to lets say the grandparents in a different country just so you could get a break for a few months? And this is given that you're not in a career or trying to complete your studies or start a business venture with your husband or whatever. Just because you need some time to yourself.
If it would mean everyone would stay refreshed after a break then wouldn't be a bad idea I think!
Re: Need a break...
Really?
What would you need the break from? From the child or your responsibilities as the mother...or in your case, the father.
Re: Need a break...
Really?
What would you need the break from? From the child or your responsibilities as the mother...or in your case, the father.
I don't know maybe time together as a couple?
I don't know I've found it has helped with my parents from time to time, after people have children they don't usually get to spend time with each other, or maybe I am wrong :/ Maybe a break not for a few months but a week or so?
Re: Need a break...
OK this person I talk about is considering several months just because she feels needs time to herself. It's not like her husband's OK with it. It his child too.
OK yes, a little child takes away a lot of time, but it's a joy, a privilege. And no, kids sleep a lot so it's not like you don't get time as a couple...yes a few things get bent out of shape..but see what you're getting in return...the warmth of a child...motherhood isn't meant to be a walk in the park...
No we're not talking about a week or weekend away.
Re: Need a break...
No we're not talking about a week or weekend away.
Then that's a problem which won't go away with children going for a holiday.
Maybe the woman should hire a babysitter from time to time?
Re: Need a break...
See that's what I think too. Of course this is none of my business, but I thought a good topic for this forum.
Re: Need a break...
Nope. I think it would need to be a very extreme situation, involving very severe depression or something that might put the kid at risk.
Re: Need a break...
infant child - maybe not.
Spending a few weeks with grandma and grandpa when they are older - not so bad
But one of my friends has. She sent her infant to Pakistan during the first year of her residency. It was the hardest year of her life. Emotionally she was drained and desi people were very judgmental of her.
Another sent her 3 kids to Pakistan for 4 months because she had to study for her exams. But her kids are older.
I have left my kids with my mom and dad and other grandparents for a few weeks to travel and for Hajj.
Re: Need a break...
niksik- many desi imported ladies do a mild version of this every year anyways, when they head on to pakistan for the summer, and then the kids are essentially raised by grandparents, uncles, aunts and servants while the lady has a chance to relax.
Re: Need a break...
Infant/toddler...No...!!
I dont think so I will be able to do so.I have part time college and really need to and want to finish asap,but my child is my top priority.
This is my current situation.If it something different like someone said Hajj,or God forbid some illness,then maybe.
Sending a kid away just to give yourself a break(not a break from a career/studies) doesn't sound like something I would do.
Re: Need a break...
nopse I would rather have my mom here to help me out if situation demands (that is if I have to work full time and choose not to send my baby to day care) but sending my child overseas.. no way!!! EVEN though I know that my mom and sister will take care of my child better than I can or I will but still I cant imagine not having my baby around (mind you it's not born yet though :D)
I have thought about leaving my kid with my mom and/or sister to go for hajj with husband but that is only if the baby is very attached to them!!!
Re: Need a break...
I dont think I could do it.
In the situation you're describing Niks, it seems like the lady might need to hire a nanny or some extra help instead of sending the kiddos away for a few months.
Re: Need a break…
Um..why did she have kids then? 
Re: Need a break...
Yes...see it's different when it's because of a temporary situation you're in...such as you ave to go on Hajj where it makes no sense to take the kids, or on a work related trip or to get done with some career requirements.... all of that is very understandable.
But I see two things wrong in the picture above:
The child's father isn't being considered. When he comes home after a hard day's work, he's eager to hug his child and play with him. Why take that away from him? And since I know the family, I know that after work, the dad pretty much takes care of the kid's needs such as bathing and diaper changes, feeding, playing, putting to bed... so it isn't like the poor woman has a useless husband.
She can take care of her personal time issue by taking a weekend off alone, or go visit friends, or hire a nanny part time or something instead of dumping her kid.
As kids, we went on summer vacations to be with grandparents but see the attitude with which we're being sent away was different...
Re: Need a break...
maybe she's going through depression.
Re: Need a break...
That's what I think....and I did bring it up to her, but she said she's always had issues with people who are too attached to others and can't believe how folks can sacrifice their lives in the process of raising children. I was a little surprised and told her that usually moms don't consider what they do as a sacrifice but as a privilege, a blessing...but she said there should be limits to that. I guess that's her.
Re: Need a break...
how old are her kids?
Some mothers don't realize it but MANY go through depression at some part of life.
Whether it's right after the baby is born due to hormones, it can also come later on in life as well because everything seems mundane.
Re: Need a break...
Turning 1.
Re: Need a break...
Yes...see it's different when it's because of a temporary situation you're in...such as you ave to go on Hajj where it makes no sense to take the kids, or on a work related trip or to get done with some career requirements.... all of that is very understandable.
But I see two things wrong in the picture above:
The child's father isn't being considered. When he comes home after a hard day's work, he's eager to hug his child and play with him. Why take that away from him? And since I know the family, I know that after work, the dad pretty much takes care of the kid's needs such as bathing and diaper changes, feeding, playing, putting to bed... so it isn't like the poor woman has a useless husband.
She can take care of her personal time issue by taking a weekend off alone, or go visit friends, or hire a nanny part time or something instead of dumping her kid.
As kids, we went on summer vacations to be with grandparents but see the attitude with which we're being sent away was different...
That's what I think....and I did bring it up to her, but she said she's always had issues with people who are too attached to others and can't believe how folks can sacrifice their lives in the process of raising children. I was a little surprised and told her that usually moms don't consider what they do as a sacrifice but as a privilege, a blessing...but she said there should be limits to that. I guess that's her.
She sounds like a selfish and cruel woman.
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