nazi mom

Lifestyle Relationships
1

my mom is such a nazi :frowning: … Well…there are many things that show her naziness…first thing is her being absolutely racist against my friends…if they are desi, she loves them but unfortunately…many of them are black :frowning: … how do i make her see that you can’t judge a person by the color of their skin? …well that was just one prob.. HELP!!! i wanna hang out with my besties without my mom getting mad

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Re: nazi mom

Some parents are stuck in their ways. Are you muslim? Sorry if that seems a silly question however I ask as in Islam we should not judge by colour-this is a social thing nothing to do with what makes a person.

Maybe you could ask your mum what her problem is? Maybe she will be open to educating others about your culture/religion and so on if presented with the idea?

Try talking to your mum about the positive black role models-e.g. Malcolm X, Mohammad Ali, Martin Luther King....you get the picture don't you? A lot of desi parents have visions of all children from black families are gangster rappers with machine guns under their pillows.

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Re: nazi mom

LOL can't help u there ... we as brown ppl are racists

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yes i am muslim and i mean my mom isnt that racist....she just doesnt like me hanging out with people frm other cultures...whether they are black or white...its just that since so many of my friends are black...i guess she is scared that i will forget my culture or values...i just wanna show her that just because i hang out with them...it doesnt mean that i am exactly like them

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Re: nazi mom

If your mum doesnt like you mixing with different cultures. Her and her narrow mind shouldnt be in a different cultured country. Simple. What's wrong with living in pakistan? She'd be well happy with who ever you brought home.

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Re: nazi mom

*Invite them over to your house, try to hang out more at home then outside, and slowly she'll become comfortable for you to be outside with them.
*

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Re: nazi mom

you should introduce them to your mom. once she gets used to them, she will grow to like them.

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Re: nazi mom

I'm sorry to say, your mom is right. Because you are who you chill with. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with other races. I am saying that I could see why she wouldn't be comfortable with you chilling with a group of people that wear shorts in the summer, bikinis to the beach, eat pork, eat haraarm food, listen to music about drugs, sex, and violence, go to college to party, drink at weddings, etc.

You probably do not understand her point of view now, but you will one day.

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Re: nazi mom

LOL @ nazi mom.
I am such a nazi mom :teary1:

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Re: nazi mom

lol how old aer you?

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**
"Unfortunately"**???? If your friends were to read this word....they may even think that you also have issues with their race (I know you don't have one). They're your friends....you didn't look at their race when you befriended them...there's nothing unfortunate about that. Just be careful with your words....even though your intentions are good.....you may accidentally give an otherwise impression to others.

Have you tried asking your mom about why she dislikes Black people? What is her prejudice based upon? For example, did she have a negative experience with a black person.....or is it negative stereotypes picked up from the media such as movies, books, news, etc.??? Is there something about your friends (behavior, manners) that worries her? It's natural for parents to be apprehensive if they don't get a good vibe from the friends their kids have.

If it's a prejudice problem, then removing prejudices about people requires an open mind and positive interactions with others. So, invite your friends over to your house. You can say it's for a project or to study for a test. Maybe when your mom and friends interact a little bit with one another....her perceptions might change a bit. Let's say that your friend says something nice about your mom to you.......you can convey that positive message to your mom. Maybe, in a calm way, give your mom examples of DESIS who are not nice people. And it says in the Quran that Allah made people into tribes and nations so that they can recognize one another....not lord it over one another. U can try to guide her using Islamic references.

^But elders....especially desi elders....in general don't feel comfortable with a younger person "teaching" or "preaching" to them. So, I think that something more "active" and "involved" such as a personal meeting....where you invite friends over may help.

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Sorry to say but your mum is acting like a fool. Its is highly dysfuntional if you live in a multicultural society but still remain in your own cocoon. May be you can talk to your dad about it.

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^Have you recently been acting in a way that may reflect that you're forgetting your culture or values? I've seen some adolescents (those who are minorities) act "ashamed" of their culture and they may not admit to it or even realize it. Slowly, slowly, they may stop participating in cultural/family events and traditions.....they may hang out with family less and less.....may be too self-conscious to speak the native language.....cultural music that they once listened to is not cool anymore....may slowly start holding opinions that differ radically not only from a cultural stand point but even from an individual stand point (in other words not being yourself).

Reflect over it. Maybe your mom is noticing a change in you that you can't see. OR..............perhaps you haven't changed at all and your mom is just worried. In this case..........show her that you're confident in your culture. Talk to her about it. Tell her that you have pride in your culture/religion.......and that this healthy pride enables you to interact with other races with a strong and unshakable confidence. Tell her that you know your values......give her examples of how you actively follow those values. Show her. Maybe that will give her some peace of mind and develop some trust in you.

Becoming tooooo protective of children and over-sheltering can backfire big time. Over-sheltering can sometimes be a sign of insecurity.

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Re: nazi mom

my parents had no problem with who I hung out with when they were sure that I had good judgement and will pick ppl wisely and even if people have different ideals that I will not sacrifice mine under beer pressure..err i mean peer pressure.

so, i think aside from changing her views, you may need to build a stronger trust with her.

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Re: nazi mom

I think if your mum was to get to know them, she would be more relaxed. Sometimes stereotypes and ignorance can lead us to form quick judgments about other people.

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Re: nazi mom

you'll have to help her see beyond color. A good way to start would be to invite them over in small groups, maybe only one or two at a time, and have lunch and conversation. Hopefully, she'll begin to see them as whole, complex people. Not stereotypes.

17

Wow, my cousin is going through the exact same ordeal as you.

It's not that she is racist, she just identifies the bad company with race. Don't shoot her down and label her as a "nazi". Your mom and ONLY your mom will have the best interest in mind for you. You can have all the friends in the world, and all the well wishers...but trust me when you mess up...no one will be there for you except her. She didnt raise you to be called a "nazi"...have respect for her.

It's not just your friends, the guys, the clothes, the language...it's the whole package. You need to start making friends that are good, even if they are from a different race.

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Firstly, she might think she has the best interests in mind for her daughter but that doesn't mean the way she's acting** is in her daughter's best interests. Secondly, it's not always a person's mum (or dad) who will look out for them the most, I know a girl and a boy who were not spoken to for years because they married ppl from the wrong race (thankfully that attitude is a lot rarer in London nowadays tho). In their cases it was their inlaws and friends who looked out for them. A friend of mine was also telling me about some young desi girls working as prostitutes after having emotional difficulties and/or drug problems, as u can prob guess their parents have completely washed their hands of them. Whilst I don't think it's ok to disrespect ur parents u need to also strike a balance, blind obedience or choosing to ignore when u **know someone is doing wrong is not right.

If my mum said she didn't want me having black friends or made nasty comments about them I'd tell her there and then she shouldn't talk that way, not just keep quiet and put it down to culture or her being stuck in her old ways. I wouldn't shout at her but make it clear that what she said isn't any more acceptable than someone else calling her a p*ki.

Sania, can u not even bring one of those friends home so ur mum can get to know her a bit?

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But most of those things mentioned in bold apply to most non-Muslims. If she feels uncomfortable mixing with ppl who eat non-halal food or show skin in the summer what is she doing in a country where all that is so common?? It would be like me moving to a jungle to live alongside some primitive tribe who don't wear clothing then turning around and saying nudity offends me. Like MB said why not just stay in Pakistan if she doesn't like or feel comfortable with different cultures.

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Re: nazi mom

nazi mom ...... neat title ;)