I recall many elderly women saying that you should try not to share news of/reveal your pregnancy to anyone until you are well into the second trimester as “nazar lag jaati hai”.
I am usually the first to write such things off as superstition but with what I have learned over the years about “nazar”, “hasad” and “envy” I am more inclined to believe than to deny this.
What do you think?
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
I had this Hindu co-worker, when she got pregnant she wore a loose black camisole kind of thing over her tops everyday....I thought it was a fashion statement, but then she told me she's covering to protect herself from nazar. Now, I had no idea Hindus believe in this stuff too.
I have yet to come to a conclusion if nazar exists or not. If it does, I need to nazar-mize (as opposed to victimize) a hot dude.
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
I believe in the nazar thing.And it is not only a pregnancy that can get it.Though I believe in it,I am not a crazy fanatic in hiding every thing that can ever get a nazar.
Some people do believe that it is better to keep quiet about the pregnancy due to the nazar thing.But then the first trimester is also the time when the chances of anything going wrong medically speaking,are higher.So* I *think it is better not to make a huge announcement,except for maybe to parents and siblings,until the pregnancy has progressed to the second trimester.
Just my opinion...!!!
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
i personally dont believe in it my inlaws strongly believe in it last week my baby got ill n MIL was like uss ko nazar lagi hai no need to go to doc uss k dhood ki nazar utaro u told me the whole method n thn the mirch vala method also i said yes to her but i didnt followed her took her to doc got her medi her molar teeths r coming thts y she was ahving fever 
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
i did not disclose pregnancy until the second semester moreso because the chance of miscarrying had lessened, but I can see doing so from the "nazar" stand point also. my family is real big on putting the tiny "kaali poth (black bead)" bracelets on infants to protect from nazar..
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
Actually I don't think its just Pakistanis or Indians. People usually don't want to tell anybody before second trimester because things can happen that results in a miscarriage :(
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
I know some women who share news of their pregnancy with every one as soon as the test comes back positive, some who wait until they're past 12 weeks/first trimester and still others who don't hide it per se, but also don't declare it at all - and then surprise! The next time you see them, they've got a baby in their arms.
For the woman in the last category, she described her pregnancy as being very personal to her and not something she wanted to share with people outside of her family - she had a bit of fear of nazar, but more than that, she didn't want to have to cope with answering questions from nosy people - and yeah, some people are nosy. They'll ask: was it a planned pregnancy, did you find out it it's a boy or girl, are you going to stay home, are you going to (add a billion other questions). She said that it almost feels as if knowing someone is pregnant gives others the license to ask personal questions they may not otherwise ask.
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
i did not disclose pregnancy until the second semester moreso because the chance of miscarrying had lessened, but I can see doing so from the "nazar" stand point also. my family is real big on putting the tiny **"kaali poth (black bead)" bracelets on infants **to protect from nazar..
that is common in Andhra....
And Nazar is harmful to us according to islam..
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
I know some women who share news of their pregnancy with every one as soon as the test comes back positive, some who wait until they're past 12 weeks/first trimester and still others who don't hide it per se, but also don't declare it at all - and then surprise! The next time you see them, they've got a baby in their arms.
For the woman in the last category, she described her pregnancy as being very personal to her and not something she wanted to share with people outside of her family - she had a bit of fear of nazar, but more than that, she didn't want to have to cope with answering questions from nosy people - and yeah, some people are nosy. They'll ask: was it a planned pregnancy, did you find out it it's a boy or girl, are you going to stay home, are you going to (add a billion other questions). She said that it almost feels as if knowing someone is pregnant gives others the license to ask personal questions they may not otherwise ask.
oh that would give me a reason to not tell anybody but then I have quite a temper so I would probably walk off if the questions were too much
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
i had planned on telling my relatives (khalas, nani, dadi, cousins) after i hit the 12th week of my pregnancy. I'm a little over 11 weeks now, but 2 days ago i had sudden massive bleeding which scared me to death, and the doctors are not sure what caused it, but the baby is fine alhumdulillah. however after this whole traumatic incident I've decided to put off telling people till the 5th month, or even 6th. i don't care if they get offended, its my news to share, and my husband agrees too. its not because of nazar though. its just... well i dunno, I'm just scared thats all.
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
I had one of the most difficult and horrible pregnancy people said I got nazar but I firmly believe on "jis ko Allah rakhay usko kon chakay" and I did not hide it. However , I know someone who very well kept it a secret although I was quite close to her on the other hand I know someone who has got pregnant like after 7 years of her 1st child and she immediately shared and is doing well masha allah !
it is something that u can not hide for long so in my opinion it's better to share with your loved ones and well wishers in the beginning.
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
this is exactly what my family told me.. since I sahred the pregnancy news as soon as I got the bfp, shared the gender as soon as we walked out of the ultrasound office, and then I had an extremely difficult pregnancy... one week after another I was diagnosed with something.. we were just amazed at how hard the pregnancy can be and some people told us that we got nazr.. it was our first baby after 7 years of marriage.. people assumed our marriage was going to crash due to lack of child and all that stuff and then BAM, pregnancy and the trial period started!
I used to think that to get nazr, a person has to be very envious of you and must have bad intentions for it to really affect you... I never believed in oh you are sick, nazr lag gaye kinda thinking but it had to be very strong and very ill of someone to wish that upon another person!
next time, probably I will share with close friends n family only.. not just because of nazr but I guess it was just too much to deal with to tell people about pregnancy and the hardships that came with it.. i wish I didnt have to explain to many people!!
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
There are many well-documented incidents of nazar, even on our beloved prophet (pbuh)......so we have to accept as a part of our iman that the concept exists and can impact our lives. The only thing that we can do is protect ourselves in the proper way described.
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
Munza, I was pondering over the exact same thing a few days ago.. infact, about whether I should be wearing clothes that hide my bump, or wear whatever I feel like.
I dunno if i believe or dont believe in nazar... but with the first pregnancy, I told close family pretty much staight away... and the rest knew once the first trimester was over...
with this one, pretty much the same thing.. but cus my circle of friends has declined majorly, hardly anyone knows.. and its nice this way :)
But being at work, only a few people know, cus they've just guessed it.
But in regards to clothes... would you hide your bump?
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
There are many well-documented incidents of nazar, even on our beloved prophet (pbuh)......so we have to accept as a part of our iman that the concept exists and can impact our lives.
So true.
But the reasoning behind not making a news out of your pregnancy is many folds, as someone mentioned that its still in earlier stage and not confirmed so people tend to wait till second trimester.
If Nazar was the only reason then why to break the news even in second or third trimester. Nazar tou tab bhee lag saktee hai naa
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
^ true... thats why Hindus dont buy clothes for the baby till after the baby is born... and they dont name the baby either.
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
i wouldnt hide just for nazar's sake... i told bout both pregnancies once i got into the 2nd trimester. only the immediate family knew before that.
my only reason to not tell sooner is what everybody has already said.. just so , that if anything goes wrong god forbid, there isnt a whole pop waiting for an explanation.
waise... i know someone who miscarried in her 8th week.. and had told everyone and their dogs. so when she miscarried... she wrote an email and sent it out to everyone (and their dogs)... and added.. please do not ask me in person ... worked for her i think
as for hiding the bump.... oh ho honey... canada couldnt have hid my bump! i looked like i was carrying sextuplets by the 3rd month, both times! i felt lighter if i wore proper clothing rather than baggy stuff which just made me feel even more heavy and look like gramma bernice befor liposuction!
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
^ lol about carrying sixtuplets in the 3rd month...
with munchkin i didnt show till the 6th month, before that i just looked fat apparently.. but with this one, the bumps already out and about... but im fitting into all my normal things still, its just the bump thats sticking out..
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
We believe in nazar quite a bit in my family. My mom didn't let any of my sisters tell anyone until well into second trimester.
I believe in it. I cannot say ke kisi ko nazar lagte huwe dekha hai. But I can say its real and can affect anyone.
Re: Nazar - Hiding your pregnancy
yes…agreed.
nazar kabhi bhi lag saktee hai.
which is why elders recommend that you remain in your home as much as possible during this time rather than roaming about the town… 