So cut a long story short I haven’t spoken to my Sis for nearly 2 yrs..
trust Is broken n I dnt know who she is, yet ppl still say u should jus forget things n move on. Which I have moved on but jus can’t seem o want to acknowledge her.
Anyone bin in a situation like this…
I feel you...I'm in the same situation. I've been estranged from my older sister for almost 3 years now. Despite being 5 years older than me, she always needs to be bailed out, be it emotionally or financially. After out parents passed away, it got to the point where shouldering her burdens was starting to cause problems between my husband and I. She's always been the black sheep of the family, and we've never really seen anything eye to eye, but at least we were in each others lives. Even though we live in the same city, I see her maybe once every 3 to 4 months, IF she decides/remembers to show up at all. It's been difficult, but I'm coming to terms with it. There comes a point in time when you just have to let go and leave the rest to Allah.
Re: narazgi.....
My sister is my blood. At the end of the day she is all I have left. Unless your sister committed murder and set you up for it you should forgive her. We can't give you any sort of pathetic internet advice if we don't know how severe the crime was.
Personally I know my sister and I would kill and die for each other.
My sister is my blood. At the end of the day she is all I have left. Unless your sister committed murder and set you up for it you should forgive her. We can't give you any sort of pathetic internet advice if we don't know how severe the crime was.
Personally I know my sister and I would kill and die for each other.
True. I agree with this 100%. If my Api were to call me in the middle of the night, or whenever, I would drop it all to be by her side no matter what the differences are between us. But when she chooses not to be a part of mine or my children's lives, unless it's on her terms, and her way all the time, there is not much I can do or say. My door is always open for her should she choose to knock.
Re: narazgi.....
True. I agree with this 100%. If my Api were to call me in the middle of the night, or whenever, I would drop it all to be by her side no matter what the differences are between us. But when she chooses not to be a part of mine or my children's lives, unless it's on her terms, and her way all the time, there is not much I can do or say. My door is always open for her should she choose to knock.
This is what separates siblings or parents from their kids. It is just so hard when one person is willing to let it all go no matter how hard it is but the other person can't get over what has happened during childhood. And the non helping part is if your sibling has a partner who doesn't help them in letting it go.
It is the most hardest thing in the world, loving your sibling so much but only get hatred from them or spiteful words and abuse. I think then it is time to walk away and leave it all to Allah and keep praying for better days.
Re: narazgi.....
.. and there are people like me who miss having a sister every SINGLE day of my life.
I am sorry but you all are a thankless bunch. I love my brothers like anything & I can't even think of the extent of not talking to one.
Re: narazgi.....
DD it is a two way street, no one walks away (especially sisters unless the other sibling has pushed them away) and I really really believed that there was nothing to separate siblings but life proved me otherwise. And it honestly boils down to if someone doesn't want you in their lives they will create situations and sometimes you just gotta get out with a little bit of self respect intact.
I pray no siblings have to go through separation and even more painful is for parents to see their kids not speaking to each other while they are alive. But if a child can walk away from their parents and do unthinkable things to them they can darn well push their siblings away.
DD it is a two way street, no one walks away (especially sisters unless the other sibling has pushed them away) and I really really believed that there was nothing to separate siblings but life proved me otherwise. And it honestly boils down to if someone doesn't want you in their lives they will create situations and sometimes you just gotta get out with a little bit of self respect intact.
I pray no siblings have to go through separation and even more painful is for parents to see their kids not speaking to each other while they are alive. But if a child can walk away from their parents and do unthinkable things to them they can darn well push their siblings away.
Very true
Re: narazgi.....
It is definitely sad when siblings are driven away from each other by life and circumstance. I am very close to mine and I would love to say it would not happen to us, but there is always a first time. I'm sure the siblings who were driven away from each other didn't think at one time that they could come to this particular stage, but there they are.
I keep hearing that things change and relationships are burdened by the additional people we add on to our families, and that you can never say never.
I guess I can only pray it doesn't happen to anyone or myself.
Peace
Re: narazgi.....
^ Aameen to your prayers.
The additions to your family can honestly make or break your family. And this can happen both with girls and guys.
Re: narazgi.....
Normally when they get married, spouse's play a role in moving them apart. This turns out to be the reason for most.
Siblings would otherwise be forgiving enough but when third parties are involved, it just adds fuel to fire probably.
Re: narazgi.....
yes DD, partners play an important role but Allah has given brains to human beings, and it is sad and mind boggling to see kids become so anti sibling or parents.
And all of a sudden the most closest of siblings speak totally different languages. Just very very painful thing :(
Re: narazgi.....
Waise, cutting to the chase and coming to the original OP's situation - if I were you, or someone close to you, I would tell you to keep making the effort with or without hope of reciprocity.
She is your sister. What more is to be said?
So cut a long story short I haven't spoken to my Sis for nearly 2 yrs..
trust Is broken n I dnt know who she is, yet ppl still say u should jus forget things n move on. Which I have moved on but jus can't seem o want to acknowledge her.
Anyone bin in a situation like this.....
Re: narazgi.....
Your sister probably thinks she has no wrongdoing on her part whatsoever. Usually when there are such troubles in a family, each member thinks of him/herself as the victim. She has to realize on her own what her mistake was that caused the two of you to drift apart. By saying that I certainly don't mean you shouldn't try getting back on terms with her.
If I were you, I would continue with my efforts, at the end of the day she is always going to be your sister no matter what.
Re: narazgi.....
I think its kind of unfair to say that "how can you not be close to your siblings" simply because you didn't face any problems with your siblings / parents. If your relationship with your brother and sisters is unbreakable then thank god for it !! But to say people are being "thankless" just coz they don't get along is pretty mean.
There is no rule saying that since you are related by birth everything has to be hunky dory. In fact your loved ones always coz you more pain than anyone else , I guess that's why its harder to forgive.
The OP has been hurt by her sister. Maybe the one person who shouldn't have hurt her?? You can't always turn the other cheek just coz she is your sister.
When you all are kids living under the same roof yea it would be kind of weird if u hated each other. But once your married and have kids and if u don't see eye to eye its not tht big a deal. A lot of families I know has this particular issue.
Besides there are more chances of siblings falling out with coz your priorities in life change so much after you had your own kids that your brother or sisters will come second or third. And so many outside factors like one sibling being richer than the other causes jealousy and insecurity. Parents leaving more money to one child than the other. Your brother or sister's kids doing better than your own kids etc etc.....
There is this particular gujju family, 4 brother lived together with their wife + kids but after like 20 yrs god know what happened 1 of them fell out and eventually moved out and the business had to be divided up.
I mean hey if the Ambani's cant get along inspite of having everything ......
Re: narazgi.....
There are always two sides to any story or conflict. Everyone is innocent.
We are four sisters and Allah knows we do not see eye to eye on many things. We fight, we argue and we get on each other's nerves like crazy. We've also been through the whole Im-not-talking-to-her-unless-she-talks-first bit. We might even go through it again at some point. I don't know.
What I will say though is the way things are right now and will always be...it takes all of us to make anything happen. Not just one. It seems as if unless we're all in it, things are always half-a**. And maybe that's Allah swt's way of telling us that no matter how stupid or idiotic the other is being...at the end of the day...you do need them.
You will never be complete or satisfied unless you fix this - even if its not your fault.
You're posting here today because it bothers you. And until its fixed...it always will.
Re: narazgi.....
I was a teen - when my father passed away - And After him , I have raised my siblings like my own kids .... And no matter what but one can't stay naraz with his/her kids for long .. And so far they haven't given me a single chance to complain ..
Re: narazgi.....
I just think you have to be very forgiving when it comes to siblings - big things happen in families, even minor ones but it all depends on how tolerant and loving you are to your sibling. Even if they are being mean to you, they are in the end your blood relations, people you have spent your basic grooming years, they are a big part of who you are today.
I don't see any of the reasons THAT big that you will not come to terms with anything & reconcile. If my brother asked for my money, my plot, division in my parent's wealth .. I'd give it all if it makes him/them happy. If my spouse asks me not to meet them, I'll fight for it till the end. If they have been unfair with me, I'd talk it out with them. I am not praising our upbringing or being pompous about anything .. we too have had our share of grievances but in the end our love for each other bypasses all the reasons that can screw it up.
Re: narazgi.....
There are always two sides to any story or conflict. Everyone is innocent.
You will never be complete or satisfied unless you fix this - even if its not your fault.
You're posting here today because it bothers you. And until its fixed...it always will.
Sometimes there is only one side - in other words, some people can be pretty insensitive and inconsiderate - it is their way or the highway.
yes OP posted here because it affects her. But without knowing details, to just say fix it probably may do more damage to OP. Sometimes fixing it may mean walking away
Re: narazgi.....
"And it honestly boils down to if someone doesn't want you in their lives they will create situations and sometimes you just gotta get out with a little bit of self respect intact. "
So nicely put.