Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

[Nancy_Drew]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

y dont u n ur husband finalise the name... let every1 suggest different names but i believe u both shud pick a name...

[Hmmna]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

Hi CB, the trick is to make everyone feel involved but do what suits you.

This has the potential to get very messy so do a lot of pre-emptive chalaki. Some good suggestions above. I would never say that this name is from nana, nani or dada, dadi as it will leave the other feeling offended.

So ask your parents what they want and slowly brainwash your hubby and in-laws. If they suggest a name you can reject it on watever basis u wish. E.g. I knew a girl with that name and now I have bad association with it.etc, etc. and then stick to your guns.

If you try and keep every1 happy it won't happen. My sister announced early in her pregnancy that she was going to choose the name and every1 made peace with it. My niece is adored by all her grand parents and the name never became an issue as my sister made boundaries clear from beginning

[Hmmna]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

@Chicken_Biryani

Mirage , thats where i have the edge .. my father and my FIL are both easy going and hence why I feel confident that they wont create any issues ..

Its the BIL’s and SIL’s that i worry about .. they are trouble mongers and if their involvement is limited to the beginning of the process , rest is easy , me thinks

Lol enjoy your pregnancy and baby CB. If you are firm from beginning the BIL and SIL shudnt be a problem. If you waver at all, then be ready for a lot of interference.

[Chicken_Biryani]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

hmmna , that sounds solid .. I am now thinking perhaps i am involving too many people .. I think i like your tact . thanks so much for sharing your thoughts

[Chicken_Biryani]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

Lol enjoy your pregnancy and baby CB. If you are firm from beginning the BIL and SIL shudnt be a problem. If you waver at all, then be ready for a lot of interference.

Makes sense , perhaps its best that I dont let anyone know at this stage that mom dad will have the final say in naming the baby ... i will get mom dad to tell me the names they like and then will start spreading it across the inlaws .. to be honest i dont care about anyone other then my Parents in law and my parents .. but yes I love your advise regards the tact that may be required to handle everyone

[Hmmna]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

:) I had a lot of practice given my sis and bro have had babies as have all my cousins.

I think you are being very considerate with every1s feelings but it is impossible to keep every1 happy. If the ultimate name comes from you and hubby no one will make an issue.

You know the saying too many cooks spoil the broth.

[mirage]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

@Chicken_Biryani

Mirage , thats where i have the edge .. my father and my FIL are both easy going and hence why I feel confident that they wont create any issues ..

Its the BIL’s and SIL’s that i worry about .. they are trouble mongers and if their involvement is limited to the beginning of the process , rest is easy , me thinks

I dont believe the bils and SILS should have a say in this regard. But if its in the family already, like if they are in habit of selecting names, they might be a problem

have they shown any such intent already?

[mirage]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

@Chicken_Biryani

Makes sense , perhaps its best that I dont let anyone know at this stage that mom dad will have the final say in naming the baby … i will get mom dad to tell me the names they like and then will start spreading it across the inlaws .. to be honest i dont care about anyone other then my Parents in law and my parents .. but yes I love your advise regards the tact that may be required to handle everyone

and this is exactly what i suggested in post# 15

i knew i am a genius. pats my shoulder.

[Chicken_Biryani]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

yup they have mirage .. but i have already made it clear that no harm in suggesting names but eventually decisions will be made by us and we will involve both sets of grandparents when we deem it to be fit … but i thought i will just take advise here as well coz before i go about telling anyone of my intentions i need a strategy .. i am in the younger age group in the brothers and sisters heirarchy and i hate it when everyone starts playing the respect us card ! but hey ho , thats life .. so yeah i am clear on one thing now, suggestions from all, respect to both sets of parents and decision by husband and I .. perfect combo

[Chicken_Biryani]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

@mirage

and this is exactly what i suggested in post# 15

i knew i am a genius. pats my shoulder.

yeah you can murga bana me for not listening to you

[mirage]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

@Chicken_Biryani

yup they have mirage .. but i have already made it clear that no harm in suggesting names but eventually decisions will be made by us and we will involve both sets of grandparents when we deem it to be fit … but i thought i will just take advise here as well coz before i go about telling anyone of my intentions i need a strategy .. i am in the younger age group in the brothers and sisters heirarchy and i hate it when everyone starts playing the respect us card ! but hey ho , thats life ..** so yeah i am clear on one thing now, suggestions from all, respect to both sets of parents and decision by husband and I .. perfect combo**

then what about honouring your parents for naming the baby now :hinna:

i dont blame you your hormones are playing

[Chicken_Biryani]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

ohhh heck , I didnt think of that .. I am so lost

[Hmmna]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

@mirage

have a talk with your husband first. Remind him what you bith had decided about name selection if its a boy. Sing some song that can bring his memory back (like they do in indian movies ) also refer to the nagin dance if stimulation needed

U r so funny. Have to look nagin dance now

[Hmmna]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

@mirage

then what about honouring your parents for naming the baby now :hinna:

i dont blame you your hormones are playing

She tells everyone that she and hubby loves this name and then just keep it but not make it common knowledge that her parents suggested it. Simples

CB your mum and dad will feel honoured anyway. You are a very sweet daughter and as you said they are thrilled already. Just go with whatever name suits your baby and enjoy him. This is not the time to be stressed.

[mirage]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

@Hmmna

U r so funny. Have to look nagin dance now

CBoo knows what I mean

[mirage]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

@Chicken_Biryani

ohhh heck , I didnt think of that .. I am so lost

know what CB, talk to your hubs about it first. and remind him of what you both talked about earlier. lets see how he feels about it. I am keeping my fingers crossed he respects your wish of having the name of the baby selected by your parents. the strategy of how to make it possible then can always be planned later. There is a plenty of time.

[Gemini_the_Great]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

I havent read the comments but this is what we did.. we chose the name and asked the parents/in laws if they liked it!! my MIL in fact said that she had the same name in her head, my mom loved it too.. easy peasy! but then remember we chose a very regular name with lots of history about it so it was easy... my husband and I however went back and forth for choosing the middle name and at the end we decided the names for before and after eid ul adha (which was right around my due date) so he got the name that was chosen if he was born after eid ul adha! :-)

Unless and until you are coming up with a very new name that people may have hard time pronouncing or doesnt have significance in islamic history, whatever name you choose, your elders will be okay with it.

[prototype]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

In our desi set-ups, just dont get the idea behind grandparents from either side or phuppiyaan choosing a name for the baby and if not asked,they make it an issue of izzat and be-izzati in no time ! they had kids years back and had full pleasure of parenting and naming..abb jinka bacha hai unko karnay do..esp the MOM because she is the one who has to call him/her the MOST all the time ! My husband changed the name of my second one after 16 months of his birth and when a stupid aunty of him told that astrology wise it s not suitable for him AND then he made his friend do an istakhara (a friend jo khud se hee bahut bara peer banta phirta hai and never seen me or kids ever and lives in another country) who suggested WAHHAB (not even Abdul Wahhab) which according to him he saw clearly in his dream. MONTHS of fights,arguments,rona dhona and what not and I had to give up in the end to maintain peace in my house And now it is so SO so hard calling him with a new name because a) he had another name for 16 months and b) I dont like this name ..

so CB please make sure you like the name and choose them according to your choice and then make grandparents finalise

Wishing you a healthy baby and a safe,easy delivery iA

[WendyDarling]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

We chose the name and asked inlaws and my parents what they thought of it. My dad already knew what we had chosen long before baby was born and he loved it. He did have another name in mind, beautiful name that too but hubby liked the one we had chosen. Inlaws loved it too!
If I ever have another girl I would love to name her what my father had originally thought for my first. Not because he’s my dad and I’d let him name the kid whatever he wants but because the name he’d chosen was actually very beautiful

Like some of the others have said. Why don’t you and hubby make a list of your top 3 or top 2 names. And ask your parents which one they like better. That way you won’t be stuck with a weird name just because you asked the parents to name your child.
Personally, I think that naming the child should be up to the parents of the child and them only. I don’t understand this tradition of having daada daadi/naana nani name YOUR child. Makes zero sense.

[Sweetmoi]

Re: Naming the first baby and Family involvement..

I think its important you dont make it all about your parents and how much they wanna celebrate baby boy in their/your family. I actually do understand your husbands point of view, because even though there are other grandchildren, in desi sense this is sort of THEIR grandson and on top of that first one from first son.

I think you should make a short list and let both grandfather choose a name. It will be the easiest and hopefully no one will be offended. There is no need for extra chalakis and I dont know what. I do suggest though that you dont give someone hope that they will have a say in the naming and then completely reject their ideas. It can be quite hurtful for the party involved. Make the boundaries clear from the start that you and husband are going to suggest, and family can choose from those names or family is going to suggest and you guys will have the final word.

Congrats :)