Who has the utmost right to name the couple’s first born? Can the in laws interfere by saying it is their last wish to name the child ! They have already done that for the other grandkid ! I respect their eagerness to name the child but they werent there when the pregnant woman needed them to take care of her and instead her parents took care of her by keeping her at their house for the last two trimesters and havent even said a word regarding the name ! They very well understand the sensitivity of this matter. Why do in laws baffle me so much !!!
Just listen to their suggestions. If you don’t like it, don’t name your kid that.
I’m not sure how it works in…well…any country really, at the hospital and the naming and stuff…I’ve heard ppl say the MIL named the kid while she was knocked out, and the birth certificate has the MIL’s choice’s name. That’s really crappycakes tho
The best part is I am giving birth in another country than my in laws which saved the “named while mum knocked out” part lol! But that gets me though. Also is it common with mother in law when you mention that you have certainkind of pain which is making your everyday life difficult and she insists that she went through exactly same thing as you. I mean no two pregnancies are identical lol! The naming part me and my husband have a name for our baby but we havent disclosed it to anyone yet since we are keeping a mouth shut about gender as well! If it was just a suggestion sort of thing; i would have mentioned it but they were very specific about the names either boy or girl and it is giving me a lot of stress.
What is there to stress about? Either you will use their suggestion or you won’t. Make the decision and execute it respectfully. Don’t open the topic up to discussion.
If you have a family shaykh or something or 'alim sometimes people go to them for naming a child … By doing that it can prevent the fitnah of the inlaws too.
Another way is to ask the inlaws for a number of suggestions - it may be that they choose a really nice name that you love.
Go in with a name picked out and feel free to tell the nurse and the doctor the name you two chose. Also your husband can deal with his parents saying, he picked the name out. They won’t hold it against their son.
^ agreed. The thing is OP, it differs from family to family and is different from individual to individual. It is upto you to set whatever precedent you wish and your husband. In MY opinion, it is the mother’s right and I myself availed that. But it is important to have your husband on board so that he can counter any resistance from his end. Also you should counter resistance your end yourself too in a similar manner. Couple should decide IMO but it is fine if they go with decision of elders. Right I feel is of the mother.
Omg that’s awful! It’s YOUR child! That’s absolutely ridiculous! I really don’t understand the mindset of people like this.
Is your husband backing you on your decision for what you wish to name the baby? If he is, then let ILs give as many suggestions as they want, and just say haan ji haan ji, and end up doing what the two of you want. If he’s also insisting that you should use the name his parents suggest… then there’s not much you can do
You have a huge advantage and should be fine as you live in another country so I don’t really see a problem.
My MIL wants us to name our daughter (if we have one Inshallah) after her lol. I don’t really want to do this and I’ve told my husband that and we’ve already picked names as well for either sex. In the end it’s your and your husband’s choice so don’t stress over it. If it’s your in-laws, you should tell your husband to just let them know that it was HIS decision AFTER you guys have already named the baby.
You won’t really be dealing with them during your delivery so you don’t have to worry about it. Take their name suggestions and just politely acknowledge them and tell them “we’ll think about” but make no promises.
If this happened in the US, that pretty freaky. The hospital hands you a huge stack of docs you have to fill out (for the birth certificate, SSN and such)…if the MIL filled out all that herself and turned it in while the mom was knocked out that’s pretty wild lol. That’s a very taiz MIL.
It is the right of parents to name their child. Input of other elders of family us also appreciated but they cannot force it.
My first born was named was by his father (he had a strong wish to name his son , a specific name, long before our wedding … For younger three we both chose the names… And thankfully my in laws supported us for the most part.
I just became a phupho, alhamdulillah. And while my brother did ask my parents to name the baby, we knew the mother still had right. So basically the baby is given a name, his parents chose and all of us appreciated that.
My inlaws didn’t show any interest in naming our kids, they left it up to us. My father only gently suggested that we name them after a prophet of sahabi and left it at that. With two of sons, we did just that, but it was still our choice of name and with the third, his name is neither that of sahabi nor a prophet but it was still a well loved name and appreciated by all.
I agree that it should be up the parents to name their own kids. Advice and suggestions from elders should definitely be respected and taken into consideration, but never forced. It’s choti choti baatain like this that breeds resentment for no reason.
If you absolutely need to use a name they suggest, use it as the middle name. Like some others suggested, you have to set up the expectations in a way that they realize that their suggestion is one of many you guys will entertain.
