Re: my turmoils begin again. fed.up of myself.
Ditto to the above.
If you want my honest opinion I think if you actually want this relationship to survive one of you needs to give up and go by the others way of life. If you are going to be that person it’s a case of living in Pakistan with the MIL and doing as they wish or else your turmoil will never end.
I know a family where the woman is married to a guy that runs in local elections in Pakistan. His lifestyle out there is ayaashi. He sits around all day, people visit him and invite him out to dinner blah blah blah. When he came over to the UK his FIL expected him to work and financially support his family. He refused on the grounds that he was ‘better than that’. So he went back to Pakistan and his wife visited him every 2 years for 8 years to get pregnant. They’ve been married for over 18 years and now the woman is facing the fact the UK government will no longer happily give her benefits to support her weird lifestyle. I’m not saying this will be you in a few years time; I think you really need to think about what direction you are willing to see your relationship sail to.
If your marriage was arranged you could ask elders to speak to him. No one likes seeing their children’s marriages dissolve or end up second best.