Re: My Sister's Friend
Pretty sad indeed! Poor thing just tried showing some interest in you, didn't commit a crime that you had to embarrass her that way. I hope and pray she can find a guy who is respectful to her.
Re: My Sister's Friend
I predict that S Baji and the sister won't be that great friends anymore.
Either the Baji will be so embarrassed and will avoid Hassan007 and sister... or she'll cry in front of the sister and further humiliate herself. But their relationship will be changed. And why? Because the OP called, asking Baji what her problem is. He could have called her to ask her how her relationship is with his sister, if things are ok, and apologize if he misled her.
Re: My Sister's Friend
If younger boys like older woman its fine but an older woman should never show interest in a few yr younger guy. u n ur sis both over reacted just coz she's a few yrs older than u. do u insult all ur interests/proposals same way?
Re: My Sister's Friend
Hassan bhayya, for future, try to broaden your domain of human interaction to include a bit of masculine touch to it. It looks like you’ve been hanging out a bit too much in an area dominated by feminine presence. I mean its very commendable that you despite being a busy professional take time out to go to your sister’s place who by the way is married, and help her out in all things kitchen, chatting up and passing salt around. But see this is where the problem is brewing. Had you been spending more time hanging out with your guy friends somewhere outside, poor ol’ S baji wouldn’t be getting messed up in her head today. So go ahead , man up, ring your budds, plan a night out, loosen up and hunt down the chicks the old fashion way.
Enough with passing salt around in the kitchen and chatting up with two other females.
Re: My Sister’s Friend
what does ‘S Baji’ stand for? Sexy Baji? 
Re: My Sister's Friend
Hassan, you behaved as if......you perhaps thought that "S" would continue to chase you or that she will destroy your izzat or something. If she has already been rejected once, I don't think she'd have the confidence to pursue you any further.
I'm hoping that the two women (your sister and S) can eventually go back to being friends again.......but I wouldn't be surprised if that relationship (as Soundarya mentioned) is not the same anymore......because your unnecessary confrontation would have increased that awkwardness in their relationship. I think that if you had just remained quiet and been patient........"S" would have moved on from this with more dignity/izzat.
*****Put yourself in "S" Baji's position. Let's say that you had a romantic interest in a girl (but she didn't know about it). And the girl's parents or her siblings give you the hint that they're not interested.....you would feel hurt right? And in this situation....I don't think you would want the girl to reject you a second time. Anyhow, chalk it up to learning experience.
Re: My Sister's Friend
Hassan, you behaved as if......you perhaps thought that "S" would continue to chase you or that she will destroy your izzat or something. If she has already been rejected once, I don't think she'd have the confidence to pursue you any further. I think that if my family (let's say parents or siblings) had given a guy the hint that I was not interested......I would assume he got the message and that there would be no need for me to "reject" him a second time. That would be awkward for me....and hurtful/embarrassing for the other party.
I'm hoping that the two women (your sister and S) can eventually go back to being friends again.......but I wouldn't be surprised if that relationship (as Soundarya mentioned) is not the same anymore......because your unnecessary confrontation would have increased that awkwardness in their relationship. I think that if you had just remained quiet and been patient........"S" would have moved on from this with more dignity. Anyhow, chalk it up to learning experience.
Looking at all the replies, comments and material provided, i think in this drama every thing OP said about the S Baji and later "S" ONLY is somewhat twisted, i mean, is it not possible that The OP have done all the thing which he claims S Baji did...
provided if all this is not imagination and it did happened
I mean look at it, OP claimed to be 27 years old and is busy professional, yet he is annoyed/disturbed by the actions of S Baji??? he is not 17 years old munda who do not know anything (well i think i cannot claim that any more, 17 years old now a days knows every thing), he could have just ignored it like it never happened..
2ndly, i don't know if in family get together, you mingle that much in opposite gender... there are certain limitations... the things OP told about S Baji makes her of some loose character woman who is openly sending singles in the presence of everyone, which the sister of OP has taken note of... i wonder how many others have noted it as well????
there are many other loose ends in this story/imagination
Re: My Sister's Friend
Looking at all the replies, comments and material provided, i think in this drama every thing OP said about the S Baji and later "S" ONLY is somewhat twisted, i mean, is it not possible that The OP have done all the thing which he claims S Baji did...
So, are you saying that the OP is S Baji or that the OP is a female? It's possible....but one can get an idea of the OP's gender by reading his previous posts/threads. He sounds like a guy to me. OR......are you saying that the OP is the one who got rejected in this harsh manner by a girl that he was interested in? That's possible. So, going by the hypothesis that the OP did all that he claims S Baji did........that would be like saying that OP himself was interested in a girl that was several years older than him, right? But just recently I read a post by the OP (from not too long ago) stating that he prefers to marry someone younger than him. That's a contradiction.
I mean look at it, OP claimed to be 27 years old and is busy professional, yet he is annoyed/disturbed by the actions of S Baji??? he is not 17 years old munda who do not know anything (well i think i cannot claim that any more, 17 years old now a days knows every thing), he could have just ignored it like it never happened..
^That's right. And I think this is the basis which made some people question if perhaps the OP himself may have given "signals" of interest......and was in denial about them or wasn't aware of them. Even I wondered that as well. Kind of like the saying, "The bitten dog hollers the loudest." I mean if you are truly not interested in a girl.........why do you have to become so defensive about it? Why do you have to go out of your way to prove it? Your family (your sister) should believe you when you say you're not interested in her friend. UNLESS.........the reactions of his family were so harsh.............UNLESS he had some fear that "S" Baji might still try to pursue him........or that she might hurt his reputation among the community.....and that prompted him to call her up and reject her a second time? It's a bit much in my opinion, but you never know. ** ****Hmm.....OP's sister was annoyed and asked the OP if he had anything going on with his sister? If the OP (during the party or at the dinner table) acted like he was not interested in S......then his sister shouldn't be so suspicious. But one could even think that if his own sister is questioning his role in this situation........then perhaps his own body language/behavior may have led his sister and the guests to wonder if he himself had an interest in her. Although....the OP has said that he's friendly....and maybe S misjudged his friendliness.*
2ndly, i don't know if in family get together, you mingle that much in opposite gender... there are certain limitations... the things OP told about S Baji makes her of some loose character woman who is openly sending singles in the presence of everyone, which the sister of OP has taken note of... i wonder how many others have noted it as well????
Hmm, I went back and read the OP's original post. It seems there was some flirting taking place in the kitchen.......and at that time, it seems that it was only OP, his sister, and S. He says that S had come to help....and started talking to him.....and he said that S usually never helps out. So, if she usually doesn't do this............then this could even imply that in former years.......she perhaps wasn't so proactive in flirting/talking to him. He also said that she kept asking him when he planned to get married.....which he claims that she had "never" done before. I mean they knew each other for 8 years.......and if he just recently noticed this change of behavior in her.........then either she's not as "loose" as you're thinking......OR.......perhaps she was more flirtatious with other guys besides the OP during those earlier years. *When S talked to his sister over the phone.........at least she was honest about her intentions/desire for marriage.
*
there are many other loose ends in this story/imagination
.
Re: My Sister's Friend
So, are you saying that the OP is S Baji or that the OP is a female? It's possible....but one can get an idea of the OP's gender by reading his previous posts/threads. He sounds like a guy to me. OR......are you saying that the OP is the one who got rejected in this harsh manner by a girl that he was interested in? That's possible. So, going by the hypothesis that the OP did all that he claims S Baji did........that would be like saying that OP himself was interested in a girl that was several years older than him, right? But just recently I read a post by the OP (from not too long ago) stating that he prefers to marry someone younger than him. That's a contradiction. .
I am not talking about gender of the OP, what i am trying to say is that it is possible that the OP has done all the acts which he now claims S Baji was doing and S baji on the other hand had reacted as OP has reacted and it is possible that S Baji has told the whole incident to her friend, which happens to be the elder sister of OP... and sister confronted her brother and brother in reply called S Baji and sunaying her bay'bha'o key... It is man's world, and men try to take advantage of different scenarios...
^That's right. And I think this is the basis which made some people question if perhaps the OP himself may have given "signals" of interest......and was in denial about them or wasn't aware of them. Even I wondered that as well. Kind of like the saying, "The bitten dog hollers the loudest." I mean if you are truly not interested in a girl.........why do you have to become so defensive about it? Why do you have to go out of your way to prove it? Your family (your sister) should believe you when you say you're interested in her friend. UNLESS.........the reactions of his family were so harsh.............UNLESS he had some fear that "S" Baji might still try to pursue him........or that she might hurt his reputation among the community.....and that prompted him to call her up and reject her a second time? It's a bit much in my opinion, but you never know. ** ****Hmm.....OP's sister was annoyed and asked the OP if he had anything going on with his sister? If the OP (during the party or at the dinner table) acted like he was not interested in S......then his sister shouldn't be so suspicious. But one could even think that if his own sister is questioning his role in this situation........then perhaps his own body language/behavior may have led his sister and the guests to wonder if he himself had an interest in her. Although....the OP has said that he's friendly....and maybe S misjudged his friendliness.*
Is he friendly with all the female friends of her sister(s) and female colleagues??? now that is something normally males don't digests.. and i would like to quote Janwar's reply in it... it takes two to tango...this is possible that after being "Caught" by her sister, OP just backed off and blamed S Baji for everything....
Hmm, I went back and read the OP's original post. It seems there was some flirting taking place in the kitchen.......and at that time, it seems that it was only OP, his sister, and S. He says that S had come to help....and started talking to him.....and he said that S usually never helps out. So, if she usually doesn't do this............then this could even imply that in former years.......she perhaps wasn't so proactive in flirting/talking to him. He also said that she kept asking him when he planned to get married.....which he claims that she had "never" done before. I mean they knew each other for 8 years.......and if he just recently noticed this change of behavior in her.........then either she's not as "loose" as you're thinking......OR.......perhaps she was more flirtatious with other guys besides the OP during those earlier years. When S talked to his sister over the phone.........at least she was honest about her intentions/desire for marriage.
If i would to comment on it, i would say, normally women try not to flirt in front of guy's sister..doesn't matter if she is her best friend.... may be she was sick of OP's flirting and asked him that when the hell are you getting married???
Re: My Sister’s Friend
JANWAR IT ALL ADDS UP NOW 
I kid I kid.
As people have said, you should see whether you gave any unintentional signals or not. 
Re: My Sister's Friend
I am not talking about gender of the OP, what i am trying to say is that it is possible that the OP has done all the acts which he now claims S Baji was doing and S baji on the other hand had reacted as OP has reacted and it is possible that S Baji has told the whole incident to her friend, which happens to be the elder sister of OP... and sister confronted her brother and brother in reply called S Baji and sunaying her bay'bha'o key...
**^Yes, and I addressed that possibility of the OP behaving in the same manner he claims S Baji behaved. You're basically talking about a reversal of roles. I get that. And my question is that......let's assume that it is indeed a reversal of roles......are we still maintaining that the girl in this situation is STILL older than the guy? Are we keeping S Baji's age the same in this reversal? If so......the OP mentioned recently (in another thread) that he prefers a girl several years younger than him. That was the contradiction I was talking about. Going by the theory of role reversal.........let's say that the OP was indeed flirting with S Baji and even entertained the possibility of marrying her......and that he later got rejected by S.......why is he calling her Baji? Why would you call a girl whom you're interested in as Baji?
I understand what you're trying to say though. You're saying that OP may have been hitting on S.....and led S to believe that he was interested. His sister got very angry........and that "anger" scared him or pressured him enough to call S Baji and "reject" her by perhaps telling her that his actions were no more than brotherly interactions. That is a really twisted thing to do. That's like placing yourself in denial....and seems kind of out there. The guy maintains that he wasn't flirting with her.......and that rather HE was the one who surprised by S's boldness. Something either isn't adding up.......or is odd about this situation. **
Is he friendly with all the female friends of her sister(s) and female colleagues??? now that is something normally male don't digests.. and i would like to quote Janwar's reply in it... it taks two to tango...this is possible that after being "Caught" by her sister, OP just backed off and blamed S Baji for everything....
Well.....it's based upon the idea of "it takes two to tango" that several people wondered (even I was curious) if the OP had unintentionally led S Baji on.
If i would to comment on it, i would say, normally women try not to flirt in front of guy's sister..doesn't matter if she is her best friend.... may be she was sick of OP's flirting and asked him that when the hell are you getting married???
^That's what I meant when I said that I found it interesting that the OP's sister questioned HIM if there was "anything" going on between him and her friend. Maybe the sister questioned in this way...........because her own brother (the OP's) actions might have even unintentionally suggested interest in her friend. Anyhow, the dynamics of relationships are complex, and we weren't there to witness them.....so it's hard to say what exactly went down between them.
Re: My Sister's Friend
^That's what I meant when I said that I found it interesting that the OP's sister questioned HIM if there was "anything" going on between him and her friend. Maybe the sister questioned in this way...........because her own brother (the OP's) actions might have even unintentionally suggested interest in her friend. Anyhow, the dynamics of relationships are complex, and we weren't there to witness them.....so it's hard to say what exactly went down between them.
Redvelvet, I think you are female... all my replies are based on the nature/attitude of the majority of the males towards the females who are either widow, single and over-aged by society standard etc... it is possibility that what OP saying is true and that girl has found no one but her best-friend's brother to flirt in front of her...
Re: My Sister's Friend
^And I've addressed your question in terms of "possibilities" here........(the possibility that what the OP said is right....and the possibility that OP also had an interest and acted accordingly). Since neither of us (male or female) witnessed the actions of the OP and S Baji.....all we have to go by on......is the OP's story.....AND.......possibilities/theories that we come up with. I think that's pretty much a given/or understood. It would be interesting to see how the OP responds to the current views of the members....IF he responds.
Re: My Sister's Friend
Its fault of your sister. How could she let her friend be 31 and stll single. She should have found a match for her.
The best Answer for this sittuation.
Re: My Sister's Friend
As people have said, you should see whether you gave any unintentional signals or not. :)
Not any more. I think at this point he needs to give it a rest and stop obsessing. It's like the first time someone has shown interest in him, and he doesn't know how to handle it. She liked him, he didn't like her. It could've just ended there. But that unnecessary confrontation is due to his obsessing and making this a bigger deal than it is.
Let it go so that poor girl can save some face.
Re: My Sister's Friend
Woops I missed his reply!
Re: My Sister's Friend
Calm down people. I exaggerated when i said "what her problem is". The truth is, we had decent conversation and i apologized to her first. I said to her, if i un-knowingly said something to give her the wrong impression i whole heartily apologize. And actually appreciated and thanked her for consideration. Told her that she is wonderful and very humble person (which she is) and i have nothing but respect for her. I also told her that she deserves nothing but best and i think i am little immature in my ways of doing things sometimes.
To that she said sorry and teared up. I told her that she doesn't need to be sorry for anything. So she was feeling better and it is insha'allah going to be ok.
I talked to my sister last evening and i got very heavy dant from my sister and my mother as well! Not to mention the hours of lecture from my dad. And their reason was, "serf ketabain parhnai say insaan parha likha nahi ho ja ta" you need to apply that knowledge to your real life. So after that my sister called S and went to her house to apologize and told her that she is very sorry if her brother (me) gave any kind of wrong impression to her in regards to all that happened.
Re: My Sister's Friend
Hassan, you behaved as if......you perhaps thought that "S" would continue to chase you or that she will destroy your izzat or something. If she has already been rejected once, I don't think she'd have the confidence to pursue you any further.
I'm hoping that the two women (your sister and S) can eventually go back to being friends again.......but I wouldn't be surprised if that relationship (as Soundarya mentioned) is not the same anymore......because your unnecessary confrontation would have increased that awkwardness in their relationship. I think that if you had just remained quiet and been patient........"S" would have moved on from this with more dignity/izzat. *****Put yourself in "S" Baji's position. Let's say that you had a romantic interest in a girl (but she didn't know about it). And the girl's parents or her siblings give you the hint that they're not interested.....you would feel hurt right? And in this situation....I don't think you would want the girl to reject you a second time. Anyhow, chalk it up to learning experience.
Dear RV. I think you are right. I shouldn't have caused additional embarrassment to her. As i stated in my previous post that the phone conversation was decent but despite the fact no matter how the conversation went... i shouldn't have called her...period. Friendship between my sister and her is very strong for all i know so it will take little time but insh'allah by time everything is going to be ok. Thanks for your post RV!
Re: My Sister's Friend
Is he friendly with all the female friends of her sister(s) and female colleagues??? now that is something normally males don't digests.. and i would like to quote Janwar's reply in it... it takes two to tango...this is possible that after being "Caught" by her sister, OP just backed off and blamed S Baji for everything.... If i would to comment on it, i would say, normally women try not to flirt in front of guy's sister..doesn't matter if she is her best friend.... may be she was sick of OP's flirting and asked him that when the hell are you getting married???
You know what as bitter the truth is, i should say i am little flirtatious person. So yes when i was lectured by my family because they know that i can carry on a little. You can call this..one of my flaws in my personality. Thanks for your post as well hannibal!.
Re: My Sister's Friend
That is another interesting point to note. Because she said that not once but probably three or four times in different occasions.
dekha??? ab to apna shak yakeen meine badal lo and tell ur parents abt it