I have an elder sister who has really close and good friend of hers who is around 31 and single. I have known lets call her “S baji” for more like 8 years. Even before my sister got married they both used to hang around our house for all i know whenever she would invite her. Now recently just about a months ago i started to take notice of thing in dawat or get together at my sister’s house whenever “S baji” talked to me. Which recently involved a lot of flirting and gone from calling my name to “Hun”??
So this dawat just before ramadan, i came bit early to help out my sister in the kitchen and my sister’s friend was also happen to be there talking and helping my sister as well.
i know she never would and does. So we were all talking and when i said “S baji” can you pass the salt please? So passed me salt and saying “when i am standing beside you, main tum hare baji tu nahi lagti?” All throughout the dinner i felt that she basically was trying to get close to me and at the dinner interviewing me about when do i plan on getting married and so on. I know that S baji never asked these question so it was very uncomfortable all through out. And the way she was asking and kept hitting my arms lightly.
Later on my sister called me next day, and she sounded very annoyed. So she began by asking if i have anything going on with her friend. And of course there is nothing from my side so i told her no absolutely not. I asked her why is she asking, my sister told me that, that S baji made several remarks which she never did. So my sister told me she said to her things like, “it seems i am getting close to your brother”, " if he is still looking then i can ask my parents about your brother?. These comments made my sister very annoyed and she told S baji that i have not yet decided to commit to marriage at the moment. I had a long talk with my sister after that and she calmed down after talking to me.
Since then things have been very uncomfortable all through-out?. So out of my curiosity, i asked her if everything was OK and supposedly back to normal about all that happened?
And for what my sister told me that they haven’t talked since that telephone call. And now i sort of feel guilty that because of me my sister is not talking to her friend anymore.
Tell me, why do i feel so “guilty”?. Who was right and who was wrong in all this??
Hmm if this is all that there is to the story, then def its your sister's frnds fault. However are you sure you never gave her any signs, even unintentionally, that made her feel as if you were interested in her?.
I am sure its gonna be little odd for your sister to interact with her friend for a while but with time it should be ok. Though i do wonder, why her friend behaved the way she did. It's not appropriate so maybe your sister keeping a distance from her wont be that bad of an idea either. Hmm.
If this is all there is to it...then its SBaji's fault. But I would really analyze your behaviour and see if you inadvertantly gave out the wrong signal? At any point did you say something that could be misinterpreted? It may have happened and SBaji thought you were possibly interested in her so she was just acting on that.
Hmm if this is all that there is to the story, then def its your sister's frnds fault. However are you sure you never gave her any signs, even unintentionally, that made her feel as if you were interested in her?.
I am sure its gonna be little odd for your sister to interact with her friend for a while but with time it should be ok. Though i do wonder, why her friend behaved the way she did. It's not appropriate so maybe your sister keeping a distance from her wont be that bad of an idea either. Hmm.
Well i never gave any sign for sure. However, my personality is very cheerful. I talk and interact with everybody and i talk to her or even joked with her like brother and sister do. Not anything to be minded off.
If this is all there is to it...then its SBaji's fault. But I would really analyze your behaviour and see if you inadvertantly gave out the wrong signal? At any point did you say something that could be misinterpreted? It may have happened and SBaji thought you were possibly interested in her so she was just acting on that.
Regardless, just be careful in the future.
Well Maham asked same question whether or not i gave some sort of signal. Not that I know. But looking from third person which my sister advised me "logon kai saath zyada free na hua karo". Probably, it is possible i un-intentionally said something which she took it in a wrong way. Don't know, need to stop feeling bad about all of it.
Do you have any feelings for her? If not then talk to her, although stop calling her Baji if she does not want you to. You have to respect her choices and the fact that she is unmarried, a 27 years old guy calling her baji is probably making her feel older than she really is.
If the "baji" wanted to change the nature of the relationship with you, she should have spoken to you directly to gauge your interest. Going to your sister was a bad call on her part. If her friendship with your sister is important they will both make an effort to repair the relationship over time.
As for you, the lesson is to be more careful in how you interact with others. Despite your own intentions others may impute or assume other motives to your conduct.
