Re: My sister wants to marry...
Culture matters. If they decide to live in America for the rest of their lives, fine. Go anywhere else and they will find the going hard.
Re: My sister wants to marry...
autonomy in making life-long decisions, such as career, where to settle down, and who to pick to get married with, is extremely important and these are very serious matters.
inter racial marriage by and large do not work out, even when the husband and wide are true to each other.
language differences, cultural differences, the issue of making future child/children follow one way or another, all cram the minds of the couple or their families.
but, it is not a sin to marry someone who you love. it better be a commitment oriented & focused decision to stay married unless things get really rough, like is probable in any marriage.
if he can change his religion for her, out of his own accord, and is a stable man, there is nothing wrong with it, yes, but it is highly desirable that he becomes a practicing Muslim. i hope that she is too.
if their understanding and philosophy about life, is similar, if their ambitions are similar and if they are generally content with each other, independent of emotionality caused due to the ‘in-love‘ situation, then who is anyone to despise them?
ultimately, the marriage is some life long process to be made to work, ideally seamlessly, by no one else, but the two people who get married to each other.
this is what u and ur parents can do for ur sister, u should listen to the reasons ur sister and ur prospective brother in law might have in their defense and then
share ur concerns about the possibility of them getting married.
certainly u would not like, someone, even a kin, tells u who to not marry, as long as that person is obviously bad or immoral.
may Allah make her decide the right thing.
best ,
dushi
Re: My sister wants to marry…
The being white is a non-issue as far as I’m concerned. First I’d want to be sure that the conversion is not just for the sake of marriage. Then I’d want to see if they’re otherwise compatible. Then before finalizing anything, I would do istikhaara.
Re: My sister wants to marry...
lozer!
Re: My sister wants to marry...
they'll both be living in Dundee, the guy is a scot anyway, and my sis works there so it shouldn't be a problem,Insha-Allah.
so we'll be too far to interfere, :) and so will his parents, :) who aren't really supportive of him anyway , they live in Edinburagh.
Re: My sister wants to marry...
The guy converted long before this marriage came about, and i know the younger generation think colour doesn't matter bt u should have seen the reaction we got from some of our 'family'
they weren't best pleased to say the least!!
Thankfully our parents are understanding and have agreed to the marriage with there blessings!!
can u all pray for Salma & Ahmed, please, the last thing we need is for ppl saying I Told U So!!
All marriages take alot of hard work, Allah willing everything should work out fine for these two.
Re: My sister wants to marry...
This whole "cultural difference" argument is just a bunch of yadayada. Beleive me. The most important things to make a good marriage are understanding, compromise, willingness to please each other, respect and love for each other. The rest just flows along. And yes, there are ups and downs - but these occur even in the best of "culturally matched" marriages.
Those who have this "cultural difference" phobia really dont know what they're talking about or are so rigidly set in their ways that they cant see, accept or understand that different people have different customs and ways.
Re: My sister wants to marry...
Person to person it differs greatly.
A friend of mine married a revert and he is much better muslim than I am. I have another friend who married a revert as well and now they are not even close to being muslims. Their kids are more confused than ever from religious point of view as well as cultural point of view.
It all depends if she has a stronger faith and can influence him positively. If not, they could have a good marriage but their kids will have to deal with confusion around religion and culture.
Your sister should think long and hard and should take emotions out of picture. Emotions distort your views and do not allow you to get a good grasp of the look term outlook.
All the best.
Re: My sister wants to marry...
if they are liberal then that probably means there arent too many cultural differences...no?
Re: My sister wants to marry…
That is true, but we are social animals and have to learn to live in a connected environment. I am on the liberal side, but my wife’s family is not and when I meet them I need to act in certain way to make her happy and avoid unneccessary conflict. It becomes very difficult when you are socializing and discussing topics, because your real thougts and feelings do come out regardless of how you dress and how you are trying to behave in order to blend in.
You do need to look at the entire thing in a larger context and not just two people in a relationship.
Just my two cents.