My rishta is broken

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Indeed this is the case. sad face

I thought I would share some of the feelings I’m having so that others may get an idea of how atleast one girl feels when such a thing happens. Plus, its therapy.

How did it happen? They never contacted us when they were supposed to and its been way too long now. Why did it happen? No reason has been given.

Considering that we found out about the rishta through someone else we didnt know too well, I suppose it should have been a sign of precaution.

Anyway, it finally hit me today and boy did it hit hard. I went over it a thousand times with some family members and they cant explain it either. They only say that it wasnt meant to be. I think to myself several scenarios of what might have happened. It feels terrible not knowing. You think what did you do wrong, did you say something wrong, did they find out something they didnt like, if so what was it? Maybe its none of our business. However I do feel its only courteous to call or email and say they will be moving on.

I feel like crying. I was crying. I feel as if I have done something wrong in my life and that is why this is happening to me. I think to myself that atleast I will get the punishment on this earth, as opposed to in the Hereafter.

I dont know what to think. Sadness. Gloom. Sadness. Why? Did they lie about whom they were? Did they not like some uncle of mine? What happened? I dont know. So many months. So many hopes gone.

Will I ever find another like him? He seemed so close to what I wanted in someone, so so close. I cant imagine ever liking anyone else again as I did him. Yes, he was a rishta but our once-a-week phone calls drew me into him. They were short and full of light conversation, yet I was drawn. He had such manners, he was simple, yet had an air of confidence and a take-charge attitude. I had never met anyone like him, and maybe never will. I have to remind myself that this is not Heaven, this is but earth and you cant find perfection here. Perhaps in the Hereafter, Allah willing.

I am sad. I feel broken. Yet I know deep down that maybe Allah has someone better for me, somewhere roaming this earth. When and where I will unite with him, only Allah knows…right now there is only sadness.

Learn to love yourself, then learn to love one-another

2

You know what, you will get over it. You will find someone else, hopefully someone better. And then one day, years from now, you will look back at this period and wonder, how could I feel so bad about it.

If the rishta is really broken, then it is a will of Allah. And if you are feeling sad, that too is will of Allah. And Allah never gives us grief which we can’t handle.

Be brave. Insha allah you will find the person who will cherish you for what you are.

ps. I hope you have this thing confirmed, directly from the guy or his parents. People in the middle can often mis-communicate so make sure that in this case and in future, deal directly with the guy and his immediate family to find out what they are thinking. Don’t rely on middleman aunties and uncles.

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif

3

Munni

The feeling of being broken and sad is temporary. Concentrate on the word ‘temporary’. Over time you will feel better and you will find other ways in life.

And truly believe in the fact that 'jo hota hai wo mazoor e Khuda hota hai.

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif

I hope you feel better.

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/flower1.gif

4

Munni, why are you feeling like that? He is most probably a jerk more interested in what his mommie wants than his own life. Get over it girl and go out and have fun...go watch a movie or something.

5

munni hugs

I know you are feeling low right now liken remember...what happened, happened because ALLAH has someone else destined for you..

sometimes its hard to comprehende but what happens happens for the best

6

Munni
I guess this is why life is known to be so treacherous and sometimes when everything seems to be going fine, it takes such a turn that leaves you in a state of shock. But, you know what the good thing is that if one puts his faith upon Allah and dont let himself down, then this slump in life really turns out to be a temporary one...and this is where one needs a strong belief on himself...and I am glad that reading your post I felt that you are quite understanding and Insha'Allah you will be through this temporary phase soon.

wish you best of luck for your life!

Kaddu khao, jaan banao!

7

Munni,

since you have been talking with the guy.why dont u call and ask directly. Dont sound as if u r begging ,just be firm and decent and ask what was the reason.I think it is important to know the reason for future.May be , Who knows , It might be a confusion which can be clarified when u know the reason.

Jiyo Aur Jeene Do!!!

[This message has been edited by andha_qanoon (edited February 05, 2002).]

8

You know, I always read your posts with so much excitement, they’re always so cute and innocent. And how you were thrilled because your rishta was coming to visit.. you somehow got us all involved.

If this is true, then it’s sad what has happened. Can you just forget it and move on? Well, no. You’ll be told to do so and eventually you will. But this is now, and now is rough. We always get told to look at a bright new tomorrow, they forget we still have today to live through, and today somehow painfully drags on for quite a while.

Anyways, rejection is brutal. Hence, I try to go easy when I have to do it (grins) lame ok. moving on. It’s not you, I hope you know it. So many of us don’t know you fully, yet we love you still. You’re such an adorable person.

You know shyte happens, you don’t always get what you want in life. Some people never find love, some never get their love, some realize twenty years into marriage they’ve lived someone else’s life. Life is just full of wonderful little surprises. But there is always the good stuff to balance it out. In a couple of years, when you’re married, we can tickle you to no end and tease you about this, and you are guaranteed to smile back and ask..hunh, who? We forget so easy, it’s a crime sometimes :slight_smile: (thank god for our selective memory)

So even though today will seem tough and you will be confused, but the last thing on this earth that you should do is feel guilty. I don’t need to babble much, I know that you know that you don’t deserve this and if someone went ahead and did this to you then they didn’t deserve you. simple as that.

The sun will definitely set only to rise again.

And you know, marriage isn’t all there is to life :slight_smile: I know you’re bound to reach an age where it seems like it really is everything.. but I dunno, I personally think people can do way better without. But that’s me.

I hope you feel better. and I also hope “he” hasn’t just fallen into his old habit of not calling and got you all upset for nothing.
In any case, smile. Cuz, we still love you

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif

hugs

9

Munni
Check your email.
Hmcq

10

Munni, I had read a few of your posts about your Rishta, and it came as a saddening surprise that something you had been thinking about for so long, ended so quickly. It is hard, there isn't any denying it.

I really cant offer any better advice than what has already been given, the only thing I'd like to say is, stop looking at what has happened, rather focus yourself on what is up next. Surely, tommorow contains much more happiness than the gloomy yesterday, so why not try and focus on the tommorow? And just keep this in mind --> 'All the sadness, and all the hurt will eventually go away'. It'll only stay there long enough to heal you.

I'm hoping some of this will make you feel better, though none of us here are in your position and can not truly feel what you're going through.

I wish you the best for tommorow and every day that follows :)

11

Munni dear,

I understand how much it may be hurtful for you. It's ok, you will get over it and it was definitely not your fault. Anything that's never in your control is never your fault, and what's not your fault may hurt you but it should never put you down. Getting hurt is good, but only once or twice (although third time is really a charm but don't listen to me).

What's more important is what you get out of this. It is understandable that you were drawn to the 'Rishta' but may be next time around you'd be more in control of your feelings when you talk to another 'Rishta'.

There are always better 'Rishtas' out there.

12

Hota hai . . .
Can't say much about it . . .
Can sympathize about it . . .
You'll live, you'll learn, thats how it is . . .

Jitna Diya Sarkar Nay Mujko, Itni Meri Auqat Nahi, Yeh Saab Tumhara Karam Hai Aqa, Mujh Mein Aisi Koi Baat Nahin.

Courage is not the absence of fear but it is the will to go on.

13

Mard bun Munni :) Come on eh! I mean it.

Rejecting and getting rejected...its all a part of life. I guess we all learn the hard way. Don't let it get to you ok. And believe me its not YOU! Sometimes you are better off not finding out the reasons behind such things.
Move on....u r a very sweet girl and I'm sure u will find someone like urself. Rock on! Like I've said before don't build too much expectations from anyone...After all we are all humans with differents needs and demands which could have no justification whatsoever.

14

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/frown.gif

we’re all sure it’ll work out in the end and everything will turn out fine

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif

15

I was following your rishta posts. Today, I first saw ur job post in career forum. I was wondering why this girl needs a job now if she is getting married. Now I know the reason. I'm very sorry about that. Better forget what happened and move on. Hopefully, everything will work out fine.

Read my reply to ur job post. I hope it will help you in searching a job.

16

(((((((hugs)))))))

17

Thanks Shirin, I needed that. * sniff *.

18

sings A Brand New Day to Munni

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif

This Space For Rent

19

Munni, you are a sweet girl. I wish you all the best from my the bottom of my heart.

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif

20

Munni,

Please check your PM