My Rishta demands

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: My Rishta demands

Good luck with your demands zobia. :k:

22

Re: My Rishta demands

amusing

23

Re: My Rishta demands

yep, that is what I have in mind for the second stage and for that I need to use my ears and eyes and brain. but above mentioned criteria is for the initial stage. you know when you dont know the family and you get a call giving a reference of some mutual link and that they are interested in your daughter. so i am talking about this stage.

24

Re: My Rishta demands

^What if you miss out on a great guy because of that degree criteria.

25

Re: My Rishta demands

But if you save that for the second stage, you may never meet someone who would make a good life partner.

Decide what you require in a spouse and what you would prefer. Don't mix up the two.

26

Re: My Rishta demands

what is a (foreign) degree?

27

Re: My Rishta demands

hmmm…acha and you want me to be interested in someone with notorious reputation? :hoonh:

lol firenze i know, I didnt even mention about drinking and being a player…cuz that is out of question :stuck_out_tongue:

to hear the comments like niksik, sahar02, MIA talking about.

its better for me to discuss em here and see how people react then bluntly spilling it in front of the prospective rishtas and portray myself as holier than thou.

thanks. really appreciate em

thanks.

dont be…its just a thread

28

Re: My Rishta demands

Also, I think it's very good to look for someone who is religious and growing in his faith. Just remember that people are still growing and changing. Look for someone who wants to grow in religious observance, but maybe be flexible about what that means in the present.

29

Re: My Rishta demands

I think a degree from a university in the West.

30

Re: My Rishta demands

Zobia u r looking for perfection dear...per:

kisi ko poora jahan nahi milta
kahin zameen nahi milti kahin aasman nahi milta ..:)

31

Re: My Rishta demands

he is a nice guy , fullfill ur all demands , religous wise quite active, plus quite experienced n mature too.

32

Re: My Rishta demands

Someone being religious doesnt guarantee anything...thats my observation. I know men who recite Qur'an every single day yet treat their wives like meat. I used to think a guy being namazi is great...now not so sure if it even matters.
Religion is something that is WITHIN you...you dont wear it like a badge...its a personal relationship you have with Allah swt. A man that prays 5 times a day and recites Qur'an doesnt make a great husband.

Education is a great thing but again...I have run into what you would call "parhay likhay jaahil"...it doesnt guarantee anything but a paycheck...something you dont need a man for.

Istikhara is a good step to take...I agree with you there. Is it necessary? No. Allah swt has created man...and with this body he also gave us a brain to use. Istikhara is great but I plan on also using the tools He gave me...something I didnt do before.

Your requirements Zobi are generic. A gadha can easily fulfill them...phir kya karogi? Im not trying to be mean here...but just being practical and wondering out loud since Im also going through this process now.

The best way is to get to know him...thats it. Get to know his family and him.

Watch him, the way he treats people, his passions, his desires, his outlooks on life, his opinions on all matters, how close he is to his family, etc.

33

Re: My Rishta demands

well sahar, if some one wants to get a quick intro about your daughter and son, you definetley mention he/she (wasted their 4-6 years) and did their education from this uni. so I am talking about this sort of mentioning.

well Mia, everyone is good its just the time that gives leverage to one over the other. so far I havent rejected anyone cuz of their education or career path but because either of age or either of people near and dear to them gave bad references and examples of em.

well, what do you thnk what i should ask then? i have no idea what makes anyone a good life partner? :konfused:

34

Re: My Rishta demands

Well said Reha :k:

35

Re: My Rishta demands

Well, you can "waste" years at a good school too. Making the most of an education is more about the person and his work ethic, and less about the school.

Sure some schools provide more opportunity than another, but NONE of them guarrantee a thing.

36

Re: My Rishta demands

of course of course...i myself recently started praying namaz and Quran. and researching these days about ruling of hijab. above mentioned requirements are not hardcore ones, even if he appreciates it its good enough for me. cuz not everyone in my family prays :S and it will be hypocrite of me to pressurize someone.

i also strongly believe that if someone shows initiative its better than think yourself as holier than thou and show no resistance to change or make change at all.

37

Re: My Rishta demands

See below.

38

Re: My Rishta demands

Reha, you are right and it is not just about the guy, in fact I should also try to understand his mother. but this all comes for the second stage.

the criteria i mentioned is for the initial stages.

39

Re: My Rishta demands

My roomie had only one 'demand', and some not-so-important preferences. He wanted someone who 'loves God above all'. He found someone who did and it feels like a match made in Heaven. (He is not a Muslim).

One needs to know what you really want in your potential spouse, that would keep you happy in good times and bad. Superficial (quality of the university he attended, physical attributes, wealth) things don't really matter for a serious long-term healthy relationship. They are merely for 'showing off' to your friends and family.

40

Re: My Rishta demands

Okay so I think you need to clarify what you really require in a spouse. Is there anything you are not willing to compromise on? List those. Then separately state what you would prefer, but do not require. What can you be flexible about?