I have been married about 8 months and been apart from my wife for 6 months due to a visa.
So technically I have been with her about just over 2 months coming on 3 months.
So far we have a good relationship, but have encountered some difficulties especially in language and expressing ourselves.
I at many times feel my wife is trying to somehow win over me superior in knowledge and she feels that I don’t know specific things. I will be honest and say she is an intelligent girl, but at times when I tell her this topic or this info is wrong or not used in the UK she rebels and doesn’t accept she maybe wrong, which I do at times when explaining complicated matters like politics, religion, technology and science.
Has anyone went through this phase before as well? Did you come out it successfully?
I would really appreciate it to hear from some people.
biggest reason is that you guys are living apart from 6 months or so. No matter how good is the communication by phone, email, sms etc, its not the substitute of living together and understand each other....
Yeah, my fiance has been in the States for a few years but he is originally from Pakistan. In the beginning, I remember I used to do that to him - but it was unintentional.
(In real life, Im a little bit of a know-it-all and have realized an overdose of that is bad.)
Anyway, what happened is he started getting irritated and one day we had a little tiff where he told me how he felt. I was a bit surprised and decided to work on it. He is a very smart guy (Mashallah) and has many wonderful qualities I admire - he shouldnt feel disrespected. I started to pay attention to all the moments when I felt like rebelling. I would ask myself : Am I really right or just being stubborn? Am I helping or hurting the situation? If I back down, will it do more good than bad?
Its working. We get along more, talk more, come to decisions faster, etc. He also notices the effort I make and tries to do something nice to make me happy too.
Some men are just intimidated by intelligent women.
They get an ego boost explaining “**complicated **matters like politics, religion, technology and science” to their wives - who are supposed to act like they’ve never heard of such things.
And when they happen to marry intelligent wives who DO know what they’re talking about - probably more than the husband does, it’s considered a ‘marital problem’ like you’ve so nicely put “trying to somehow win over you superior in knowledge”. :halo:
Btw, I thought English was your first language - right?
Don't go crazzy worrying about this, just talk to her about it and she'll realize it. It is hard to be in a long distance relationship but the key is total communication!
