My poem

[Kinzz]

I do write sometimes,and I know that I’m not a good poet lol

Here is one of my collection.

Hum mehfil e ghuftaghu na hotay
Agar tum kabhi hamari arzoo na hotay
Socha kabhi tu ne,humne Kia manga Dua Mai
Tum agar her khuwaisho se pehley na hotay
Zabat ka alam yeh ke lab pe la na sakay kuch
Yehi soch kar ke tum ankho Ki zuban perh kyu na sakay.

[STA]

Re: My poem

I do write sometimes,and I know that I'm not a good poet lol

Here is one of my collection.

Tum **mehfil e ghuftaghu na hotay Agar tum kabhi hamari arzoo na hotay Socha kabhi **tum ne,humne Kia manga Dua Mai Tum agar her khuwaisho se pehley na hotay Zabat ka alam yeh ke lab pe la na sakay kuch Yehi soch kar ke tum ankho Ki zuban perh kyu na sakay.

check bold part

[Kinzz]

Re: My poem

Tum likha hai?? So ?

[STA]

Re: My poem

@Kinzz

Tum likha hai?? So ?

oho, main koi itna maher nahi hon. fakhta bhai say critical analysis karwain. unki shaeri ki skill ziydah achia hai. ya phri muqa iss par nazr-e-sani kar saktay hain.

[Kinzz]

Re: My poem

Magar mistake Kia hai Mai samjhi nahi

And lagta hai faakhta kahi urh gae warna abhi tak jhaank chuki hoti

[STA]

Re: My poem

app mehfil e guftago kiyon hain. ? explain, then i will correct my correction. :)

[TLK]

Re: My poem

I like it :k:

Please share more KInzz

[Kinzz]

Re: My poem

App aesa lagay ga kese kisi ko khat likh Rahey hain

Poetry Mai tum ya tu use houta hai..

Bare bare shaura Ki poetries pe ghor nahi Kia apne ?

[STA]

Re: My poem

@Kinzz

App aesa lagay ga kese kisi ko khat likh Rahey hain

Poetry Mai tum ya tu use houta hai..

Bare bare shaura Ki poetries pe ghor nahi Kia apne ?

main sirf pehli correction ki baat kar raha hon. dosri tum ka itna masla nahi hai.

[Kinzz]

Re: My poem

Lekin hain to Dono TUM na??

Wese ho sakta hai yeh mistake ho and doosri bhi kuch mistakes ho,coz Mai itna zyada poetry ka pata nahi.

[Kinzz]

Re: My poem

@TLK

I like it :k:

Please share more KInzz

Thanks Tlk bhai, yes sure I will

[jiia]

Re: My poem

very nice KINZZ keep it up:k:

[arain_munda]

Re: My poem

good

[queen_24]

Re: My poem

I do write sometimes,and I know that I'm not a good poet lol

Here is one of my collection.

Hum mehfil e ghuftaghu na hotay Agar tum kabhi hamari arzoo na hotay Socha kabhi tu ne,humne Kia manga Dua Mai Tum agar her khuwaisho se pehley na hotay Zabat ka alam yeh ke lab pe la na sakay kuch Yehi soch kar ke tum ankho Ki zuban perh kyu na sakay.

efforts ke marks hain magar kuch bay-rabt si hay..... continuity nahin hay!! ya ye kehlo, linked nahin hay!!

[jiia]

Re: My poem

efforts ke marks hain magar kuch bay-rabt si hay..... continuity nahin hay!! ya ye kehlo, linked nahin hay!!

usne konsa MAJMUAA chapvana hy :)

[KKF]

Re: My poem

I do write sometimes,and I know that I'm not a good poet lol

Here is one of my collection.

Hum mehfil e ghuftaghu na hotay Agar tum kabhi hamari arzoo na hotay Socha kabhi tu ne,humne Kia manga Dua Mai Tum agar her khuwaisho se pehley na hotay Zabat ka alam yeh ke lab pe la na sakay kuch Yehi soch kar ke tum ankho Ki zuban perh kyu na sakay.

waah...kia baat hai...ibtidaa e shaa'irii bhii nahiiN hai, maashaa Allah kaafii kuchh likh chukii ho...aise hii likhtii raho iA kaamiyaab rahogii! :)

Allah kare zor e qalam aur ziyaada! :)

ek chhoTaa saa point hai:

yeh ne "maHfil-e-guftugu" likhaa hai aur jiskaa matlab tum ne "maHfil kii cheh-e-mee-goiyaaN" liyaa hai magar Faarsii kii izaafat [connectivity] kii roo se ise "guftuguu-e-meHfil" honaa chaahiye kiuN k jahaN izaafat 'alaamat "-e-"] hotii hai vahaN ek se zaayad alfaaz hoN to use ulaT kar [backwards] paRhte haiN...

maHfil-e-guftuguu = guftuguu kii maHfil
guftuguu-e-meHfil = maHfil kii guftuguu

[ehsan]

Re: My poem

Good effort. :k:

[queen_24]

Re: My poem

@Kinzz

I do write sometimes,and I know that I’m not a good poet lol

Here is one of my collection.

Hum mehfil e ghuftaghu na hotay
Agar tum kabhi hamari arzoo na hotay
Socha kabhi tu ne,humne Kia manga Dua Mai
Tum agar her khuwaisho se pehley na hotay
Zabat ka alam yeh ke lab pe la na sakay kuch
Yehi soch kar ke tum ankho Ki zuban perh kyu na sakay.

Hum kbhi Mehfil-e-guftugu na hotay
tum jo gr arzu-e-dil na hotay

socha kabhi kiya mangte dua main hum
tum jo gr dil me basay na hotay

aalam-e-zabat ke zuban p quful!!
kash ishara-e-nzr tum parh chuky hotay!!

now thats the version I corrected for you!! dono main difference dekh lo I could make it more clear but i wanted to keep your matter there!!

good luck for your future, You have skills though :k:

[queen_24]

Re: My poem

usne konsa MAJMUAA chapvana hy :)

Who knows........kab shoq intiha ban jayee........wese bhi shairana mizaaj ke log kafi emotional aur sensitive hotay hain...........kab kiya tay kerjayen, kuch pata nahin hota........ I know because I am a shaira myself :)

[KKF]

Re: My poem

Who knows........kab shoq intiha ban jayee........wese bhi shairana mizaaj ke log kafi emotional aur sensitive hotay hain...........kab kiya tay kerjayen, kuch pata nahin hota........ I know because I am a shaira myself :)

wow! kia inkishaafaat ho raha haiN yahaN...ab aap bhii apnaa koii kalaam sunaayeN aur apnaa bhii koii majmoo'a shaayt'a karvaayeN :) maiN to muntazir e deed huN :)